Luck vs. Competence

Personally, I'd take either. But when it comes to tackle football, particularly the variety played by the Broncos of Denver's Mile High Kingdom, I have a little trouble sussing out the difference.

For instance, each of the last two weeks, we've had a 21-3 lead over our opponent--and each of the last two weeks, we've blown it. We've scored touchdowns in bunches and given them right back in bunches of similar size. It would be hard to imagine two more nose-crinkling performances than those last ones, and we're a blown call and a missed field goal away from being 1-3 instead of 3-0. But what does it all mean?

Don't look at me. Fuck if I know.

I do know that we have the lead in the division. I know that Cutler is still a little rough around the edges. I know that Brandon Marshall is a stud and that a horse runs around our field after we score and that Karl Mecklenburg was awesome. I know I drank a shit-ton of Miller Lite today and it's making me gassy.

I also know that this next weekend we revisit The Tradition, aka the more-than-rough focus of this blog, for the first time in 2008. I know that we'll be devouring smoked meast, drinking too much Kansas City corn liquor and wearing team jerseys like 10 year-olds. I know that the Bronco-rootin' contingent of 7 and I will say untoward things to enormous, glowering hillbillies, spill full cups of beer on innocent senior citizens and be thankful that at no point will we have to play hockey.

I know that, despite every indicator to the contrary, The Administrator will be pissing vinegar about his squad's chances, practicing his tomahawk choppin' and parking us next to squadrons of like-minded, Crown-swilling teenagers with undeveloped ideas about their own sexuality. I know this, all of it.

And while it may not be much, I further know that the Chefs stand as much chance of winning this game as I do of staying at all sober throughout the long weekend.

Predictions will come later, but for now, this fan of the NFL's Luckiest Team is ready to climb into that Arrowhead Catbird Seat. Bring on the Thigpen!


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Saturday Shorty: Brief Choncosphere Scopage

Somewhere in the back of my brain is the tendency to hope/believe that the more I think/write about the upcoming game, the better the Chiefs' chances of winning are. While this clearly isn't true, I can throw that misguided optimism into the winds of possibility, and at worst case, be better armed with reasons why Kansas City would've won if I'd been wearing the headset on the sideline. In any case, it's fun to take a look around the Web, and see what more professional sports bloggers are saying about Chiefs/Falcons and Broncos/Saints. It's not that I care about the latter beyond a poor performance by Cutler, an Eddie Royal injury, and a Saints victory, but more so an obligated feeling to touch on the Denver squad's contest since the other slouches in this House make my laziness look like Olympic training compared to theirs. So we'll have a slanted look at both, just after the jump.

Big Knoxy over at KC Chiefs Football has put together a post consisting of key matchups for tomorrow's game. Number one on the list is "Tyler Thigpen vs. Tyler Thigpen," which I couldn't have said better myself. Hopefully, he participated in some tackling drills this weekend, because if he telegraphs passes in Atlanta like he did against the Raiders, he'll frequently be the last line of defense.

To a degree, we're all homers, right? I know the three of us here are, but realistically so. Earlier in the week, Mile High Report sat down with SaintSational, who writes for the Canal Street Chronicles. Their aim was to of course discuss tomorrow's game, and SaintSational is of course picking Brees and Co. to get the win, 35-34.

Finally, a writer out there agrees with me on Brodie Croyle and the Chiefs. His name's Pat Clifton and he writes for Warpaint Illustrated. The piece he put out earlier this week hints that Croyle -- in terms of quarterbacks currently on the roster -- is certainly the number one:

"Croyle isn't a winner" is "an unfair assessment. Dwayne Bowe has a bad record in a Chiefs uniform, but no one is saying he’s not a winner. Glenn Dorsey’s 0-2 as a pro, but he’s not yet been labeled a loser. This team, as a whole, over the last 18 games has not been much of a winner...The lesson to be learned here is that the Chiefs go from mediocre to really bad when Croyle is not playing...He’s not a great quarterback, but Croyle is an NFL-caliber player, something that can’t be said for Huard or Thigpen, who may develop into a decent player, but...he's not even close right now."

In this business (Editor's Note: No, I don't know what business that is.) slants are a good thing. I'm sure Ian over at BroncoTalk would agree. He's compiled a list of statistics that apply to this Broncos/Saints game that make it look like club from the Big Easy's got its work cut out for it. Well, at least the "Quick Facts" section makes it seem so. Either way, a good read.

The gang at Arrowhead Pride sat down with Dave the Falconer (of The Falcoholic fame)for a quick Q&A. The piece touches on some key factors for the matchup, and though it has multiple interviewers, it fits a mold similar to our Falcons' blogger Q&A.

More importantly, though, is how Broncos' first-rounder Ryan Clady is fitting into the mold of a Denver offensive lineman. How, you might ask, can we check on that? Well, we can ask Cecil's best buddy Bill Williamson.

"Denver Broncos rookie left tackle Ryan Clady got a "Welcome to the NFL" greeting from the league office. The No. 12 overall draft pick was fined $5,000 for a chop block on San Diego defensive lineman Igor Olshansky in Denver's 39-38 win over the Chargers on Sunday...Two years ago, Olshanky and Denver center Tom Nalen had an incident in which both players were fined."

Wow. That didn't take long at all. I mean, really...double-wow. Two weeks into his professional career, and Clady's chop-blocking and getting fined $5K for it. But, wait; stop before you cast judgment, because every other team in the league does it, and they do it just as often as the Broncos do. Riiiiggghhhhttt....Let's look around and see how many other rookie offensive lineman have been rung up for chop blocking two games into the '08 season. Hmm. None. Maybe there weren't any other O-lineman drafted this year. Yeah. That's got to be it.



And that's your Saturday fix, folks. Let's cheer that gold NFC team to victory, right after we leave the red-and-black one hurting at home.
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Sleeping With the Enemy: Week Three, Chiefs @ Falcons

It's time once again for another episode of "Sleeping With the Enemy," and this week we're coming out you from the Household of our very own Old No. 7. He's not very happy to be hosting the wife and I, and he's even grumpier that I'm using his computer to write about the Chiefs. Thus, I've snuck around and made myself scarce, and am left to hammer out this post and get it published early.After an impressive season-opener in New England, and the most embarrassing game in NFL history in week two's loss to Lane Kiffin's Raiders, the Chiefs are again on the road, and look to get win number one at the hands of the Atlanta Falcons. Gerald from Bleacher Report was kind enough to join us this week, and you can find samples of his high-quality writings about the dirty birds over at Flying High. Our conversation about this Chiefs-Falcons matchup, after the jump.

Bankmeister: I'll be honest from the get-go: I know very little about the Falcons, and if it weren't for fantasy football, the Vick trials, and the AFC West transactions with Atlanta in the off-season, I probably wouldn't know anything. I do pay some attention to the draft, but not much beyond my own team. Obviously Matt Ryan went to Atlanta, but how, in your opinion did the Falcons fare otherwise this past April?

Gerald: The Falcons had a very good draft if you look at the overall picture of what the team needed. Many fans were just dying to add Glenn Dorsey to the roster but this team needed a QB in the very worst way. Besides Ryan, OT Sam Baker from USC filled a need and so far has done very well for a rookie thrown right into the mix. The Falcons added some depth at LB, DE, CB, and WR. Many of the new faces have already been in the starting lineup and have had to grow up quickly. Post draft I would rate the Falcons as a B+ but as anyone knows it takes at least 2 full seasons before the jury is completely in on any draft.

B: Tell me about the 53-man roster. Ryan being a rookie will have its ups and downs I'm sure, but he's got Michael Jenkins and Roddy White to throw to, so that's a plus. A backfield with Jerious Norwood and Michael Turner sounds pretty threatening. What, in your estimation, are the strengths and weaknesses of this club?

G: Running back is certainly a position of strength right now. Despite last Sunday's setback in Tampa, this running back tandem can run over almost any team right now. Once the OL improves there will be no stopping them. Speaking of OL, that would be an area of great concern for the Falcons. Last week Sam Baker went down with an injury (he's back this week) and there was a noticeable reduction in pass protection and run production. So far the starters have been a capable bunch but once one of them goes down, their stability and their production drops signifigantly. WR is quickly becomming a strength with White, Jenkins, and second year player Laurent Robinson. The DL has a true beast in John Abraham but on the other side is Jamaal Anderson who has not proved that he is worth last years #8 overall pick. Our CB's are tiny but so far have handled the big boys pretty well. So if I were to pin it down to a single strength and a single weakness, I'd go RB and OL.

B: Regarding fan impression, how do the Falcons faithful view this club in the aftermath of Mike Vick's situation and Bobby Petrino bailing? I heard an unfounded rumor that ticket sales were not good at all, and that there may even be some flailing overall enthusiasm for this team, from its fans.

G: The Falcon faithful are just that, faithful. Sadly their numbers are few and far between. The majority of the fans that go to the home games are fair weathered fans who rise on fall with the teams win/loss record. The departure of Mike Vick had thousands of "fans" returning their tickets. Atlanta sports teams have always had a history of fickle fans. For years it was the excuse that Atlanta was a transient city and with so many transplants the home teams had trouble drawing fans. The truth is that Atlanta sportsfans will come when you win and there hasn't been much winning in Atlanta for years. The real fans are very excited about the teams' new GM (Thomas Dimitroff from the Patriots), Coach (Mike Smith from the Jags), and all the new faces. The general consensus is that this team finally has a top level front office in place and with that the team will achieve the success that has eluded them for so many years.

B: The off-season was an interesting one for Atlanta and the AFC West. The Broncos sent over Domonique Foxworth, and Jason Elam was nabbed as well. DeAngelo Hall was allegedly unhappy, and now he's a Raider. And the Chiefs nabbed Demorrio Williams via free-agency. All of these moves are interesting considering it happened to be prior to the season the NFC South plays the AFC West. Do you think each of these moves were good ones for the organization? I mean, certainly the Falcons front office does, but how about fans and media?

G: The new front office certainly took no time to in cleaning house and creating their own blueprint for winning. If they felt you didnt fit the new mold or had questionable character, you were'nt going to be part of the new Falcons. DeAngelo Hall and his antics would no longer be tolerated. Based on how he played against Denver two weeks ago, it was a great move.

Williams is a good young player whom the Falcons probably wanted to keep, but not at what KC was offering. So far the fans have had few problems with the offseason moves. Sure it took time to swallow and digest but as things progress I think the fans are seeing the big picture rather than just a single season. No one likes to say goodbye to players who helped shape the past. Guys like Warrick Dunn and Alge Crumpler were marquee players on this team but all good things come to an end and it was time for them and this team to move forward. As far as the media...they have never been one to like anything the Falcons do and the fans have learned to tune them out years ago.

<B: How about the departure of Alge Crumpler affect the offense? And how will the defense hold up through 17 weeks. They gave up 20+ points in weeks one and two, but that might be par for the course. Clearly Mike Smith is a defensive-minded head coach, and he has an awesome defensive phenom assistant in former Chief Emmitt Thomas. Brian VanGorder is the mystery in the mix as far as I'm concerned. Is three too many defensive minds working for a common goal, or is it the perfect mix?

G: With the new offense run by Mike Mularkey, the emphasis on the tight end will be as more of a blocker. Crumpler, while being a great player, was as successful as he was in Atlanta due mainly to Michael Vick. He was Vick's favorite target and many feel that was because Vick had difficulty reading the defense and used Crumpler soley as his primary target even when the play called for him to be the safety valve.

B: This weekend's game could actually be a sleeper. I imagine that the Chief (or anybody) could play worse football than they did last Sunday against Oakland. They've had trouble stopping the run, and they'll certainly have their hands full with Turner. How do you see this matchup panning out?

G: The Falcons are coming off a big loss and the arrest of team leader Lawyer Milloy on a DUI charge. Matt Ryan was harrassed all day last week and got his official "Welcome to the NFL, Rookie" game out of the way. I expect the Falcons to respond big this week. Coach Mike Smith will have this team inspired and fired up. Watch for the run game to be established early and often given KC's history over the past two weeks. Expect Matt Ryan to be more of a complimentary factor rather than in the spotlight. Mike Mularkey will continue to earn his nickname of "Inspector Gadget" by incorporating several unique and dazzling plays into the mix. Dont expect a large crowd or the noise to be a factor in anyway. Despite last weeks adversity and lack of a large home crowd the Falcons should run wild over the Chiefs: Falcons 27 Chiefs 13.

B: Excellent analysis, and an interesting score prediction, Gerald. I think, given that the Atlanta offensive line is, as you estimated, the weakness, that that could be a bit generous to give the Chiefs 13 points given that they managed 10 in week one, and a mere eight last Sunday. Nevertheless, I'm hoping beyond hope that Tyler Thigpen acts like he's been in a football game before when the Chiefs offense takes the field. He couldn't have looked more lost than he did at home versus the Raiders, and if I were in the KC front office, I'd be looking to cut him if he repeats that performance in Georgia. I will, however, play the homer card, and predict a Chiefs win. And, heck, since you gave them 13, I'll raise you a point, and say that the visiting squad takes the victory, 14-10.

Either way, the House is grateful to have had you over as a guest. Come back and visit us again sometime.

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Baseball In The Daytime: 9-19-08

No matter where you sit on the Cubs bandwagon (I ride in coach, and I will jump off quickly if the going gets rough), we can all agree that St. Louis is bad news. Oh God, everybody hates St. Louis. Booooo.

Whatever, let's just start these playoffs already. We all know that the Brewers and the D'Bags and the Twins ain't making it, so let's just get this shit going today. No one really cares about MVP awards or statistical milestones--give me more playoffs. You'll find one of the teams that will participate in October (and one that will not) after the jump...

St. Louis @ Chicago, 12:20 Mountain Carlos Zambrano makes his first start following his no-hitter of the Astros, and Adam Wainwright flies the Card colors at Wrigley. Like anyone watches the players, we all just want to get some hot red-tank-top poon shots from the crowd. Remember Arne Harris, the old WGN producer from the Harry Caray days? That cat was some kind of perv. All he'd do is seek out fine young women in the bleachers and put them on the screen. Whatever Ryne Sandberg did was secondary. Have one on me, Arne, and Play Ball!
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Midseason Report Card: NL East

At long last, the cycle is complete as we bring you our final installment of MLB Midseason Report Cards. We've spared no expense or chunk of time in doing so, as the fact that it's mid-September clearly illustrates. Today, we'll have a look at the National League East, and our guest expert is none other than Mr. Geoff Bousum, who graced us with his presence in this same fashion last year. Our other features from this year can be found here, here, here, here, and here. All your NL East goodies for 2008, however, are just after the jump.

Bankmeister: Let's start with the bottom of the division and work our way up; that seems to be a pleasant way of scouring clubs. The Washington Nationals are a very bad baseball team. I mean they're scrapping for title of worst with the Mariners right now. I've got a soft spot for them because I used to dig on the Expos as a kid. The move from Canadia to our nation's capital was supposed to do them some good. What's the deal with this team? A glance at their roster resembles a glance in the toilet after swilling Hamm 's for three days straight. There's some liquid in there. There's some crap in there. There's some shit you don't recognize, and there's the overwhelming sense of "Christ. I shouldn't have done that." What's in store for this franchise in the next three years? Any progress?

Geoff Bousum: Your question pretty much answers itself. I really doubt the Nats are going to be much better in the next 3 years. As long as there are teams like Pittsburgh and Kansas City (no offense, brah) in the league, they at least have the chance to no be the worst team in the league. Things are pretty ugly when Lastings Milledge is your clean-up hitter and has the most HRs on your team with 14, although that may be one of the greatest names ever. If I ever have a butler, his name is going to be Lastings Milledge. I think Howard and Utley combined have more homers than the Nats. Injuries have been a big part, but that aside, the obvious truth is that there is really no talent on any part of this team. Who was their all star? Cristian Guzman? He probably saw five innings of that shit all-star game. No talent=no wins. I say last place for the Nats in the NL East the next three years.

B: You might be right there. The poor bastard. Then there's Atlanta . The proverbial NL East stronghold for many years is nearly 20 games under .500 right now. As Durango 's once-famed band SuperBee once titled an album, "What the Crap?" has happened to Club Schuerholz? They were loaded with talent for some time, and perhaps hung onto a few of those meaty cuts beyond their reccommended expiration dates. Are the Braves as respected in the talent-scouting department as they were, say 15 years ago?

GB: I don’t think that the Braves recent lack of success is due to poor talent scouting. I have to say, I saw this coming for Atlanta. They had such a great core of players for so long; it’s hard to keep that going for a few years, let alone for 14 division titles. Again, an injury plagued season……but, nobody there to pick up the slack. McCann had a nice season, as did Chip (white trash) but the bullpen sucks, the starting rotation is not much better, and they cannot win on the road. That's a bad combination. Personally, I love it. For almost 15 years of my life I watched this team own my Phillies, and it is nice to see the tables turned. I gotta say though, it is will be a sad day when Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz are all retired. Those are a select few that the game will miss. Does that sound gay?

B: Good points, and yes -- it sounds very gay. Not as gay as when we talk Florida Marlins baseball, but pretty gay. In talking Marlins though, we seldom mention phrases like exceeding expectations. Sure. They won a series, and opened 2008 as tough as their AL counterparts in Tampa . They've managed to stay competitive, but have dropped in the standings to third, likely because the Mets and Phils are just plain better. Is this club on the verge of becoming an annual contender, or has this season been semi-flukish?

GB: I think that the Fish could be the pests of the NL East for years to come. They were putting together a nice season until the Phillies, then the Mets got hot and the Marlins went in the opposite direction. They can score runs, hit the long ball, but they also strike out a lot and make some errors. Their pitching is pretty shaky, and that punk Scott Olsen...I would like to grab the brim of his big stupid hat and put my knee into his little beak nose. Seriously though, I admire what this team has done with the pathetic fan base and lack of support they get from that city (that goes for you too, TAMPA !) That said, I wouldn’t care if they moved the team to Vegas and called them the Dice. They could join the AL West. They are trying to get a new stadium approved which may help, but I doubt it. It will just look less empty than a Joe Robbie’s Pro Dolphin Player Stadium or whatever it’s called.

B: I think it's called Miami Stadium Where Seldom Plays a Pro, but I could be wrong. Finally, though, there's Philly and New York. I'm pretty certain no two division rivals have flopped first and second place more times this year than these two. LA and Arizona have been close, as have Chicago and Minnesota , but this could be a last-day dual for Eastern Division bragging rights. Since your Phils are in second today with a mere half-game separating them from the Mets, how have you felt about their play this season? They've got a pretty stacked roster, as do the Shea Stadium kids. Would you say it's typical that these two clubs have been as competitive as they have been with one another?

And the Mets. They've got some girth to their giddy-up, but can they muster a push strong enough to hold off Philly? If they can, what will the post-season look like for them? Choke city?

GB: Mets v Phillies has always been a great rivalry, but it has been magnified over the last few years of course, as these two teams have been the contenders for the division. As I write this the Phillies have a half-game lead on the division, in first place, where they have been most of the year. Contrary to what the idiots in the media are portraying, the Mets are not on track for the epic melt down of last year. Last year was a Chernobyl-scale melt down, where as this year’s meltdown (if it indeed happens) would be more like a cheese fondue. I think the biggest lead the Mets have had in the division was like three and-a-half games and it was for only a few days. It’s not like they had a commanding lead all season and have all of the sudden shit the bed, but that’s what the writers want us to think, because it makes a better story. Failure is a far better story than success. These are the two best teams in the NL East, and maybe the two best in the NL. The Phillies probably have a more complete team than the Mets and the Phillies have a much better chance to go deep in the playoffs. The Mets have too many weak spots (particularly the bullpen) to win a playoff series. If they make the playoffs (which I think they will as the wild-card), they will lose in the first round. If the Phillies win the Division, or even make a wild card, Ryan Howard has got to be the MVP. Forget the .245 average and the 200 strikeouts. The guy is the most feared hitter in baseball and he is even starting to make some Web gems! I am watching the game right now; I still don’t know who this J.A. Happ guy is, but he is pitching well. Kyle Kendrick anyone?

B: Hard to argue with. Well, we'll call it a wrap there, and look to see your Phillies go deep into October. Thanks for joining us.



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Baseball In The Daytime: 9-18-08

Rest assured there is day baseball today, kids, lots of it actually. I just don't have the time to detail it in a snarky way. Oh, I could play it straight and just give you the facts--records, starting pitchers, local weather. But if you wanted straight you'd go to the big boys. The reason you are reading these very words, dear readers, is the snark. I'm sorry I can not deliver.

So I send you off to the land of corporate sport. Be careful. While you can find the basic info you seek for an afternoon of lazy baseball-watchin', you'll also have your soul slowly ripped from whatever part of the body a soul resides. Stay focused and keep your head on a swivel, and join us tomorrow for some real snarky shit. Read more

Midseason Report Card: NL Central

Ha. Had you fooled twice! Not only is it not mid-season, it's Cleveland that Jesus hates! Whoa. I'm embarrassed to have included exclamation points in consecutive sentences. Oh, well. Wilier things have happened in this House.

Anyway, it's practically mid-season for the NFL, so we're par for the course in Tokyo, or something. Today's focus is the NL Central, and our guest is actually not a guest at all; he lives in this House, and his name is Cecil. He was kind enough to take time out of his daily grind to sit down, and tell us how it be in baseball. Somehow -- must be the genius that he is -- he was able to come up with really good answers to my really awful questions. Pick up on what he's puttin' down, after the jump, and if you dig it, the other editions of this feature are as such:

NL West, AL East, AL Central, AL West


Bankmeister: Let's work our way from the bottom up. Shall we? Okay. Good. The Pittsburgh Pirates. What. The fuck. I'm beginning to consider this team the Arizona Cardinals of Major League Baseball. It seems that every season, folks are thinking the Pirates have gotten it together, and are ready to play some better baseball. Not the case. Right now they sit at 60-84, a cool 26 games out of first, and nestled deep in the basement. Do you pay any attention to this team? Is there any reason to?

Cecil: Me? I barely even recognize Pittsburgh as an American city. Does it exist? Those big sandwiches with the fries in 'em, that's all fake, right?

So, no. I keep up with the Pirates only as far as checking Nate McLouth's stats in the box score. I drafted him in our fantasy league in like the 413th round this year, as you'll recall.

Which is kinda sad, at least in the context of baseball history. I mean, these are the flippin' Pittsburgh Pirates. Roberto Clemente, the 1960 World Series, Honus Wagner. It's a franchise with history flowing over its belt. 1979, We Are Family, Willie Stargell. These are iconic bits of American sporting life. Almost as much as their crazy-ass old round caps with the lines on 'em. Jesus, those things were hideous.

They also had Kent Tekulve, whose delivery I used to attempt to imitate in the backyard. Turns out the submarine isn't for everyone.

B: True indeed. Although, being the homer that I am, I always pretended that Tekulve ripped of Dan Quisenberry. Along the same vein as you expressed, the Pirates are to me, a team of the past, a team well-remembered from my youth, but seldom thought of in today's game. I'm sure there are Pittsburgh fans that would have me slain, but it's the truth.

The Reds, however, are a different animal, if only by species, but different nonetheless. They seem to occasionally wrap their hands around some talent, and the organization appears to be run fairly well, now that a certain she-devil has passed. Yet, they can't seem to get all the gears to run simultaneously. Their record right now isn't much better than Pittsburgh's, but I certainly take them more seriously. Your thoughts on the not-all-that-big-anymore Red Machine?

C: Speaking of Quis, I found a button with his likeness on it in a Seattle thrift shop. Keep meaning to give it to you -- I'll bring it out for the game.

The Reds are different, absolutely -- but it's hard to judge by the numbers, as you say. They always have talent, they always have the fans, they have more history than any other franchise in baseball--they are the oldest extant, even more so than my ancient Cubs -- but in recent years, something's definitely been missing....

Maybe starting pitching? I mean, without really doing any research or thinking about it too hard, that seems to be the Reds' bugbear. They have Edinson Volquez now, and he's pretty good, but before that...Joaquin Andujar? Seriously, I just can't think of one. I know they play in a matchbox, and they like sluggers and 10-9 games, but at some point you need pitching, right? All the Adam Dunns and Junior Griffeys in the world can't change that.

But their success when we were kids, plus that of the relatively recent past -- they did win a Series in 1990, after all -- kinda pushes them farther up the list than Pittsburgh, even if neither franchise has really done anything recently.

B: For sure. Johnny Cueto looked like he was going to have a monster season early on, but then he plummeted to the likes of sub-mediocrity. Flippin' Bronson Arroyo has managed to net 14 wins and upwards of 150 fans, but his E.R.A. stays in the high fours. Then there's Aaron Harang, who loaded bushels of Ks into his stats last year, but hasn't been much worth mentioning since. The rest of their guys aren't even household names, including former Rock and Royal Jeremy Affeldt.

But alas, there's another red team to discuss, and that of course is none other than the ass-pounding Cardinales de St. Louis. I can't stand that franchise, and I imagine you feel the same. Perhaps this is our commonest baseball ground?

C: Eh, fuck the Cardinals.

I mean -- this is a year when, finally, I can kinda sit back and just forget they even exist. And you know what? That flippin' rules.

From photogray lens-wearing La Russa to Pujols to their red-clad, huge-gutted fanbase, I can say without reservation that I absolutely despise that team. Seriously, how many Series have they won? I'm too lazy (not to mention behind the 8-ball at work) to look it up, but it's a lot. And then, '06, when they squeeze into the playoffs with a record barely-over-.500 record and win it again? Christ. It makes my teeth hurt just talking about it. One of my co-workers is a Cards fan and magnaminously suggested that hey, maybe they lose that one -- "because we already have so many."

Die. Die. Die die die die die. And I don't mean the German usage.

Ah, but now, they have a fairly mediocre squad (even though they have a winning record) and former assholio grande Jim Edmonds is now playing for the good guys. They've been ravaged by injuries and Rick Ankiel joins Troy Glaus in shooting up a neckful of horse semen during the 7th inning stretch. This is what I like to call a good season. Sit tight and suffer, O still-proud owners of McGwire jerseys.

B: I'll cheers to that. And I'll even add in the Charlton Heston voice quoting "Cop Killer" to enhance my hatred for them. But since it is one of those seasons, let's move on. The Milwaukee Brewers. What, in God's name, has happened to this club since their mid-season run of excellent baseball that took off before and flourished after they acquired his Sabathianess? It's almost like they're trying to lose. Can they even save face and cling to that slimming shot at a wildcard?

Er, update...apparently Ned Yost has been fired.

C: Ah, nice call on Moses. I had forgotten all about that...

The Brew Crew. At one point this season I was legitimately worried that they'd catch us -- after all, they added one of the best pitchers in the game, their lineup is studded with quality bats and they have kids in giant sausage costumes racing around the diamond during the 7th inning stretch. That's a tough combo, there.

And then...it all just disintegrated. They couldn't have picked a worse time to have a losing streak -- as if there is ever a good time -- than they just did, because that was practically the only time all season that Chicago's division lead was vulnerable. But lo, they squandered their one chance, and now it's fire Ned Yost time.

They just don't have the pitching depth they need. And they aren't going to be able to keep Sabathia. Even with all the talent on that squad, I see them taking a dip next year. Way to waste your shot, Milwaukee.

B: True to it all. Hate to see a wasted shot for that club.

Finally, your Cubs. Their pitching has been great most all year, and their hitting, while spotty, has obviously managed to get the job done. There've obviously been plenty of reasons to support the speculation behind possible tankage, but now, in mid-September, they've cranked it up a teense, have won five in a row, and extended their division lead to nine games. Clearly, there's no way the Brewers could catch them now, so we'll go ahead and give them the division.

How do you see their post-season realistically shaking out?

C: It all depends on Zambrano and Harden -- simplistic, yes, but those two guys are their best starters and both have had health issues, Zambrano this year and Harden, well, always.

Assuming we can keep all of our fingers and toes crossed for another month or so, and Mr. Glass can maintain as he has been, I like their chances versus basically anybody. Of the potential playoff teams -- Mets, Phillies, Dodgers, Milwaukee or maybe Houston -- the only team that freaks me out is the Phillies, because of their sticks and that teensy bandbox they play in.

Soriano has really developed into a drink-stirrin' straw, Soto looks like a 10-year vet, D. Lee is a stud and they have quality role players throughout the order who come through in the clutch.

Man...I don't wanna jinx anything, but that's the chemistry of championship baseball: excellent pitching, an offense that isn't overly reliant on one or two guys and depth in the bullpen.

B: Got it. So, venture out on a limb and give me your NL playoff predictions up to, and including the Series.

C: NL East: Philadephia

NL Central: Chicago Cubs

NL West: LA Dodgers (Hi, Humberto!)

Wild Card: New York Mets. Let's just assume they don't turn into a folding card table again this year, although they might very well.

National League Division Series:

Cubs v. Mets, Cubs in 4 games.

Dodgers v. Phillies, Dodgers in 5.

National League Championship Series:

Cubs v. Dodgers, Cubs in 6.

World Series:

Cubs v. LA Angels (I just can't buy the Bay Rays. Sorry.), Cubs in 7 in a classic fall classic. The curse is lifted, the country erupts, Harry Caray rises from the dead and shows up on Blanche's doorstep to utter a "HOLY COW!"

B: And there you have it. Of our panelists who've made predictions, all three have included Los Anaheim in the Series. Two have included Halo victories, and now, one for the Gipper. Tune in just before the Cubs and Angels square off for our NL East installment. Yes, indeedy.
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