Fatlock Follies: Doin' It the Way We Don't Want You to Be Doin' It

I must admit, after years of professed bashing of The Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock, I've, in recent months, come around on him a bit. He's done some admirable work in the form of creating a message that black America should embrace for its youth, future generations, and its overall image. Kudos to him for making a stand.

That said, I'm not sure yet how I feel about his two-part interview with Chiefs' running back Larry Johnson. Check out said parts here and here.

Whitlock does touch on some of his race revolution (his words in the aftermath of the Scoop Jackson/ESPN Page 2/AOL fiasco that took place several months ago) ideas in his chat with Johnson, and Johnson responds to them in a way that would appear he's on board with some of Whitlock's thinking.

Johnson also admits he's been immature in the past, the recent past notwithstanding. He claims this holdout -- the one that hasn't even come close to happening yet -- is somewhat of a move that would launch him into an eschelon of maturity. For good. He all but promises that getting this contract will straighten him out for life. Clearly, easier said than done.

The beef I have with this whole deal -- I offered some prognostications over on Arrowhead Addict a few weeks ago -- is that Whitlock, while a journalist giving his audience a story that they actually want, is only fueling the fire for a situation that, as of yet, doesn't even exist.

Training camp is still more than a month away. I know contract talks are slow, agents and athletes are greedy, and GMs are stingy. It's still a month, though. And hell, it's only training camp. Guys miss camp (or parts of it) all the time. Recently retired Chiefs O-lineman Willie Roaf and Will Shields had flippin' permission to sit out of training camp so that they could save the battering of those big bones for when it counts.

Sure. Chiefs Head Coach Herman Edwards told the public shortly after he was hired that Johnson would be his guy, his leader on and off the field. Johnson has, on numerous occasions, said that he wants to lead by example, which is on the football field. In Whitlock's Q&A with Johnson, the star running back claims that he needs this contract to take care of himself in the future, to prevent finding himself in a situation like a number of former NFL stars: crippled (literally) and with no means of doing anything about it.

I get it. That's fine. The fellas at Kissing Suzy Kolber don't agree with this tactic, but hey.

Let's say that, in the 30+ days between now and River-Falls-departure time, Johnson's agent and Chiefs GM Carl Peterson haven't signed the dotted lines, and Johnson doesn't get on the bus bound for Wisconsin. Big deal. There's still buckets of time for a deal to get done before the season opens. Not a leaderish kind of move on Johnson's part, but insert whichever tag line you choose -- I'm going with the "blah, blah, blah, this is a business" one -- and life goes on.

Ultimately, there is no way in Michael Irvin's house hell that the Chiefs' featured back for the 2007 campaign is a guy not named Larry Johnson. End of story.

My colleague Old No. 7, in his new hideout Predominantly Orange, had some interesting ideas regarding Johnson, the franchise, and the situation. He's point on about most everything he writes. I'm not sure that I'd ever use the words "great," "Bill," and "Grigsby" in the same sentence, but that's cool.

The skinny on this non-existent situation is this: Whitlock's doing his job; Johnson, much like Priest Holmes, wants to get paid; Peterson must accurately manage the Hunt family's money; and Edwards will just float in the midst of the second entry here. The common thread is this: All of these characters want the Chiefs to win the Super Bowl.

Whitlock might not openly admit it, but he does. Peterson felt that bringing Edwards to coach the team, with Johnson as/at his back, was the best missing piece to get this unit operating together. And operate they will, regardless of scenarios the media wants to perpetrate by squeezing a story out of a young, stubborn, gifted-and-wealthy professional athlete who, by the way, set the all-time single-season record for carries just last year.

Johnson will get paid. Peterson will continue to gray. Whitlock will have to find another pot of sauce to stir.

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Tradition Tuesday: Those Who've Crossed Over (bum-buh-BUH)...to the Dark Side

Editor's Note: The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (heralded by Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (eked by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two vs. one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl ring we'll even out the delegation.

Seven years ago we started The Tradition, in which the Donkey fans traveled out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and Chiefs altruists returned to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives occasionally get assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's a grand old time.

Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition alive all year long with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

Warning: This topic may contain content offensive in nature. The weak of heart, stomach, or mind must beware that what follows is, in some degrees, completely inappropriate. I'm following my own advice. This material is in fact, disgusting. I washed my hands twice in between each of those four previous sentences.

It's understood that division rivals don't trade players amongst themselves. It'd be foolish to. If one plays for a team for five years and faces one particular foe at least 10 times, chances are that player will know the foe well, so why send one packing for the other side of the battlefield. Peculiar concepts like free agency and waivers, however, spice things up a bit. A number of past and present athletes have, at one time or another, played for both the Broncos and the Chiefs. The end result is always the same. The HoG staff gets Choncos in its Briefs.

It's hard to let it slide. Even with the passage of time. Let's have a look -- in no particular order except for biggest shitbag first, least last, middle according -- at some of these classless acts.

Neil Smith

For years, as a Kansas City Chief, #90 terrorized opposing offensive linemen, running backs and quarterbacks. Combined with this guy, the tandem flushed this guy out of the pocket and fed him grass-and-mud sandwiches on a semi-regular basis. And the world was at ease. The salary cap will be the salary cap, though, and the fearsome duo were split. Number 58 stayed on board, # 90 went west to the Dark Side. He would return, of course, following that whacky cyclical tendency of life, to his place of origin. In a post-season game no less. One in which the visiting team emerged victorious, #90 had his first sack since the introduction of the dandelion to North America, and Denver went on to...well, I can't remember what. Good times.

Keith Traylor

This guy made the switch twice. I can't even think of the fury his afterlife will hold. Assuming that is, that he grows old, retires from football, or dies. I'm so disgusted, I can say no more.

Glayy Cadrockett

These two ass clowns won championships under Greg Robinson, who gets a category all his own: Couche. Robinson is the only couche I'm aware of that has crossed over. The two players, however, don't get their own entries because they both won rings, then came to play for Robinson, and sucked balls right along with him. Nice job on that one, Dick.

Eddie Kennison

This one's still mildly fresh and sensitive, thus the neutral uni. I'd hate for any Bronco fans, or God forbid this guy, make the standard daily visit to the HoG, and leave infuriated. That would not rule.

There have certainly been others. It's a topic we can visit in the future. For now, suffice it to say that it's never fun. Except when it's funny, which is all the time.

These icons are like the Sphinx towers from "The Neverending Story," though. They ain't made to be crossed. Unless your name's Atreyu. And if it is, I'll bet you get your milk money stolen and your ass kicked on a regular basis. Read more