Friday, February 13, 2009

WAHCW: The Girls of SI Online 2009, Part III

We've never drug a WAHCW into two days, and we've obviously never stretched it to three. Attempts like this might be viewed as crazy, and therefore, we've felt the need to heighten our security around the ol' HoG headquarters. In case you're just tuning in, we started off this three-part series of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue on Wednesday. It was a small effort, but we made up for that yesterday, and we don't intend to change that today. Why? Because we care about you readers, and we, based on nothing whatsoever, assume that this is what you desire.

I mean, we're breaking the bank in the research department to give you snoozers of historical facts everyday, and now we're throwing in hockey coverage on top of that. This only aids us in drawing the conclusion that you're starved, HoGnation, for a bit of the good stuff, which as we all know, comes in the form of some of the world's most appealing talent in some of the world's smallest-yet-most-expensive beach garments. So, let's jump into the sand, and bring up the rear. Whaddaya' say?

Jarah Mariano

Miss Mariano, in all of her glorious 25 years of age,

comes from the tropical island of Kauai.

Her segment was shot in Canouan Islands,

Grenadines, where she was given a dazzling array of tops,

and she was capable of proving that she is in fact,

tops in every last one of them.

Damaris Lewis

Damaris is one of two 18-year old talents

in this year's edition. She comes from Brooklyn,

and was photographed on location in Cappadocia, Turkey,

where she made it clear that, like her home town, there's no sleep 'til...

Bar Refaeli

Bar Refaeli is this year's cover girl.

Though I'm unsure of how that honor is chosen,

I'm certain that she rightly joins the ranks

of those who've graced it before her.

Her exotic looks are the pride,

one might say,

of her native Israel.

She graces the magazine,

and most certainly its readers as well,

with her third appearance,

and on this occasion,

her images were captured in the Canouan Islands.

And for that, I'll put some extra Grenadine in my cocktails this evening.

Hilary Rhoda

Hilary comes from the land known as Chevy Chase, Maryland.

She's 21 years of age,

and like Miss Refaeli,

was on location in The Grenadines,

Canouan Islands,

were sitting Indian-style gets the stamp of approval,

as does an amazing brunette countenance,

or really anything she wants to do in the sand.

Brooklyn Decker

Brooklyn might be the most famous of this year's selection.

Having been linked to that one cap-wearing tennis dude,

Andy something-or-other,

I imagine some of her shots cast her as a close front-runner

to cover status. At 21, she comes from Middletown, Ohio,

and she travelled to Riviera Maya,

Quintana Roo, Mexico to model her wares.

Lucia Dvorska

Miss Dvorska is but 20.

She comes from western Slovakia,

and was in Cappadocia, Turkey for her session,

one I'd call a success of wrap-around stature, whatever that means.

Irina Shayk

My awe of Irina took some flack last year,

mostly because she was in competition, as it were,

with one Marissa Miller.

This year she is not, and so she closes our look at the girls of SI online

with a segment from Naples, Italy. She's 23, from Emangelnysk, Russia, and number two in my speed-dial, behind my wife of course.

And folks, that's a wrap on your extended-dance version of WAHCW. Hope you've enjoyed.