Sunday, December 14, 2008

Open Letter to the Lord Our God

I haven't asked for much this season, God. And you've delivered even less. But come with me, father of Jesus Christ, beyond the jump, to examine my last request. Well, my last request for today anyway...

Okay, it's kind of a combination request package, but I'll keep it simple.

1) One week from today, I need the Denver Broncos to lose when they host the Buffalo Bills at InVesCo Field at Mile High Stadium. On that same day, I need a San Diego Charger road win at Raymond James Stadium against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

2) The week after that, those two AFC West teams face off at Qualcomm Stadium. A Charger win on that day would be cooler than Easter. For real.

And that's it. You pick the scores; arrange them so that your fantasy team goes off, even. I don't care about attendance, or injuries, or anything beyond those results. That is, if you want to throw the above-pictured zebra into that game, that might be awesome, too. But if not, at least make it so this

comes up no less than five trillion times in the week leading up to the game. Thank you so much.

Your devout son,