Showing posts with label We're Gonna Beat the Hell Outta You. Show all posts
Showing posts with label We're Gonna Beat the Hell Outta You. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Getting To Know Your 2010 U.S. Men's Olympic Hockey Team: Phil Kessel



This installment puts us at about the halfway point in the forwards section of the feature. We're officially two weeks away from dropping the puck in Vancouver, and I won't say that this is the year for the U.S. Men to take home Olympic gold, but I'm much more hopeful than I was in '04. Ultimately, I don't care if flippin' Canadians are predicting that Canadians will take home more gold than anyone else. Help your freaking selves. You win that luge. You dominate that ice dancing. Best of luck to you in the snowboard competition. What I'm talking about is your sport. The one you invented. The one you've dominated at for so long. The one you won gold in in men's and women's hockey in 2002. In our country. Now we're comin' to your house. We're bringing a solid, energetic version of your game. And we, Canadia, plan on embarrassing you moose fuckers. Be advised.

Phil Kessel is one of the only fellas on this roster who's experienced a trade in his young career. In the 2006 NHL draft, he was taken in the first round (fifth overall) by the Boston Bruins. He spent three seasons in Beantown and amassed 126 points in that span. Unfortunately for him, he was then shipped up to Canada, and now he makes a living playing offense for the Toronto Maple Leafs. He has shown significant improvement with each successive season in the pros, and he's already more than halfway to season highs in goals, assists, and of course, points.

He matriculated at the University of Minnesota, but spent only one season as a Golden Gopher before being selected by the Bruins, and in his rookie season, he won the Bill Masterton Memorial (sportsmanship, perseverance, and dedication to hockey) Trophy. Kessel comes from an athletic family, as his pops was a Washington Redskins quarterback for a minute, his ma' ran her some track, he has a cousin and a brother in the NHL, and his sister can light the lamp as well. And by "light the lamp," I mean score. And by "score," I mean put some wood on it.
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Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Wednesday Whatnot: Twenty Days and Counting



The 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver will be underway before we know it, and I, for one, am freakin' pumped for some ice hockey, United-Fucking-States-of-America style. Granted, we're not gonna get mega-excited until the U.S. squad has advanced some, but know that the House of Georges will be bringing you extended coverage.

For example, the U.S. is in Group A, along with Switzerland, Norway, and Canadia. Group B includes Latvia, Slovakia, the Russian Federation (whatever the hell that means), and the 2006 bronze-medalist Czech Republic. In Group C we have Belarus, Germany, 2006 silver-medalist Finland, gold-medalist Sweden.

Your U.S. roster looks like so:

Defense:

•Brian Rafalski, 36 (Detroit Red Wings)
•Ryan Suter, 25 (Nashville Predators)
Paul Martin 28 (New Jersey Devils) Ryan Whitney, 26 (Anaheim Ducks)
Mike Komisarek, 28 (Toronto Maple Leafs) Tim Gleason, 27 (Carolina Hurricanes)
•Erik Johnson, 21 (St. Louis Blues)
•Brooks Orpik, 29 (Pittsburgh Pittsburgh)
•Jack Johnson, 23 (Los Angeles Kings)

Alternate Candidates:

- Matt Niskanen (Dallas)
- Ron Hainsey (Atlanta)
- Alex Goligoski (Pittsburgh)
- Matt Carle (Philadelphia)
- Rob Scuderi (Los Angeles)


Forwards:

•Zach Parise, 25 (New Jersey Devils)
•Chris Drury, 32 (New York Rangers)
•Dustin Brown, 25 (Los Angeles Kings)
•Jamie Langenbrunner, 34 (New Jersey Devils)
•Paul Stastny, 24 (Colorado Avalanche)
•David Backes, 25 (St. Louis Blues)
•Patrick Kane, 21 (Chicago Blackhawks)
•Phil Kessel, 22 (Toronto Maple Leafs)
•Ryan Kesler, 25 (Vancouver Canucks)
•Bobby Ryan, 22 (Anaheim Ducks)
•Joe Pavelski, 25 (San Jose Sharks)
•Ryan Malone, 31 (Tampa Bay Lightning)
•Ryan Callahan, 24 (New York Rangers)

Alternate Candidates:

- Jason Pominville (Sabres)
- David Booth (Panthers)
- Scott Gomez (Canadiens)
- T.J. Oshie (Blues)
- Brian Gionta (Canadiens)

Goaltenders:

•Tim Thomas, 35 (Boston Bruins)
•Ryan Miller, 29 (Buffalo Sabres)
•Jonathan Quick, 24 (Los Angeles Kings)

Alternate Candidate:

- Craig Anderson (Colorado)

There you have it, and so mark your calendars, kids: Tuesday, February 16 at 2 p.m. Central, it's Switzerland as the home team, your U.S. squad the visitors. Game. Fucking. On.
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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Tradition Tuesday: It Is, In Fact, On

The rough focus of this blog has been officially renewed. We've been gabbing for (damn near) two years now about who belongs to what fan base, and how we frequent one anothers' stadiums in a seemingly endless chamber of road torture. Yes we have a blast doing it, and yes we occasionally let the wives ruin our fun, and yes, our two football clubs have been forever etched into the archives as giant buckets of suck since the birth of the House of Georges. You must of course consider the source for that last phrase, in that in both 2007 and 2008, the Denver Broncos netted themselves seven victories per season. No matter which of those two campaigns you pick, however, the total of wins in either is more than the Chiefs scraped together for both years combined. So, it's fair to say that we both sucked because neither of us qualified for the post-season, let alone won a championship. Denver, however, at least acted like they rode the 36-passenger bus and were in contention in both Decembers. Kansas City, on the other hand, saw its franchise, fan base, and players become caricatures of themselves (Editor's Note: I just spent 20 minutes I really don't have looking for an image to enhance that phrase; I couldn't find one, but I'd be a horse's ass if I didn't throw up this one.), and Herman Edwards whittle his way into the esteemed title of worst bloach in history. No, no. I actually mean that. But the epitomal dust from that shitstorm has settled, and the Kansas City Chiefs are in fact, gettin' the band back together.

Now, I'm certain that my colleagues might be inclined to say things like, "Which band is that? The Non-Playoff All-Stars? The one that does solely covers and charges 20 bucks at the door? Or are you referring to the Model-T Explosion that rehearses classics from the Big Band Era, and celebrates womens' suffrage?" Yes, yes. A million laughs as always. I feel pretty confident that the message is clear: This is a new era in Chiefs football. And I'd be amiss if I didn't acknowledge that the same is true out in Colorado. Before we examine the newest of differences between our two clubs though, let's take a one-time look at the commonality that kicked off these rebirths: Foxboro.

We know of allegations that Chiefs GM Scott Pioli (Note: Christ it feels good to type a new name behind that.) wanted Coach Doogie to run his team, but the guy that runs KFC got him first. We also know of allegations that Denver was interested enough in Matt Cassel to seriously consider trading Jay Cutler. That pair of allegations, along with the new faces in both franchises, ties both clubs to New England, but let's get one thing straight: Dudes from successful franchises get hired by other franchises to replicate their success elsewhere all the freaking time. No one is here to deny that what the Patriots have been and done in this decade has been phenomenal. No one is here to strip the club of rings or trophies. In fact, no one's here to say you can't apply the D-word to the organization that just saw its franchise quarterback wed his woman in what I guess you might call a formal wedding gown. But make no mistake: If you, or your buddies, or your cousins, or your cousins' buddies ever say, or even think the phrase "Patriot Way," you are officially gayer than the never-conceived child of Liberace and Elton John. Look, it's fine if Pioli and Doogie say it. They have the right to. I don't even care if Cassel is quoted as saying it (Note: Check out his wife, by the way.) But you, common (while still awesome for visiting our site) football fan: Consider yourself warned.

There. Now that that's out of the way, I really only have a few bits to offer. Some are retarded, like the fact that two days removed from the weekend, some dillhole has already taken this Web domain name, and actually done work to it. Or the fact that some folks insist that less-than-ethical principles were involved in the Cassel-to-KC trade. There's really only one thing that can be said about each scenario. Regarding Denver's mere involvement in trade possibilities, Old No. 7 already hit every last nail on every last head. Shut your mouth, kid. You get paid to throw the football, not fornicate with the media like a Speer Boulevard hooker. As for the KC end of things, well, another Denver dude said exactly what I was pondering a few short hours ago on the TalkRadios. Adam Schefter was on KCSP 610 AM this morning talking to Chris and Cowboy. And what he said was roughly this two-fold summary: Shipping Mike Vrabel and Cassel to the Chiefs frees up approximately 20 million salary-cap dollars for New England and a second-round pick also saves you money in that you don't owe a first-round contract to a player in this year's draft who might not be worth such a fat paycheck. There are also free-agency stipulations, and while I don't precisely understand them, the basic idea is that a second-rounder buys you more time before a third-rounder or a first-rounder is eligible for a new deal. Now, without more concrete details and rules to back that up, that sounds stupid. But there are two things we can likely agree on: 1) Schefter knows his shit, and 2) Bill Belichick is not stupid. I think we can also agree that Belichick would not do any opponent any favors under any circumstances.

Schefter also added that Belichick likely knew that he was going to deal Cassel no matter what, and that he had to move quickly to get the thing completed, and completed in a satisfactory fashion. It's plausible that the negotiations with the Chiefs were his best offer at that point in the weekend. It's also plausible that Belichick has a rough idea of who will be on New England's board come the second round of next month's draft.

When Chiefs Chairman Clark Hunt announced the resignation of Carl Peterson, he indicated that his search for Peterson's replacement would be one that hinged on locating a "shrewd evaluator of football talent." Pioli wound up being that guy. A couple of weeks ago, KCSP's Neal Jones was in Indianapolis for the NFL Combine. He interviewed Pioli, and asked him a two-part question regarding Cassel that went something like this: Do you think that Matt Cassel is a good quarterback because of what he accomplished as a starter in 2008 or would you say that Matt Cassel is a good quarterback because of the system in which he played last year? Pioli's response: "I would say that Matt Cassel is a good quarterback."

Thus, if Pioli is in fact a shrewd evaluator of football talent, and Pioli worked with Belichick, and Belichick is the supposed brains behind the New England trust, then neither one of these guys is going to wait for other teams to get the better of them. They know what they want, and they pull the trigger when the time is right. You could also add this sentiment to the mix: Denver and Tampa Bay are, based on last year's records, better clubs than the Chiefs, which makes them a riskier foe to whom you deal someone from your roster. Detroit, while just barely worse than Kansas City, has the number one overall pick in the draft, a spot Belichick might not want based perhaps on dollars involved and this year's crop of college athletes. Though I'm not 100 percent certain how, I imagine that both sides were content with the deal. Otherwise it doesn't happen.

What I am sure of is the new blood pumping through both House of Georges teams. And as Seven indicated via a clever tag in yesterday's post, "Oh it's on, motherfucker." It is, in fact, on.
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