Oh My God

No matter what you think of the competitive balance in the AFC West, it is absolutely Number One in the NFL in one area: hilariously shitty free agency decisions.

Yesterday we went over the completely uninspiring record of the Chiefs and the Broncos thus far. Out in San Diego, where another division title is all but assured, they're asleep at the wheel as well. Instead of actively improving their teams with the talent available on the market, these three clubs are sitting on their hands.

The same can not be said of the Oakland Raiders, who made one good but overpriced move (Gibril Wilson for $36 mil, $16 mil guaranteed) and two spectacularly bad ones. First it was giving Tommy Kelly fifty million dollars and $18 mil in guarantees. Who's Tommy Kelly? I'll get to it, give me a minute. No, seriously, who is Tommy Kelly? Fuck off--the punch line is forthcoming, asshole!

Now they've gone and snagged ex-Bronco Javon Walker for--actually, let's go to House of Georges "Chief" NFL Correspondent Adam Schefter for this one:

...a stunning six-year, $55 million deal that includes $27 million in the first three years, including $16 million guaranteed. The deal is staggering when you consider the contract the record-setting Randy Moss received from the New England Patriots on Monday: $27 million over three years...

Thanks Adam, your service to this country is appreciated. Now, honestly, who is Tommy Kelly?

There are rumors currently circulating that Isaiah Thomas has secretly overtaken the Oakland Raiders front office. This is entirely plausible. At the very least the week that the Raiders have put together is in the same class as the offseason when the Seattle Mariners signed Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson for a combined $114 million.

The good news is that as insane as Al Davis and his lackeys are for making these deals, the fan base of Raider Nation is just as sidewalk-licking crazy. Christopher Perales, you sir are nuts. To wit:

my initial thoughts are that this signing is a good one

Ok then, Chris. The guy that I'm really happy for is Javon Walker, who has gone from obscenely wealthy to lighting-cigars-with-hundred-dollar-bills loaded. I thought he'd be lucky to get a one-year, $5 million deal, but I failed to factor in the complete senility of Al Davis. Congratulations, Javon. Perhaps I should say similarly disparaging things about my employer and then send a resume to Oakland.

Coming tomorrow: Who Is Tommy Kelly? A Career In Focus.

Update: That's not true. We have no idea who Tommy Kelly is.

Second Update: Holy cow, I guess he has a Wikipedia page. I suppose if you sign the largest contract for a DT in league history you may want one of those. We'll look and see if it was created yesterday... Read more

Model Citizen

This guy is the apple of the American eye. He works for free, makes time for children, and frequently drapes his parka across threatening puddles that feeble old women must cross. Clean as the snow indeed. Except for this small stain of Eskimo pee. If you don't have a New York Times account, and can't access the page, allow me to assist:

N.F.L. Investigates Shanahan Lie

The National Football League is
investigating whether Denver Coach Mike Shanahan broke a rule when he lied about
quarterback Jake Plummer's injury in San Diego on Sunday.

The Broncos
initially said Plummer sustained a concussion in the second quarter of their
37-13 victory over the Chargers. After the game, Shanahan announced that Plummer
had separated his right shoulder.

Shanahan said he lied because the
Chargers would have had an advantage if the backup Steve Beuerlein had been
injured and Plummer had been forced to re-enter the game. Denver carries two
quarterbacks on its roster.

The league spokesman Greg Aiello said the
league expected injury information to be as accurate as possible. Rules for
reporting injuries during games are not as specific as pregame injuries, which
require a designation: out, doubtful, questionable or probable. Shanahan could
be fined if the league determines he broke a rule. (AP)

And this.

And, well, I suppose there's this, too. Other than that though, the guy's practically the 13th disciple.
Read more