...that we must remember to not unleash the power o' the jinx. If memory serves, I think this fine saloon is somewhere in the KC metro. I'll be sure to not frequent it very soon.
(props to Arrowhead Pride for the story link)
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Let me tell you: There's nothing like touring a new professional-sports facility in the freezing rain with 25-mph wind gusts. Today was the open house out at Kauffman Stadium, where fans could come tour the facility and see all of the new features, renovations, and if so desired, take a few crappy pictures with a digital camera they don't know how to use. Details, post jump.
It was nice to finally see the crown atop the scoreboard. I'll say that much. And it was nice to see the various amenities like the Party Deck and the Hall of Fame and the Pine Tar Pub. It was a bit odd that beyond the outfield, there's a merry-go-round, miniature golf, a playground, a batting cage, and a base-running area, all adjacent to the Little K. I mean we are still going out to the park to watch the game, right?
Well, I am, anyway. And I'm left with a couple of feelings about tomorrow:
1) I'm glad that the tax-payers of Jackson County voted in favor of the renovations because the organization felt that they were necessary. To me, Kauffman Stadium was fine how it was; it's one of the handsomest parks in the country, but there was a sense that the Royals wanted to update, to upgrade, to modernize, and the facility certainly has that feel now. Perhaps the biggest change for the average game attendee is the mammoth difference in concourse width, especially on the lower level behind the home-plate sections. Feels weird, like it's not even the same stadium, but I suppose that was necessary so that all us drunken hillibillies and our 300-pound sisters with whom we fornicate.
2) This is not the same baseball team, so it's fitting that the digs are a bit new. Some of that is hype, but I also think that the Royals have a fair shake at being competitive in this division in 2009. Will they win it? It's probably a long shot. But I'm excited to see more run production, and am confident that they will build upon last year's 75 wins. 
I haven't been this excited about the season starting since, well, one year ago today. Let's. Play. Ball.
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The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (heralded by Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (championed by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two versus one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl win we'll even out the delegation.
Seven years ago we started The Tradition, in which Bronco fans travel out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and Chief lovers return to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives are occasionally assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's a grand old time.
Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition going with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.
Well, there you have it. The first installment of The Tradition has come and gone, the results of which proved Old No. 7 write: nothing shy of ugly. Granted, for himself and the witty Cecil, the end result was nice, it was still an awful game in most every sense of the word. The contest, if you care to call it that, that is.
Regardless of a mildly late start (compliments of DfromKC), we made it to Arrowhead and had our coals going by a few minutes after nine.
In a fit of fear of el huevo grande I imagined the Chiefs might lay, my uninspiration to concoct a menu for the afternoon trickled into the cuisine preparation. Perhaps sensing the upcoming Denver success, Seven obliged us with a pilfered recipe for some delicious brats that we talentfully drowned in Pabst (both pan and gut). While the company to our north left much to be desired, all else in the lot was grand: nice day, pigskin tossing, pre-game music, etc.
It was when we entered the stadium that the suck threatened to unleash. We did enjoy seats in the closest vicinity to the field either of us had ever experienced, and we did have the pleasure of watching a large Priest Holmes-jersey-laden man with a hair sweater strip repeatedly and fondle his nipples in a near Oscar-worthy Fat Bastard impersonation several rows in front of us. We also had the privilege of having a massive prick tell us off (with F-bombs) in front of his 14-year-old son for talking during the halftime show. His shrewdly accurate assumption that we were the only ones talking (in the entire stadium) during said ceremony didn't spark fits of sarcastic comments from any of us. None whatsoever.
Alas, the match itself. We all know the highlights:
An 8-6 Chiefs lead at halftime (Editor's Note: This was only slightly more obnoxious than their 6-0 lead at halftime in Denver last year -- bonus points for the safety, hampered, however by lack of touchdowns); wrath of the boobirds for little-to-no defensive production and a shaky start at best for the man under center; the successes of Brandon Marshall and Selvin Young; the prowess of Jay Cutler in that he played through injury and became the first Broncos QB to win at Arrowhead in his first start since pre-HFCD days); the abundance of yellow flags littering the field; and finally, the turnovers.
It was downright awful.
We at the HoG is well aware that every club has its bad games, but this contest spelled out something much greater: The Broncos have been barely better than terrible this year, and they were ripe for the Chiefs to humiliate them. Only it was the home club that hung its collective head in shame. Their offense, regardless of a nice rushing display from Holmes, is decrepit; the D takes large steps toward progression, then falters; and the offensive line will likely be responsible for an injury to the recently appointed-as-starter Brodie Croyle. This of course will mean that Damon Huard will be called upon once more.
I've shunned any notions of rebuilding since last year's playoff debacle in Indianapolis. I suppose it's only fitting that facing Indy once more brings the ugly truth of reality full circle.
Good times, I say. Good. Times.
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So here we are. The House of Georges has matriculated to Arrowhead Stadium, site of the NFL's best rivalry*. We've sampled some of the finest meats and cheeses available at retail prices, we've ingested enough Pabst to pollute neighboring counties with toxic flatulence, and now we're ready for some God damned football. Banky and I fired up our old warhorse of a game preview and renewed hostilities. Let's keep it clean out there.
*It's possible this is not true.
Old No. 7: So here we are, in the midst of the Week Of Shit (patent pending) leading up to The Tradition (registered trademark) and Sunday’s Chiefs-Broncos game at Arrowhead. It’s been my feeling for some time now that this game is a flat-out waste of precious time and that neither of these teams are going anywhere this year. But in the past couple days, two thoughts have entered my mind:
1. As miserable as they’ve looked this season, the Denver Broncos may not actually be that bad. They’ve lost to five solid teams—San Diego (4-4), Indianapolis (7-1), Jacksonville (5-3), Green Bay (7-1) and Detroit (6-2). They beat Buffalo on the road, and the Bills are actually playing well—after that heartbreaking loss to Dallas they’ve won three straight. They beat the Raiders, who are lousy but a different kind of feisty lousy than last year. And they beat Pittsburgh, a city full of registered sex offenders and a team that is on the fringes of elite status in the NFL.
A few breaks and they could be in first place. And if they could consistently play the kind of motivated, physical ball they did against the Steelers, they could actually win this division.
Of course, this is all a moot point. The entire league is miles behind the Colts and Patriots. In no scenario is this Bronco team going to beat either Indy or New England on the road in January. No one, outside of Pittsburgh or maybe San Diego, is. It’s a two-team NFL, and in my opinion a good year to take your lumps, suck hard and rebuild. Which brings me to:
2. One of the toughest things to do as a fan is accept and even embrace struggggling. When is it OK to throw in the towel and actually hope for a tank job? I’ll be the first to stand up and say that now is not that time, for either of these teams. The division title is still in reach, even if it means a blowout embarrassment in the playoffs.
But looking at the long-term health of the Broncos franchise, you can see some merit in this weak, beat-up team losing and duking it out with Oakland for the cellar, rather than winning and joining the Chefs and Bolts at 4-5 (assuming the Colts best the Chargers on Sunday) in the Clusterfuck .500 (copyright or not, that phrase is mine).
I’ll admit, I’m spoiled as a Bronco fan and not very used to this predicament. It’s been a long time since I even thought about draft position or playing the young guys at this point of a season. What’s it like, KC fan? And, in your opinion, are these Broncos worthy of this discussion yet—or is there still hope?
Bankmeister: It's like this: Being in this predicament blows. Granted, it's not much better sitting at 1-6 or 2-5 while the rest of your rivals flaunt success. Thing is, in that scenario, you sort of have already taken your lumps, your expectations aren't high, so you take pride in little things that might pan out down the road (some future season, hopefully the next). The problem with treading amidst the CF5 is that the teeniest, tiniest mistakes cost you everything. They make you madder, feel certain that you could do better coaching this team and you want everyone canned from the front office on down. So you move, ala the HoG staff, to hoping at least your enemies suffer, and when they don't, you drink your sorrows away, kick the dog and beat the wife. And life sucks.
Regarding the Broncos, I can't dismiss that, aside from Jason "last-minute savior" Elam, this team could be freaking winless. It's really hard to fathom that, too, given the consistent excellency you so boast of, and rightfully so. And, even though 10-win Kitna is on pace to live up to his prediction, I can't believe the absolute drubbing you guys suffered in Motown. So, at this point, I don't think the Broncos are worthy of playoff discussion. But, I do think Cutler will continue to improve, Marshall will return to form with the return of Walker, and el Raton always figures something out for the running game.
Back to the other hand, though. I cannot believe the Denver defense is sitting at 32nd in the league right now. That's embarrassing for a fan of an AFC West team, even a rival. All AFC West teams have always been led by defense (Seahawks excluded for the most part) and I can't even pinpoint an ounce of what's happened to this team these past couple years.
Old No. 7: Well, all these questions get to the heart of why these Broncos are 3-5 to begin with. First off, the defense, and why it’s ranked D.F.L. in the N.F.L: it’s a long story. It all began with the decision to cut ties with Trevor Pryce a couple years back—the line has never recovered from the loss of his powerful play. The continual regression of John Lynch with no young help has been rough. And the big blow, of course, is the subtraction of Al Wilson’s leadership from the defense. Champ and “D’r’e’ ‘B”l”y’ have been hobbled by injuries this season, but everyone has injuries. The Broncos can’t tackle, and their awful run defense forces them to leave the corners exposed too often. And they can’t get to the passer. Other than that, everything’s peachy.
And for them to improve, you’re counting on many things happening that probably won’t. Jay Cutler may not improve much this season after all. Brandon Marshall is a flaming infectious virus of me-first shitbaggery who needs to get back in line. The guy’s immensely gifted, but his attitude needs to come down several dozen pegs.
That running game may never be seen. The O-line is a broken, virtually condemned structure right now. Let’s look at the state of the big uglies in the middle of 2007:
LT-Matt Lepsis’ Cinderella run, the career that sent him from coed-groping CU tight end to Pro Bowl-caliber blindside protector, may quickly be grinding to a stop. As our old compadre Commissioner Hercules pointed out this week (LINK), Lepsis has sucked with valor and distinction this year. Colossal flop George Foster, drafted to eventually replace Lepsis, is currently sucking in Detroit Rock City. I had high hopes for Ryan Harris, the Notre Dame product taken in this year’s draft, but he has yet to see the field this year.
LG-Chris Kuper is quite possibly the worst starting offensive lineman in the league. It’s not his fault. He shouldn’t be starting, but multiple injuries have forced the issue. He should be busting kids for truancy or selling asparagus, not pretending to block for a living.
C-Chris Myers, for a brief time, held Kuper’s title of worst starting offensive lineman in the league. He’s now merely second worst, but he currently blows at an entirely different position. After filling in poorly for Ben Hamilton, who’s out for the year, Myers is now manning the middle for Tom Nalen, who’s out for the year. At least he didn’t slap the ball out of our quarterback’s hand at the goal line last week.
RG-Montrae Holland, a free agent who flew under the radar last offseason, is the lone bright spot. Way to go, ace.
RT-Erik Pears is a difficult guy to assess. On one hand, he’s a horrible, horrible player. One the other, he did matriculate at Colorado State, not that bastion of sin and vomit in Boulder. So I’ll give him a partial pass. He is really good at holding, which is preferable to the Lepsis technique of not trying and allowing your quarterback to get murdered.
How do you feel about your team right now?
Bankmeister: Regarding the Chiefs, the frustration of flopping from good O/bad D to the reverse is hair-pulling to say the least. It drives me insane to lead the league in punts and three-and-outs. It really does. It shows Herm's true side and we all know that's ugly. Furthermore, I'm sick of him standing on the sidelines doing absolutely nothing. It churns the very innards of my stomach to no end.
I think they've rebounded well from the beatdown they suffered at the hands of the Texans on opening day, and the subsequent loss to the Bears. The loss to Jacksonville was tough, but I half expected it after they dominated your club at AmInCap. Finally, I thought we'd best Fah-vuh-ruh and have a huge head of steam to host your Donks. The way that fourth quarter, check that, the whole game, unfolded was a bitter, bitter pill to swallow.
You say this game will suck. I say it will be fun and hard-fought. No matter the scenario, these teams get up for one another and take their hatred out for one another in the trenches and in the end zones. I say the winner takes a huge step towards division title bragging rights as it will be a huge, huge win. San Diego, as the Chiefs proved, are beatable, and the Raiders, as you say, are still a few steps away. You're correct in the assumption that neither team is fit to take on the Colts or Pats.
The Lone Reader disagrees. He says two calculated late hits on Tom Brady deep in their territory is all it will take to shatter his confidence, and he doesn't have that great of pass protection anyway. Of course, TLR says he would never advocate this, but is doing so now because of the cheating allegations. How do you feel about such an approach?
Would you promote such a tactic if you wound up division winners and you had to do something ugly to Chesnning or Dreamboat? If so, where do you draw the line?
Old No. 7: Look, I think it will be an evenly matched and potentially very entertaining game. But we could take in any high school contest and have that. It doesn’t mean it will be good, well-played football. This ain’t intramurals, brother.
I hate to continually reference a game that received a nauseating amount of hype, but I have to go back to the Colts-Pats game last week. That, my friend, was Division 1 football. The level that those two teams played at was stunning. Even the mistakes that Brady and Manning made revealed excellence, as no one else has been able to pressure either quarterback this season. After watching lots of AFC West “action” this season, that game was like dining on Arby’s for a year and then going to a Ruth’s Chris.
As for wiping out Brady, Big Daddy Drew over at Kissing Suzy Kolber has been advocating the strategy all season. He’s even offered a bounty. Speaking of, Drew has been absolutely killing it lately. Do you regularly peruse the Jamboroo?
As funny as all that is, I can’t condone the cheap shot, even if it would mean the end of Dreamboat’s season and actually make the rest of the NFL watchable again. You have to play within the rules or you yield the moral high ground to guys like Bill Belichick. Bill Belichick would kidnap your child and eat his skin if it meant scoring three more points against Baltimore. You really want to do things his way?
Now if someone else were to do the dirty work, however, that would be a different story. Let’s say convicted criminal Jared Allen were to play through the echo of the whistle and decapitate Dreamboat some Sunday. Now I would consider this a despicable act and would sternly rebuke him. But I would do so while grinning from ear to ear and high-fiving whatever citizen was closest to me.
I personally think that football has become way, way too pussified for my taste. The fact that no one has ever fucking drilled Terrell Owens during his entire career is embarrassing. Everybody hates that guy, he’s out there running around on a football field every week, and no one cleans his clock and takes a flag. Week. In hockey, if you get out of line you may have to drop the gloves and defend yourself. In baseball, if you’re a pain in the ass you may take one in the ribs. Yet football, the most violent and awesome gore-fest of all, is free of vendettas and after-the-whistle shenanigans. And that is bullshit.
Bankmeister: Right. Naturally, I agree with that philosophy. I thought I’d just introduce TLR’s perspective. While I don’t like it, I do. And I thought it was pretty rad that he called it a solid week before Bill Cowher did. To clarify, I’d much rather stake victory the right and appropriate way. I’d also like to see Owens take one over the middle that results in a crushed xiphoid process. Like 14 times in a half.
Regarding KSK, I’ve seen the Dreamboat bounty posts, but I haven’t read them. I tend to find Pats coverage tedious and dry. I’ve noticed The Jamboroo deals on Deadspin, but haven’t paid them much attention. Typically, if there ain’t boobs, I ain’t interested. He still remains the best KSK writer bar none, though.
That was a good assessment of your line, though. Ours, as I’ve discussed ad nauseum, is equally atrocious, specifically the right side. Beyond that, I can’t really finger what the solution(s) is(are) for the Chiefs to have more immediate success. What are your thoughts on the Chiefs? Are they lucky to sit where they are, or can they be considered as legitimate potential division winners?
Old No. 7: I try my darndest not to watch KC too much, I find it leaves me with a loose stool and itchy armpits. What I’ve seen, though, leaves me a little surprised. The defense is has definitely improved in every game of Coach Herman’s tenure, and Jared Allen is a legitimate force. A drunken lunatic force at that. D-Bowe looks to be the real deal, but it’s next to impossible to assess young receivers.
You’ll never do anything with the current QB situation, though. I know Damon is an able manager of a game plan, but with the deficiencies elsewhere on the offensive side of the ball (line, injury to LJ) you need more than the school of Huard Knocks. I suppose that the Chiefs could sneak in at 9-7 and edge out the Chargers for the division, but I haven’t seen their remaining schedule.
Bankmeister: Back to what matters, though. This game. Let’s have a round of predictions for Sunday:
Bankmeister: Broncos 22, Chiefs 12
Cecil: Chiefs 20, Broncos 13
DfromKC: Chiefs 19, Broncos 14
Old No. 7: Broncos 8, Chiefs 4 (all safeties)
Rustoleum: Broncos 45, Chiefs 5
TLR: Chiefs 17, Broncos 10
Waveland22: Broncos 24, Chiefs 23
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