Saturday Studmuffins: JoePos

I think this is only the second time we've tossed an SS up on the podium that's not an athlete, which, as a newspaper kind of guy, makes me wonder: Would the game be that entertaining if you couldn't read about it in the next morning's edition? Writers like Joe Posnanski make the answer to that question seem like a definite "no." And for the record, if you aren't familiar with this literal word machine who kicks out the language jams for The Kansas City Star, Sports Illustrated, in book form, and online, well, you should forget about it now, or move to Winnipeg and devote all of your waking hours to catching up on this guy's archives. Hell, I sometimes struggle (Editor's Note: Point in case?) to craft the opening graf to a post, but let's stay on the track, the brief track that you can catch after the jump.

Alright, look: If you're not checking in on Pos' blog on at least a weekly basis, you're doing yourself a disservice. Really, pretty much everything over there is fantastic, but if you have a short attention span and don't like clicking your mouse, here's a quick top five.

Number Five: My favorite JoeWord

The Gloaden Rule:
1. Use Ross Gload correctly, he will help your team win games.
2. Use Ross Gload incorrectly, he will get you fired.

Number Four: A Fascinating Quick Read on Carlos Beltran

Number Three: This isn't really from the site, but you can pre-order a copy of his latest book, The Machine (slated for an August release), here. The book, by the by, is about the 1975 Reds. Those guys weren't bad.

Number Two: This one's kind of a two-fer. Over on the SIs, Pos' and Bill James are toying with the idea of doing a weekly exchange. They gave it a whirl here, and their conversation is about Randy Johnson and 300-game winners. A must read. And if you like it, here's an awesome way of thinking about 300-game winners.

Number One: Anyone that posts a YouTube ciip that pokes fun of their own hometown to their blog is alright by me. I think I've seen this before, but I might've stumbled across it during a Grey Goose and meth bender. Hard to tell.



That's today's SS.
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We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Girls We Know, Girls We Don't, Part Deux

Hey, how's it goin'. Just like that, there's a ton circulating the MyTubes. So much so that it would appear we're busy out there in the CyberQuarters of the HoG. Rest assured, we are. Old No. 7 found that fat, juicy vein and has done gone and stuck himself full of stickball, to the point of jeopardizing his job and marriage. And the season hasn't even started yet. Alright, fine. There've been some stupid games in Japan in the middle of the night, and television satellite companies bobbled that routine fly in the glare of the Tokyo sun, but whatever.

And Cecil's outright holed himself up in a shanty, poring over self-compiled stacks of college football athlete statistics while urinating on semi-glossies of Mel Kiper, Jr. all the while. Meantime, I just keep the ol' orbs peeled for Chiefs/Broncos news with which to delight y'all precious readers. I haven't anything of that sort today, but, after the jizzy, there's some quality readin'. I promise.

Talent We Don't Know From Adam (but might like to, maybe)

Veronika Fasterova



The House of Georges has never officially heard of Miss Fasterova, but even so, we're considering putting her on the payroll for a new, no-tan-lines brand of sun oil we haven't yet invented. 'Cause we're schmoove like that.

Aria Giovanni



Aria Giovanni isn't just a household name, we're aware. We also acknowledge her ability to mimic statues, accent bathrooms, and, uh raise the awareness of our "audiences."

Bianca Beauchamp



Believe it or not, I made out with a couple of redhead sisters (Editor's Note: No, not at the same time, cruel, cruel world.) named Beauchamp (Bee-chem, as it were) in high school. They were wild. They may've been oiled up, even. But they never made that face at me. Nor did they display their top shelf in such a fashion. And I do mean fashion.

Jenny McClain



Never laid eyes on this young lady before. Nor have I ever seen a swimsuit of that variety. I'm glad now, though, that I have on both accounts.

Girls We May've Had Over For Dinner (but likely not)

Brooke Belle



I do believe Miss Belle has been featured on the HoG before. I can't recall in what capacity, but I had a hunch it was time to saddle up again. Count it!

Amanda Wright



Same goes for the lovely Amanda. What can I say? I'm a sucker for tattoos. And navel piercings. And blondes. And lingerie. And seductive head-cocked looks while leaning against wooden door frames. Oh. I guess boob freckles are pretty okay, too.

Lucy Pinder



Everyone knows Lucy Pinder. Even if there's only 1/3 of her to go around, Inspector Gadget would still say "Yow-zahs." And so do we.

Meghan Allen



See aforementioned text regarding Miss Wright. Minus all the jib jab, of course.

Michelle Marsh



Wherever there's a Lucy Pinder, a Michelle Marsh isn't far behind. Sometimes they're together, and slightly less clad, but hey -- we're trying to stay classy, YouSpaces.

Rebecca Romijn



I know I know her from somewhere, but every time I try to remember, that pesky sand distracts me. Stupid beaches.

Regina Deutinger



Those nerdy enough to monitor where traffic comes from on places like these here Houses of Georges, know that findings would suggest that we owe the dazzling Regina 3/4 of our income. Too bad for her that equals a hearty handful of stale, fake Easter grass.

Scarlett Johansson



This broad's been in some movies, a few YourHubs sites, and occasionally lands the one spot on Mr. Ufford's blog.

Girls We Have Slight Issues With (but some may substitute "Fetishes" for "Issues"

Gemma Atkinson



I've always had a thing for Gemma.



I can't decide if it's the sultry stares,



the gorgeous smiles, or, uh, something else. Either way, she's aces in my book.

Marissa Miller



Last but not least



is this year's SI cover girl.



Yes. She's amazing.



And, I felt compelled to include her, a five-spot no less,



since Cecil and TLR lost their flippin' minds here.

Thanks for stoppin' by. We'll do it again soon.

(Images courtesy of Gorilla Mask, Daily Niner, and that handy Googlage.)
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