The HoG25: The Best 25 Running Backs of the Past 25 Years, Part II

Glad you could make it. Follow the link for the top of the top running backs. If you missed Part I, it's here.

9. Terrell Davis

Cecil: Terrell Davis

8. Thurman Thomas

bankmeister: Thurman Thomas was a Cowboy. An Oklahoma State Cowboy. He finished school in 1987, and the Buffalo Bills scooped him up in the second round of the draft. He spent 12 years (one final, nine-game season in Miami) in that uniform, and amassed more than 16,000 yards from scrimmage. Thomas managed an impressive eight consecutive years where he rushed for 1000+ yards, and in total, he scored 65 rushing touchdowns. Fourteenth all-time in career rushing yards, Thurman Thomas finds himself just above John Riggins, O.J. Simpson, and a game or two’s worth of yardage behind Marcus Allen.

There wasn’t anything particularly impressive about Thomas’ running style. He wasn’t flashy, but he was your textbook, north/south, between-the-tackles, pound-it-down-your-throat kind of ball carrier. What was impressive about Thomas was that he could do that game after game, year after year, seldom missing a start, while, at the same time, putting together admirable receiving (an average of 47 catches a season during that eight-year stretch) numbers.

In total, Thomas found the end zone nearly 90 times in his career, he made Pro Football’s Hall of Fame in 2007 after being a finalist the previous season, and like so many of the Bills of that era, you have to give them credit for continuing to come out and compete in the 1994 season (1442 total yards and nine scores for Thomas), having lost four consecutive Super Bowls.

Thurman Thomas, gentleman, scholar, Hall of Famer, and one of the best tailbacks of the last two and-a-half decades.

7. LaDainian Tomlinson

Old No. 7: LDT

6. Marcus Allen

Old No. 7: Marcus Allen

5. Curtis Martin

Cecil: The theme of Curtis Martin’s career started off being “well, he’s not as good as Terrell Davis.” If you’re an NFL running back and that’s the worst thing they say about you, you’re doing it right. Unlike Davis, Martin was no footballin’ comet illuminating the firmament briefly, wondrously, indelibly, before disappearing; he was a reassuring night-light that head coaches left plugged until it finally, wayyy past its expected lifespan, burned out. Not as memorable as the cosmic pyrotechnics, no. But more valuable? Undeniably.



Think about this: over the course of an 11-year career, Martin failed to rush for 1,000 yards exactly once, and that was his final season. You can argue -- I have, and will again -- that reaching a thousand rushing yards is a feat somewhat lessened by the 16-game season, but still. For a position as physically demanding and conducive to shortened careers as running back? The fact that he played 11 seasons by itself is kind of amazing, but to lead the league in rushing yards and attempts 10 years in, as Martin did, is, frankly, boggling. That stuff just doesn’t happen.

Yet he never really gets the respek afforded guys like Davis (a personal favorite of mine for obvious reasons) precisely because he was so workmanlike, so regular. Another 1,000 yard season, another 9 TDs, yawn. Lotta steak, but the sizzle was generally absent. Part of that had to do with his style: he was a grinder, not a gazelle. Part of it had to do with a general lack of postseason success: he left New England before their reign of dominance, and his one Super Bowl appearance there was mostly memorable because his team was on the beating end of a Brett Favre/Reggie White pummelthon.

But at the end of his career, the numbers fail to lie: 14,000+ yards, 100 TDs. Five time Pro Bowler, once a First Team All-Pro. Martin’s an undeniable Hall of Famer and one of the finest backs of his generation. Even if no one really remembers what he looks like.

4. Eric Dickerson

bankmeister: Eric Dickerson is the first NFL running back that I thought would threaten to take the throne from Walter Payton as the best I’d ever seen. Luckily for my wishes as a kid, his career only lasted 10 years, and the final four of those 10 tapered off massively. Dickerson attended Southern Methodist University, and was taken by the Rams with the second overall pick of the 1983 draft. He went to six Pro Bowls, rushed for 13, 259 yards, and, on 90 occasions, crossed the goal line while toting the rock.

I’d be remiss if I didn’t note Dickerson’s 78 career fumbles, which has got to make Ricky Watters feel better about himself, but Dickerson had some pretty significant seasons. Thrice he led the league in rushing attempts, four times he earned the rushing title for most yards on the season, he had the most rushing TDs in 1984, and in five different seasons, the oddly bespectacled one led the league in rushing yards per game.

Like I mentioned, though, Dickerson’s career tapered off: After consecutive monster seasons with the Rams, then Indianapolis, he played 16 games in a Raider uniform, suited up four times with the Falcons, and then failed a physical with Green Bay, prompting his retirement. It, therefore, goes without saying that Dickerson was phenomenal for a stretch, but had said stretch been significantly shorter, phrases like “flash in the pan” may have been thrown around regarding his career. As it stands, you have to include him in conversations regarding rushing greats, but he will always remain a tier below the all-time best backs. Eric Dickerson, NFL Hall of Fame, class of 1999.

3. Emmitt Smith

Cecil: Emmitt Smith

2. Marshall Faulk

Old No. 7: Marshall Faulk

And the number-one rock toter in the last 25 years is...

(Editor's Note: Duh.)

1. Barry Sanders

bankmeister: I’ve said on several occasions throughout this series that one of my colleagues was likely more qualified to comment on a particular topic/person than I, and Barry Sanders is no exception. It’s not that I can’t copy/paste his stats here, or come up with something clever to say about him. It’s simply that I probably watched about seven seconds of live, Barry Sanders football. For reasons that are unnecessary to explain, there just wasn’t, and isn’t, a lot of Lions football on the tube, which leads us to the one thing all of us can say about Sanders: You have to wonder how much better his career could’ve been, had he not been drafted (third overall) by Detroit in 1989.

That said, Sanders backed up Thurman Thomas at Oklahoma State for two years, which might be the first contributor to the reasons why Sanders was so incredible in the NFL; he didn’t get beat down for four consecutive college seasons. He absolutely went bat-sh** bananas, though, his junior year, won a Heisman, and bailed for the pros, where he has the insufferable Wayne Fontes to thank for making him a Lion.

They go-to move here is to talk about the numbers that Sanders put up across 10 professional years, to highlight the swelling tumor of suckitude Detroit has always embodied, but all of that would be injustice to our number-one guy.

So, I’ll say this: Has any NFL player ever gone to a Pro Bowl in every season in which they played? Has any running back ever averaged 1500+ yards a season? Or 1800 yards from scrimmage? I honestly don’t know, but I sincerely doubt it.

Barry Sanders is not first on the all-time list in either: rushing attempts, ground yards, or touchdowns. He’s close in all three, though. What matters is that watching Barry Sanders run the ball (Editor’s Note: gleaned via clips, highlights) was nothing shy of jaw-dropping. He was graced with some kind of athletic miracle, some droplet from some golden halo in the heavens that allowed him to simply make plays happen.

In sports, we often hear our coaches and our players say, Great players go out and make plays. I disagree with that sentiment. Good players go out and make plays. Great players go out and make great plays happen almost every time they touch the ball. Great players do not come along but perhaps every 50 years or so. Great players invent things on the fly. Great players have an impeccable focus, a sharp eye that sends lightning-speed messages to a lucid mind, ability to process that rapid-fire information, and produce something with the gift of talent they’ve been given.

Barry Sanders did that on nearly every snap for a straight decade. He missed seven games in that stretch, and I’d be willing to bet all seven were bad losses. This list includes a lot of incredibly talented athletes, and yes – some of them were great. But none of them, friends, was Barry Sanders great.

It’s been said that Sanders praises Fontes in his book, that he’s not bitter about the way things went down in terms of who drafted him, how his career developed, but it’s also been said that the losing absolutely took a toll on him, and he hung up the spikes quote/unquote early.

And that’s too bad in a sense. It’d be nice to see Sanders atop all of the career-totals lists, but, in the end, for him, that was likely not as important as getting Ws. Read more

The HoG25: The Best 25 Running Backs of the Past 25 Years

Here we go with selection 11/12 in the now-infamous HoG25. It started over 20 months ago, when we held a borderline-ridiculous, two-part, fantasy-sports-style draft. The idea was to come up with 12 categories -- six sports-related, six not -- draft 25 people/things from each category, rank them, and write about them. It was an idea that was not all that fleshed out, one that was intended to reinvigorate the contributors of this blog, one that would be finished by Thanksgiving 2009. April Fool's, what?

We are, nevertheless, going to finally finish this project, which, may one day stand on its own two legs, but for now, we can only admit that the muscles used in creating it have gotten a touch flabby, as it's no longer the brisk spring of 2007. We no longer crank out a half-dozen posts a week, we no longer receive 35,000 viewers a month, and we no longer generate thousands of pennies per fiscal year. There are, as it were, the proverbial mouths -- the spouses, the pets, the children -- to feed, the mortgages to stay ahead of, and the -- if I may speak for all three of us -- mundane jobs that require daily attendance, considerable chunks of focus, attention, and effort.

That said, the list that follows is far from complete. If you're so inclined, have a look at the write-ups included, peep the links for the stats in those that are not.

25. Deuce McAllister

Cecil: Deuce had that look, even in college. That “my thighs are, quite literally, the size of your chest” look. That “if I hit the hole with even a modicum of build-up, I am going to put a cleat mark on your face” look. That “yeah, yeah, so big backs like me get hurt a lot, what the fuck is your problem?” look. Deeeuuccee had the looooooooook (sung to the tune of that song. You know. Not going to look it up, but the folks who did it were Swedish. No, not Abba. The other Swedish ones…no, not Ace of Base either. You know what? Never mind.)

It was that last look that cursed Deuce -- he only spent one full season healthy in the League, and that single healthy season saw him rush for more than 1,600 yards, catch 69 passes and account for more than 100 on the ground every game. He was the focal point of the resurgence of the Saints, who’d fallen back on their familiar hard times after the heady, defense-heavy Dome Patrol ‘80s, and with then QB Aaron Brooks’ only occasional bouts of competence, was pretty much the team’s entire offense. Which is probably why that was his only truly healthy campaign.

But man, when he was, he was a load. He played at around 230 pounds but had the light feet of a much smaller back. His career totals are pretty decent for an 8-year career, considering how much he was hurt: more than 6,000 yards and 50 TDs, almost all of which came during a five-year span. Deuce is definitely one of the best pure running backs in recent memory. If he’d played on grass, for a team that could achieve some semblance of balance, I’d wager he’d be a lot higher up on this list.

24. Corey Dillon

Old No. 7: Corey Dillon

23. Warrick Dunn

Old No. 7: Warrick Dunn

22. Ricky Watters

bankmeister: Five-time Pro Bowler Ricky Watters might’ve been a stretch in this little selection, but hey –- any Golden Domer is an all-time great in my book. Once Mr. Watters finished his South Bend schoolin’, he was selected in the second round of the 1991 NFL draft by San Francisco. His career was but 10 years, but we all know now that that’s about average for the modern-day back.

He logged over 10,000 yards in his time between the professional hash marks, and in half of his seasons, he crested the 1200-yard mark. It’s no surprise that his best season –- the 1996 campaign in which the Philadelphia Eagles beat him like a rented mule -– included career highs across the board: 1411 yards, 13 trips to the end zone, and 353 rushing attempts.

If memory serves, Mr. Watters was not graced with the largest of hands, and his 43 career fumbles attest to that. It’s actually not that bad, though, if you consider that that averages to a mere four-plus per season, and factor in that he’s 17th all-time in career rushing attempts. He’s also 20th in career yards, which warrants him a spot on the list, as does the fact that he won a NCAA national championship as a wide receiver, and a Super Bowl ring with the 49ers and Coach George Seifert.

Watters continues to be left outside Canton, Ohio’s doorstep, allegedly due to his hot-headedness, and occasional off-field antics. If you had a vote, would you put Ricky in? For Who? For What?

21. Tiki Barber

Old No. 7: Tiki Barber

20. Roger Craig

Cecil: Roger Craig

19. Adrian Peterson

Old No. 7: Adrian Peterson

18. Clinton Portis

Old No. 7: Clinton Portis

17. Jamal Lewis

Cecil: Jamal Lewis

16. Fred Taylor

Cecil: Fred Taylor

15. (two-way tie)

Edgerrin James

Cecil: Edgerrin James

Walter Payton

bankmeister: Putting together a feature like the HoG25 is tricky, to say the least. We have a specific window from which we’re drawing, we’re taking specific categories, inserting a particular population into the categories, ranking the members of said population, and then defending the whole thing in some hybrid of seriousness, comic relief. In attempting to compose such a complex picture, many pitfalls come into place, some greater than others.

For example, I can select a person as part of a population, and maybe, via statistics, awards, popularity, or some combination of all three, I attempt to defend my selection. Whether or not a defense is successful is left to be determined. Perhaps the trickiest pitfall of all, however, is the one associated with the aforementioned window of time. We came across it in baseball, and probably, to some degree, in each of our already published categories. What happens if person X, or thing Y was universally accepted as fantastic up until 1986, or 1987, and then tapered off?

Is it responsible to omit that person or thing because they didn’t commit a certain chunk of time to the window? Is the window greater than the person or thing itself? Would it be more or less responsible to flex the window so as to include whatever person or thing you’re targeting? I posit that Walter Payton epitomizes this whole conundrum, and he does so because, at one point in time, football was no bigger than Walter Payton himself. He had the talent and the productivity any fan, owner, coach, and teammate would want playing for their team, and he had the personality to go along with it.

It would be foolish to suppose that some of the shenanigans in which our current football players engage were not happening before the explosion of access to the league via ever-expanding media (both traditional and social). But the fact remains that, in my humble opinion, if you put Walter Payton on a 1984 NFL team, or on a 2010 NFL team, Walter Payton will still be Walter Payton. And quite frankly, I don’t know that I’ll ever have the opportunity to write about Walter Payton again, so that’s why I drafted him, and that’s why I defend drafting him, even if I did so with my third pick of the round.

Payton attended Jackson State University, and was drafted in the first round by the Chicago Bears in 1975. He had a better-than-decent rookie season (679 rushing yards, seven touchdowns), doubled those numbers as a sophomore, and maintained that level of production, with little variance, until his final season (1987) in the league. Payton had some massive seasons in the mid-late ‘70s, but he also came on strong again in the mid-late ‘80s. Perhaps that was due to his team being superior. Perhaps it was due to Payton himself, his “Never Die Easy” mantra.

But if you’re hung up on staying focused on the window, we can do that: From 1984-1987, Payton totaled 6551 all-purpose yards, and scored 38 touchdowns. He did so via 1172 rushing attempts, and 164 catches. For my money, that’s pretty impressive considering that he turned 30 three months prior to the start of the ’84 season. Sweetness is still at the number-two slot in career rushing attempts (3838), yards (16,726), and is number four in career rushing touchdowns with 110. I’m aware that a good chunk of that happened pre-window, but I wanted to make it known that a healthy chunk happened inside of it, too. Walter Payton was elected to nine Pro Bowls (including ’84, ’85, and ’86), and was inducted into the pro football hall of fame in 1993.

13. Priest Holmes

bankmeister: It would be utterly ridiculous for me not to get at least one homer pick in on this group. Nobody needs any more Charlie Sheen references, but I really could’ve picked any of two and-a-half men that carried the football for the Kansas City Chiefs within our window here. And I don’t have a complex about it: I was humble enough to wait until the 16th round to select Priest, unlike Sir Cecil, who went – shockingly – with Terrell Davis in round two.

Priest went to Texas for his post-high-school education, but I forgave him for that exactly 10 years ago, when he put on the handsomest helmet in NFL history. There are many, many reasons why I admire the hell out of the always-incognito Holmes, but I think the big three are as follows:

1) At Texas, he was in the shadows of Ricky Williams.
2) Leaving Texas, he went undrafted.
3) Upon being signed as a free agent by Baltimore, he was in the shadows of Jamal Lewis, and it was only after he left defending-champion Ravens did he get his career truly started.

Once he did, he quickly put together an impressive four-season stretch in Kansas City, compiling 5482 yards, 70 touchdowns, and a staggering 7645 all-purpose yards between 2001-2004. Priest was the epitome of quiet, elusive away from the football field, except for when he was playing chess with Joe Posnanski, or spearheading a Priest Holmes Foundation project.

Since his retirement, his family still makes their home in San Antonio, but Priest still comes around for the occasional appearance at KC metro elementary schools, always with the message of “Stay in school,” and always with a smile. If I had to guess, I’d say that Ricky Watters and Eddie George will one day experience Hall of Fame enshrinement, while Priest Holmes will not. But in my mind, the three-time Pro Bowler is one of the best I’ve seen, for a brief span, when it comes to a solid ground game.

12. Eddie George

bankmeister: When I think of Eddie George, I think of all those mid-to-late ‘90s Chiefs teams that tried like hell to have success with the stupid Running Back by Committee approach. God, I used to think. Can’t we get a guy? A primary, bad-freaking-ass, rock-toting guy? A guy that will be on the roster for many seasons? A guy like Eddie George, maybe?

I’ve never had much to think of, or say about, the Houston Oilers or the Tennessee Titans. They’re mostly unimportant in my book, but you have to give them credit for somehow managing to keep successful guys around for chunks of time. Guys like Warren Moon, Jeff Fisher, and, yes –- guys like Eddie George.

I’ve also never had much opinion about Ohio State University, save for the fact that I think they have two really dumb traditions: the tacky Buckeye leaves on the helmet, and the uber-annoying Monday Night Football introductions. THE Ohio State University, however, is in fact where Mr. George matriculated, nabbed himself a Heisman trophy, and, upon commencement from that institution, the Oilers made a first-rounder out of the tailback.

He went on to log nine NFL seasons, and I’m pretty sure some crumbly knees prevented him from adding to 10, 441 yards, 68 touchdowns, and nearly 2900 carries. I’ll point out his monster 2000 season, where he crested the 400-carry mark, compiled 1500 yards (1962 from scrimmage), and 14 TDs. Since retiring after the 2004 season, Mr. George has made quite the little metrosexual career for himself, hanging with Jason Sehorn and Tim Brown on some football show, as well as appearances on MTV, a couple of reality shows, and in an –- ouch –- Steven Seagal movie. But, hey -– he’s an Obama supporter, and a four-time Pro Bowler. Win, win.

11. (two-way tie)

Jerome Bettis

bankmeister: I’ll bet that you were unaware that Jerome Bettis hails from Detroit, Michigan. You weren’t? Well, I’m not sure how you knew, you avid researcher. What I bet you really didn’t know was that Bettis attended the University of Notre Dame, and in 1993, was a first-round pick of the Los Angeles Rams.

What? You knew those things, too?

Alright. Fine. Last one: Jerome Bettis replaced Bam (of the weed-slinging, national-car-theft-ring fame) Morris as the primary Pittsburgh Steeler tailback in the 1996 season, having already amassed 3000 rushing yards in two varieties of Ram jerseys. He also appeared on “The Office,” was once considered one of the best bowlers in the National Football League, and is a partial owner of three minor-league baseball teams. Oh, wait: That was me that didn’t know any of that.

Interesting stuff, when compared with 13, 662 career rushing yards, 94 total touchdowns over 13 seasons, and a most-impressive number-five slot on the all-time ground-yards list. Ahead of Bettis are: Curtis Martin, Barry Sanders, Walter Payton, and lucid articulator Emmitt Smith. What amazes me most about Bettis’ career is that, outside of Pittsburgh, and outside of fantasy-football circles, I imagine that the first half of Bettis’ career statistics were not major blips on the casual football fan’s radar screen.

That is, when the Steelers got consistently good at the end of Bill Cowher’s, beginning of Mike Tomlin’s careers, Bettis just sort of walked into a household-name status. Everyone knew who the Bus was, and exactly why he had the name he did. But how many folks knew that Bettis had amassed nearly 8500 career rushing yards heading into the 2000 NFL season?

Fine. Maybe everyone did. I was unaware. Jerome Bettis was a beast for the duration of his career, and if you add his numbers, post-season success, and six Pro Bowls together, I believe the sum you will reach has Canton scribbled somewhere in the result.

Ricky Williams

Old No. 7: Ricky Williams

There's the first chunk. We'll meet you in a dark alley in a few hours for the rest. Be there. Alone.
Read more

NCAA Men's Hockey Championship: Frozen Four Set, Schedule Should Shift

If you spent the weekend glued to channels of the tube broadcasting basketball games, I don’t blame you. It’s been a great tournament.

What else have been great have been the first two rounds of the NCAA men’s ice hockey tournament, which, like men’s hoops, determined Sunday who the four finalists would be.

But more on that in a minute.

There are a ton of issues going on in the sports world right now, and honestly, you can take your pick of interesting stories: Will Floyd Mayweather, Jr. ever fight Manny Pacquiao? Can the Barry Bonds trial end in anything but a disaster? For how many more years will the what-to-do-with-the-BCS discussion continue? Will there be professional football this season, and if so, will it start on time? Could the impending expirations of the current NBA, MLB collective-bargaining agreements mean that those two sports are right behind? Will Tiger Woods ever get his moxie back?

These questions, and many more are tumbling through the minds of American sports fans on a daily basis, but I am here to pose the question that nobody’s asking: Why, if the NCAA men’s basketball tournament is so perfectly scheduled, so popular, and so much – right now – in the self-determined need for expansion, can the same collegiate association not put their heads together and figure out a better spacing system for the men’s hockey tournament?

After the jump, we’ll take a brief look at a few theorems.

Alright, got your turkey melt and your frosty glass of milk? Here goes:

A) Nobody cares. I pondered the different options in terms of when to list this, the easiest answer of them all, and my thought was: Let’s just get it out of the way. Of course I don’t really mean nobody, but when you calculate the number of sports fans in the country, and the television ratings/attendance numbers associated with them, hockey doesn’t just take the back seat, it takes the way-back seat. The seat that’s not really even a seat. And that’s the pro level. Start talking semi-pro and college hockey, and the numbers plummet. For the purposes of this discussion, however, we must focus on both those that do pay attention, those that one day might. So, if the numbers don’t necessitate a conversation proposing change, then that conversation’s simply not going to happen.

B) Everything Frozen Four-related must coincide with the presentation of the Hobey Baker Award ceremony. Nonsense. Change the award ceremony to either after the conclusion of the conference tournaments, or after the conclusion of the championship game.

C) It’s important to get these student-athletes back to their respective campuses and in the classroom so that they may focus on academics. It’s possible, but if they’re going to miss class (which they really don’t; all regular-season, conference tournaments, as well as the championship are played at night on weekends, with the exception of the Frozen Four semi-finals, which falls on a Thursday.

D) It doesn’t matter because, hey – look at football. Some of those teams have to wait four, five, and six weeks for their bowl games to roll around. Naw. Comparing football and hockey is clearly a case of apples/oranges, since there are tons more football programs throughout the country, and millions more dollars associated with those games, universities, television contracts, etc.

E) The most likely scenario is: They’re waiting for college hoops to wrap up. I would poo-poo this notion for two reasons: 1) Nobody is going to miss the Frozen Four because they’re enveloped in March Madness, which leads me to 2) The Final Four will be played this weekend. You’ll have two games Saturday evening, the winners of which will advance to the championship game on Monday, April 4. The Frozen Four has always – as far as I can remember – had the Thursday/Sunday format for their tournament, so if you’re going to stick with that, then why not schedule it the week following the first/second rounds of the tournament, and you can stagger the games and days with the basketball schedule.

My guess is that it’s neither of the above, and that it has to do with what will draw the best television ratings, but that’s also silly because I can’t imagine that ESPNU’s schedule is so packed that they can’t fit in the college hockey games in the same weekend that the Final Four is happening. I mean, this is the first year I can remember in a long time where an absolute ton of the March Madness contests are being broadcast, and the networks don’t have to jump back and forth in the middle of games to cover the one that’s the best matchup of the moment.

The NCAA men’s hockey tournament is one-fourth the size of its basketball counterpart, and exactly zero of the opening games were broadcast on a basic-cable channel. You could catch some on ESPNU, or online via ESPN3.com, assuming your Internet provider supported. The point being that the hockey tournament did not interfere with televised hoops whatsoever. College basketball fans got to watch any and all games desired, and college hockey fans did the same, assuming they had the appropriate cable package or Internet provider, or were in a market that carried the coverage locally.

The point is this: For much of the college-basketball tournament, coaches, players, etc. are dealing with a schedule that closely resembles their regular season. They play one or two games a week, with just a few days off in between. The only difference is when this bracket goes from Elite Eight to Final Four; the four remaining programs suddenly have six days off. But six days off is, in my mind, a world of difference than 11 or 12. The men’s hockey tournament kicks off on a Friday. Half the teams play, the other half play on Saturday. The teams that play Friday and advance play again on Saturday. Conversely, if your first game isn’t until Saturday, and you win, you play again Sunday. Logic would suggest, then, that the two Frozen Four matchups happen four days later, on the subsequent Thursday, and the two winners play for all the marbles on Sunday.

Four days seems like plenty of time to get back to school, go to class, practice/prepare for your next opponent, and hit the road again. Okay, plenty might be stretching it, but I would be largely in favor of putting a condensed schedule together, and at least having the punch of your most-recent victory still a little fresh in your head. If you go the route they currently do, there’s zero chance of momentum carrying over, and you’ve got all of this time laying around to perhaps over-practice, and prepare in excess. It’s like the NFL format where the top-two seeds in each conference get a bye.

I’m not saying there’s a problem with the way the NFL goes about scheduling its post-season. It seems to work fine, and with professional football, you can probably benefit from the extra recovery time. But every year, inevitably, the discussion comes up with all four teams that got a bye: Will the week off hurt them? Will they be rusty? Are their opponents better off because they played last week, have emotional highs and momentum pulsing through their veins and locker rooms?

I’ve not looked at statistics for NFL clubs coming off that post-season bye, but I’m certain someone has, that it’s the right word combination of a Google search away. Consider that your homework. Dig up the win-loss record for NFL playoff teams after a first-round bye. My guess is that it’s probably going to be in the neighborhood of a 60/40 split in favor of teams that played in a Wildcard game. (Update: Don’t actually do that because it’s counter-productive to my point: In the last 10 NFL post-seasons, the team coming off of a first-round bye won 25 of the 40 Divisional-round games played, which is nearly 63 percent.)

Bad example, but I’m not straying from my thesis. I could argue that that’s professional, this is college. That that’s football, this is hockey. That the NFL, while doing a great job attempting to achieve league-wide parity, is about drafting, free-agent signing, and salary caps, while the NCAA can only offer scholarships, and only at the universities lucky enough to have a sanctioned program. And regardless, in this scenario, nobody’s getting a bye. Everybody in this tournament has exactly the same amount of post-season games, nearly the exact same amount of rest. So, the question remains: If teams work all year to have a successful regular season, compete and win some conference-tournament games, hope for a tournament berth, and fight for the requisite two wins to get to the Frozen Four, why are you making them wait a week and-a-half for a chance to play for it all?

Christmas being the only exception, these guys play 20 consecutive weeks of a regular season, go straight into a two-weekend conference tournament, straight into regionals, and then have to take a week off before the championship semi-finals? It doesn’t make any sense.

The way it should look, then, is that the semis should be happening this Thursday, the Hobey Baker ceremony on Friday. Saturday, then can be used for a light skate, and some rest, and your championship game on Sunday. Then you get the heck outta Dodge, get the kids back to school, and they can clamp down for papers, projects, finals, etc.

That’s how I’d do it, anyway. Allow the kids to keep their engines burning; instead of providing them with an opportunity to let some of the season’s steam dissipate, potentially resulting in a flat Frozen Four performance.

Anyway, Sunday’s two contests were hard-fought. Well, one of them was. The Denver Pioneers got trailblazed in their match against the two-seed Fighting Sioux of North Dakota. In the 6-1 route, they never even appeared partially in the game, but that’s more of a reflection of UND’s power than it is DU’s shortcomings. The final match of the weekend involved a more-defensive battle between the University of New Hampshire Wildcats and the Notre Dame Fighting Irish. Notre Dame took a one-goal lead early, and barely looked back. Up two headed into the third, they clamped down, and didn’t allow the lone UNH tally to find the back of the net until there were three minutes and change left in the contest. As the players began their on-ice celebration, television cameras panned to head coach Jeff Jackson on the bench, and if you’re able to read lips, you could see him say to the second assistant he hugged, “We’re going to the Frozen Four.”

And indeed they are. The matchups are set: The Irish square off against the University of Minnesota-Duluth at 4 pm Central, Thursday, April 7.

Three and-a-half hours later, it’ll be the Michigan Wolverines challenging the Fighting Sioux. Both games will be played in the Xcel Energy Center in St. Paul, MN. Both will be televised on ESPN@ HD, ESPN3.com. The two victors will go toe-to-toe Sunday the ninth at 6 pm, the NCAA hockey championship at stake.

Personally, I’m thrilled as can be that the Irish have advanced this far. I’m tempted to say that UMD will knock off the Irish, only to fall to North Dakota, but the homer in me says Notre Dame advances, only to become runner-up for the second time in three years. Either way, those games should be being played on the March 31, April 3, not the following weekend.




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NCAA Men's Hockey Championship: Sunday's Second-Round Games

Okay, so titling these games first and second rounds is a little tricky because the rounds have actually been split between days this weekend, but after today, it will be crystal clear, because we'll be able to officially call the next round the semi-finals, and, well, there'll only be four schools left. But that's what I've been doing, so, courses, mid-stream, etc. This tournament has been exciting to follow, even though my poor man's basic-cable package, and my non-supportive Internet provider have afforded me the opportunity to watch precisely zero games, and to listen to just as many. Being a hockey fan, I'm used to being in the red-headed stepchild sports class, but I've realized now that following college hockey is probably akin to being a double minority.

But that's cool. I've enjoyed it, and maybe next year, Daddy will've gotten a raise that affords him a broader cable package that includes ESPNU. Maybe.

Before we talk about today's matchups, it should be noted that, so far, this tournament has not been devoid of upsets. On Friday, defending champion Boston College got embarrassed by Colorado College, but on Saturday, it was the Tigers who tasted defeat, as they fell 2-1 to the Michigan Wolverines.

The big upset of the day, however, was number-one seed Yale getting downed by Minnesota-Duluth, courtesy of a 5-3 margin. So, as games get underway today, three of the top four seeds have been sent packing; only number-two North Dakota remains. The temptation -- not at all based just on seed -- is to say that the Fighting Sioux is the favorite to take home the hardware. I mean, they appear to be the most dominant club.

In a stalwart effort to defend their title, Boston College went 30-7-1 on the season, but they also went somewhere else yesterday: home. North Dakota's 31-8-3 record is, for my money, the most impressive record of the 16 berths, even though they lost one more, tied two more than B.C. But they also handled their assignment Saturday, even if it was Rensselaer.

Speaking of the Fighting Sioux, though, their game is the first on the Sunday slate, a 4:30 pm Central start against the Denver University Pioneers. Now Denver fended off Western Michigan yesterday, but they were down two goals early, and needed two overtime periods to get the win against a team over whom they were favored. At least I think they were. Nevertheless, it's Denver/North Dakota up in Green Bay, WI. Peep it on ESPNU HD or have yourself a listen on ESPN3.com.

For my money, however, the game of the weekend is our second dose of home-field advantage, and that would be the 7 pm start up in Manchester, NH between the University of New Hampshire Wildcats and the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame.

Yes, that's right, the Irish held off Merrimack, but in fashion similar to Denver's victory. They fell behind 2-1 early on, and then were down 3-2 in the third, managed an equalizing tally late in the game, then helped themselves to a game-winning goal in overtime. This, of course, ruled. So, the Wildcats and the Irish will get after it to close out the weekend of college hockey.

Action will resume Thursday in St. Paul, MN. It'll be the winner of Notre Dame/New Hampshire taking on Minnesota-Duluth, and the other contest will pit the winner of Denver/North Dakota against those bastard Wolverines from Michigan.

Let's go Irish!
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NCAA Men's Hockey Championship: Saturday's First-Round Games

The second half of the NCAA men’s ice hockey regionals get underway Saturday in both Manchester, NH, and Green Bay, WI, but before we get to the contests, note that, in yesterday’s games, Yale knocked off Air Force 2-1 in overtime; Minnesota-Duluth blanked Union 2-0; Colorado College crushed Boston College 8-4; and despite taking an early 2-0 lead, Nebraska-Omaha lost to Michigan by one goal.

Today’s first tilt features Rensselaer and the number-two seed North Dakota, which is slated to get underway at 12:30 Central in Green Bay’s Resch Center.

Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute is an educational institution in Troy, NY that focuses, among others, on architecture, business, engineering, and information technology. And they have a hockey program. Guess anything’s possible in New York. They managed a 20-12-5 regular season, and although they were knocked out in the ECAC preliminaries by Colgate, the Engineers still managed to get their tournament number called, perhaps largely thanks to the play of two-time All-ECAC senior center Chase Polacek, who led the conference in points, tallying 21 goals, 28 assists.

This won’t be the first time the clubs have met: In 1985 -- one season removed from RPI’s second (the first came in 1954) national title -- the eighth-seed Fighting Sioux and the top-seed Engineers squared off in the opening round, which resulted in a North Dakota win. Although the Engineers haven’t made the tournament since 10 years after that match with the Fighting Sioux, they do have eight tournament appearances under their belt, along with five Frozen Fours.

In addition to Hobey Baker Memorial Award finalist Polacek (Edina, MN), the Engineers have been led by junior netminder Allen York (Wetaskiwin, Alberta), who has compiled a .927 save percentage, and 2.05 goals-against average.

On the North Dakota end of things, there’s a touch more history. A touch coming in the form of: fifteen Western College Hockey Association titles and seven national championships. As if that’s not significant adversity for RPI, already, then this is: a 30-8-3 season for the Fighting Sioux, an unbeaten streak that goes back three months, all culminating in the WHCA title, earned last week in St. Paul via decisive wins over Michigan Tech, and narrower-margin wins over both Colorado College and Denver.

Like RPI has in Polacek, North Dakota has their own Hobey Baker finalist in Matt Frattin, senior forward out of Edmonton, Alberta, who tallied an amazing 35 goals and 22 assists. The Fighting Sioux have also witnessed some lights-out goaltending from sophomore Aaron Dell (Airdrie, Alberta) who delivered a solid season: 1.89 GAA/.921 save percentage.

Saturday’s second game pits the 21-10-6 New Hampshire Wildcats against the four-seed Miami (OH) RedHawks, 23-9-6. That action will get underway at 3 pm Central, and, for now, can be called the only true home-ice advantage in the tournament, even though New Hampshire is listed as the visiting team. This tilt will also feature to Hobey Baker finalists. They include: New Hampshire’s Paul Thompson (senior; Derry, NH (Editor’s Note: You better believe he’ll be the weekend fan favorite of all four venues.) 28 goals, 24 assists), and Miami’s Andy Miele (senior; Grosse Pointe Woods, MI; 21 goals, 44 assists).

New Hampshire looks to make the most of the energy that will be created from playing at the Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, and especially with NH native Thompson on the ice, especially considering their disappointing semi-final exit -- a 4-1 loss to Merrimack College -- from the Hockey East conference tournament one week ago. Miami, on the other hand, may already have momentum in their favor, having recently disposed of Michigan for the Central College Hockey Association championship in Detroit last week. In addition to the two Hobey Baker finalists that will square off on the offensive side of the puck, New Hampshire has enjoyed fine netminding from junior Matt Digirolamo (Amber, PA), who started all 37 contests for the Wildcats, totaling a 2.49 GAA, and a .921 save percentage, while the RedHawks have appreciated the goaltending of both Connor Knapp (junior; York, NY) and Cody Reichard (junior; Celina, OH).

Game three of the afternoon will take us back to Green Bay, and will feature Denver and Western Michigan. As mentioned, Denver lost to North Dakota last weekend in the WCHA championship, but don’t let that fool you; their 24-11-5 record still impresses, as they faced stellar team after stellar team all season, and managed to string together and eight-game win streak that stretched from mid-December through most of January.

Offensively for the Pioneers, Denver native, sophomore Drew Shore led the way with 23 goals, 22 assists, and freshman Sam Brittain (Calgary, Alberta) manned the pipes for most games, generating a .923 save percentage to go along with his 2.24 GAA. In fitting fashion, DU is tied with North Dakota in total national championships (seven) in program history, most recently netting back-to-back trophies in the 2004, 2005 campaigns. They also boast 15 WCHA tournament championships, 2008 being the last one they won.

Western Michigan hockey embodies an animal not at all unfamiliar to Denver; they’re the Broncos. WMU’s most recent action came courtesy of a loss in the CCHA championship at the hands of Miami (OH), but they knocked off in-state rival Michigan to get there one game prior. Patrolling the crease this season for the Broncos has been the tandem of Jerry Kuhn (senior; Southgate, MI) and Nick Pisellini (Itasca, Ill). On the offensive front, Max Campbell (senior; Strathroy, Ontario) and Chase Balisy (freshman; Rancho Santa Marga, CA) led the charge with 29 points apiece. The Broncos bring a 19-12-10 record to the fold, their fifth meeting in club history against Denver, but the first time the schools will meet in the tournament, and the first time they have played one another since 1983. Additionally, this is WMU’s fifth tournament (0-4) appearance, their first since 1996. The puck drops at 4 pm Central.

Our fourth and final contest of the first round finds the Merrimack College Warriors squaring off against the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame in a 6:30 start back up yonder in Manchester. Merrimack brings to the ice a 25-9-4 record, and look to rebound after a disappointing 5-3 loss to Boston College in last weekend’s Hockey East conference championship. They bring significant offensive firepower with six players totaling 30 or more points on the season, led by Stephane De Costa (sophomore; Paris, France), who lit the lamp 14 times and added 30 helpers to his point total. Their main man with all the heavy gear has been junior Joe Cannata (Wakefield, MA), who posted a 2.44 GAA, and a .921 save percentage.

On the Fighting Irish end, Notre Dame comes in with a 23-12-5 record, which was an impressive campaign, considering the tough schedule they faced throughout the year. In the CCHA playoffs, the South Bend ice squad took two of three from Lake Superior State, but had a disappointing championship round, losing to both Miami (OH), and Michigan, in somewhat-decisive fashion. The Irish have been led by T.J. Tynan, who put together a massive season, generating 52 points (22 goals, 30 assists), and Mike Johnson in net (2.62 GAA, .903 save percentage).

Historically speaking, Merrimack is making their second (2-2) tournament appearance, and has gone as far as the quarterfinals (where they lost to Lake Superior State in 1988). Notre Dame is making their fifth (4-4) tournament appearance, and has gone to the finals once (a 4-1 loss to Boston College in 2008).

The winners of today’s games square off tomorrow afternoon – DU/WMU winner vs. NDU/Rensselaer winner at 4:30 pm Central; Miami/NH winner vs. ND/Merrimack winner at 7 pm -- to determine who moves on to the semifinal on April 7. The championship will be played on Saturday, April 9.
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The HoG25: The 25 Best Actors of the Past 25 Years, Part II

What does the word "Hollywood" conjure for you? Hopes? Dreams? Fame? Your own star? For us here at the House of Georges, it means another category for us to write about.

This is part two of our actors installment, and in case you missed part one, you can find where I offered this intro -- "we draft the pieces of each category, fantasy-sports style, write a blurb about 'em (unless we don't feel like it), rank them (unless it's one of those rather lazy years), and post them. When we rank them, it's usually all three of us, but this time around, only two of us did, which is why you'll see the screwy numbering system..." here.

Some assorted version of our top 10, just past the jump.

12. (two-way tie) Morgan Freeman

bankmeister: I remember Morgan Freeman roles in three 1989 films: “Glory,” Driving Miss Daisy,” and “Lean on Me.” I also remember that a) This was most likely my first exposure to him, and b) he was solid in all three films. It’s entirely possible that Freeman’s Red was a better delivery than Tim Robbins’ Andy Dufresne in “The Shawshank Redemption,” and it’s entirely possible that that was one of the best three films of the 1990s. Freeman was great in “Seven,” fantastic in each “Batman” piece, charming in “The Bucket List,” and impressive in “Gone Baby Gone.”

He deserves credit for his part in “Million Dollar Baby,” applause for his efforts in “Outbreak” (even if it was a terrible film), and some serious cred’ for his role in “Unforgiven.”

But here’s the real thing about Morgan Freeman: He’s a mellow dude who does every role he plays justice, and he will always warm your heart with that unforgettable voice. Even in “Gone Baby Gone,” where Freeman took on a rare antagonist role, a part of you, the viewer, wants to root for him, because he’s that good. Freeman deserves more credit than this small write-up can generate. He’s been a touchstone in the world of cinema for a long time, and one could argue that his five Oscar nominations (one win for “Million Dollar Baby") are too few.

Julianne Moore

bankmeister: Here’s where things might get a touch off track. I’m of the opinion that, from time to time, heterosexual film-viewers are best-equipped to judge actors of their same gender. In short, you can rule out the attraction factor. Well, I mean, unless you’re a dude that’s just really into the DiCaprios, the Clooneys, the Pitts, etc. My point is that I can, or rather, have, judged a performance by a male actor with a greater cinematic-talent-related passion than I have for almost every actress I’ve seen on the big screen. Why? Probably because I have testosterone pumping through my veins and I either determine that she’s a) hot, b) not, c) annoying, d) not good, or e) any combination of the preceding, and probably in that order. I mean, I was bat-shit nuts for Transformers as a kid, but I wasn’t that interested in seeing the movie, save for the massive erection the words “Megan” and “Fox” tend to give when placed side-by-side. Or take Sally Field, for example. I’ve always dug her. “Places in the Heart,” Forrest Gump,” Mrs. Doubtfire,” etc. But I also happen to think that Sally Field is rather attractive. Always have. Thus, a dilemma. I’m sure there are more than one actress that applies to what I’m about to say, but Julianne Moore has always given me a nice ratio-y feeling of both tightness in the pants and standing ovation. It should be noted, however, that I’d probably go all middle school and refrain from participating in the latter were I experiencing the former.

But she’s dynamite. I don’t remember if I saw “The Hand That Rocks the Cradle,” but I seem to be recall it being a successful film. Dug her small role in “The Fugitive,” and I think anyone that starred in both “Boogie Nights” and “The Big Lebowski” deserves massive credit. And a roll in the hay with yours truly, but let’s not get sidetracked.

Julianne Moore has been in many films in the last decade, i.e. “Laws of Attraction,” “Blindness,” and “Hannibal,” but I’m forever moved by her role as Linda Partridge in “Magnolia.” Moore as Partridge in that movie makes me a little too squeamish to even write about it, so have a refresher on the House:



That’s all I can really say about her. She rocks, she’s hot as hell, and she’s been nominated for more -- and won a few -- awards than I care to look up.

11.5. Kevin Spacey

Cecil: Rumor has it that there is something Kevin Spacey is…hiding, shall we say. A secret that, if it were to become common knowledge, would have serious implications for his future employment prospects and potentially change the way America thinks about this fine actor.

That particular secret, if I may use the phrase, has appeared to have “come out of the closet”: yes, it’s true, Kevin Spacey is a wicked asshole who treats waiters like garbage and flouts laws that are only in place to protect the health of the public at large. Also, he likes to fuck dudes.

And while those particular pieces of information might change some minds/confirm some suspicions, they certainly don’t lessen Spacey’s talent.

This, after all, is Keyser Soze. That part alone should secure him a lifetime of steady income, free drinks and exemption from local smoking laws. But there have been so many others: his Oscar turn in American Beauty, his bit as the flashy celebrity detective in "L.A. Confidential," as the killer in "Se7en," the murderer in "Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" -- hell, the late ‘90s were a pretty solid time for ol’ Kev.

He hasn’t done as much recently, evidently spending most of his artistic energies at London’s Old Vic Theatre Company, but when you have as many skins on the wall as he does, you can afford to tread the boards for a while. Kevin Spacey is a hell of an actor and indisputably one of the best of the last 25 years, but you may not want to wait on his table.

7.5. Johnny Depp

Cecil: The thing about Johnny Depp is that the chicks love him. Admit it, especially if you are one. You know it’s true. Those aquiline features, that pouty mouth, that hair…good gravy, I better stop before I give myself a boner.

The other thing about Johnny Depp is that he is a great actor. A seriously committed, boundary -- destroying actor who fits as easily in a Hollywood blockbuster as he does in independent cinema. For every "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequel, there’s an Ed Wood -- only one of the finest movies of the last 20 years -- or a "Chocolat", a "Donnie Brasco" or a "What’s Eating Gilbert Grape?"

Unlike some of the more recognizable big-banksters in the modern movie industry (looking at you, Jack Nicholson) Depp never got lazy and fell into the trap of just playing Johnny Depp in every movie. It would have been easy for him, especially early in his career; say, right after "Edward Scissorhands." But instead of taking such an easy, yet likely still extremely lucrative, way out, he stretched into everything from comedy to police procedural dramas to whacked-out indie fare that film students in clunky black glasses and argyle sweaters line up to watch at midnight showings countrywide. Hell, he’s even gone back to TV for a few voice parts. One of which, hilariously, was in a "SpongeBob SquarePants" episode.

Depp’s certainly got his flaws: his membership in the cult of Hunter S. Thompson has led him to help make Thompson’s widely panned "Rum Diaries" into a movie, for instance, and that isn’t likely to end well. He also supposedly smells really bad. But on the balance, there simply aren’t too many others like him. Remember how the Beastie Boys were in ’89, well-loved by seemingly everyone, regardless of taste or class -- Depp is the Gen X actor version of that, but with a lot more "Paul’s Boutique"s on his resume than "Holy Snappers."

9.5. Harvey Keitel

bankmeister: When I first visited Harvey Keitel’s IMDB page, I was shocked to see how busy the man had been in the last quarter century. Seriously? Ninety projects in the last 25 years? For reals? Without crunching any numbers, I’m mathematically qualified to say that I have not seen the majority of these productions. The ones I have, however, are A-1, top-notch quality. Allow me to mention that I have never seen “Thelma & Louise,” so I am unqualified to comment on the role of Hal in that film. I do, however, know that many a female cinema buff has lauded the project for its authenticity and spontaneity. Moving on. In 1992 a film by the name of “Reservoir Dogs” was released. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. Harvey Keitel played Mr. White, and he played him well. He also co-produced the film.

If you have not seen this film, stop reading right now, and go watch it. It is the symbol of badassery, the archetype for studliness, and a how-to for being a cold-blooded killer. Not that I want you to learn how to be one. I’m just sayin’. If you don’t believe me, see exhibit A:

“When you're dealing with a store like this, they're insured up the ass. They're not supposed to give you any resistance whatsoever. If you get a customer, or an employee, who thinks he's Charles Bronson, take the butt of your gun and smash their nose in. Everybody jumps. He falls down screaming, blood squirts out of his nose, nobody says fucking shit after that. You might get some bitch talk shit to you, but give her a look like you're gonna smash her in the face next, watch her shut the fuck up. Now if it's a manager, that's a different story. Managers know better than to fuck around, so if you get one that's giving you static, he probably thinks he's a real cowboy, so you gotta break that son of a bitch in two. If you wanna know something and he won't tell you, cut off one of his fingers. The little one. Then tell him his thumb's next. After that he'll tell you if he wears ladies underwear. I'm hungry. Let's get a taco.”

For those desiring something briefer: “You shoot me in a dream, you’d better wake up and apologize.”

Obviously, Mr. Keitel did not write those lines, but the manner in which he delivered those gems, and many more, were nothing shy of stellar. Up next, though, is another little bad-ass project I like to call “Pulp Fiction.”

The purpose of this selection is not to debate whether “Reservoir Dogs” was better than “Pulp Fiction,” or the reverse. Both films still gleam with awesomeness, and that debate is for some other guy on some other job. The purpose of this transition, is to illustrate that Mr. Keitel’s role as Winston “The Wolf” Wolfe was a microcosm of his role in “Fiction”; If the Wolfe role is exacerbated to the level of White, the scales of intensity and intimidation balance.

Again, if you have not seen this film, stop reading this instant, and watch it. I doubt that’s necessary, however, as those who’ve not seen it are likely either younger than 15, or older than 60, and the chances of those age groups strolling through the front door of the House are non-existent. But, Wolfe makes his appearance in the storyline as an aces guy, your go-to guy when catastrophe strikes. His task is to facilitate the detailing of a car in which a guy’s head accidentally exploded. He’s got to move quickly, and he’s quick to alert Jules and Vincent who’s in charge:

“Now boys, listen up. We're going to a place called Monster Joe's Truck and Tow. I'll drive the tainted car. Jules, you ride with me. Vincent, you follow in my Acura. We run across the path of any John Q. Laws, nobody does a fucking thing unless I do it first. What did I just say?”

There’s easily 3000 more words we could say about this role, but we’re already into extra innings with Mr. Keitel, and there’s another project of his we must discuss: “Smoke.”

Just as it would be foolish of me to suggest that any of our readers have not viewed “Pulp Fiction” or “Reservoir Dogs,” it would be silly for me to think that all of you have seen “Smoke.” And since that’s the case, we won’t spend too much time on it. I will, however, offer this little nugget: “Smoke” successfully tackled to motif of lives comingling without intention before it became popular, and Keitel, along with fellow cast members Forest Whitaker, William Hurt, and Stockard Channing, made this a really rich piece. The line, “If you can’t share your secrets with your friends, then what kind of friend are you?” is one that succinctly touches on the movie’s theme.

Finally, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention “Inglorious Basterds,” a picture in which Keitel had the smallest of roles. In fact, his face never even makes the screen, but in case you were wondering: Any film with Keitel in it is automatically better than it would’ve been without him.

6. Robert DeNiro

Cecil: Writing a bit about Bobby DeNiro seems somehow unnecessary. What do you all need to be told? That’s he’s arguably the most important American actor of the last three decades? That his body of work is nearly untouchable, a seemingly limitless skein of Oscar-winning and otherwise critically masturbated-over films marred only by the occasional appearance of a Focker? That he and his filmic BFF Martin Scorsese carved what became an entire genre (which I will hereby name “the Rise & Fall of the American Mafioso” unless someone else has already) from the pages of a few tell -- all books and some New York sidewalk scenery?

I mean, yeah, I guess. I’ll get past that requirement by just typing "Goodfellas," "Casino," "Raging Bull," "Mean Streets," "Taxi Driver." There you go. Oh, wait, forgot "Heat," "Godfather II," "A Bronx Tale," "The Untouchables," "Brazil," "Once Upon A Time in America," "Analyze This"…wait, what?

At this point, DeNiro’s greatness --his intense devotion to the Method, his willingness to subsume himself in his parts, his surprisingly genuine capacity for comedy -- seems old hat. We’ve all seen him be Jimmy the Gent in "Goodfellas" a hundred times, heard him as Travis Bickle say “are you…talking to me?” repeated in a thousand situations. It seems lazy to just throw him up near the top of our list, like telling a visitor to New York to see the Empire State Building, selecting whoever the Steelers’ starting center is for the Pro Bowl or claiming Ginger as your favorite Spice girl.

But here’s the thing: there’s no real choice involved. Fact is, you do want to see the Empire State Building. Because it is the motherfucking Empire State Building. The Steelers are always guaranteed to have a badass, potential HoFer at center and what, you were going to choose that toothless chav Sporty? No matter how many Stiller-generated carcasses he throws into the ocean from here on out, there’s simply no denying that we couldn’t make this list without putting DeNiro near the top.

4.5. Denzel Washington

Old No. 7: Good things about Denzel: He’s really good. Strong, forceful presence in every role. Teamed up with Spike Lee to make a series of groundbreaking, powerful films. Seems like a likeable guy.

Bad things about Denzel: He makes a lot of crappy movies, especially lately. Doesn’t have a ton of range, plays a similar guy quite often. Never takes supporting roles, with the exception of his cool turn in Inside Man, which is a pretty awesome film. Lakers fan.

My fun story that’s only tangentially about Denzel Washington goes like this: I was in Canton, Ohio for John Elway’s induction into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2004. Before the Hall of Fame Game between the Broncos and Redskins, I parked next to a group of older African-American gentlemen with Virginia plates, decked out in 'Skins gear. In talking to them, I noticed they all had official-looking VIP badges. Turns out the guy I was haggling with, trying to sell an Elway T-shirt to, was the real life Herman Boone -- the coach Denzel played in "Remember The Titans." He told a fun yarn about being on the sideline for a game at the University of Minnesota when Brad Van Pelt, whose son Bradlee and I concurrently matriculated at Colorado State and who was a the time a rookie QB for the Broncos, tore his jersey. Coach Boone picked up the scrap of Spartan jersey fabric, which said, “Van Pelt,” and hung it on the wall of his workshop at home. I served many a beer to Bradlee Van Pelt when I bartended in college. This is all a roundabout way to say that Denzel Washington is a fine thespian.

4. (two-way tie) Tom Hanks

bankmeister: Tom Hanks was my number-one pick, and trying to summarize his career in a blip of a blog post is a bit of a daunting task. Once, in a graduate-school writers workshop, I made this comment about a colleague’s story: “I really like” that character “because Everyman can relate to him.” My professor killed me, inquiring what “relate” meant, and asking my definition to go into more detail, and the answer to my definition into further detail, and so forth, until he pointed out that, in his opinion, we can’t really “relate” to anyone. We can only have similar experiences, and identify clusters of emotions associated with those particular experiences. At the end of the class, I left the room having appreciated the exercise, feeling like I learned something. I still value his points, but I don’t think humanity is that bleak.

I can relate to the characters -- or at least I think I can -- that Tom Hanks plays, and he plays them well.

We’ll start with “Splash.” We’ve all known love. We’ve known a love that inflated our minds to an expansion we never thought possible. Many of us are familiar with a love so powerful that, when, confronted with the reality of an impossibility within that love, the world literally seems to stop moving. And maybe some of us have pined over the impossibility, ultimately deciding that a plunge into the sea, regardless of science and anatomy is the only logical choice acceptable.

How about “Big”? Not every small boy has wanted to be big, but I’d guess that the majority of us have. I know I did. I also think, were you to tweak a few details, that most girls could relate to this very phenomenon, too. We’ve all seen the film a hundred times, but it’s worth mentioning the scenes where he checks his drawers, where he is presented with unfamiliar foods, where he touches his first boob, or where he remembers again -- and maybe values for the first time -- what it means to be a boy.
I don’t think we need to spend much time on “Sleepless in Seattle.” The whole cast was great in that one. And Hanks killed it in “Philadelphia,” portraying a controversial role in a questionable time. I’ve talked at length about “Forrest Gump,” but will say once more that it’s top three on my all-time-favorite list, and I don’t know that it lands such a high spot if someone else is Gump.

The world of animated films has grown immeasurably in the last 25 years, and there’s something special about being able to identify an inanimate character’s face with the voice of the actor speaking the lines. Woody from “Toy Story” might be the best example out there.

“Saving Private Ryan” might be one of the best films of the century. Hanks gets a ton of that credit, just as he does for his role as Paul Edgecomb in “The Green Mile.” Way underrated film, spectacular performance that delivers an example of the beauty of life, the unidentifiable thing associated with the concept of a miracle.

There are a hundred other things you could say about Hanks, and dozens of projects he’s given us. I enjoyed “Bachelor Party.” Where would such a rite of passage be without the film? “The Man with One Red Shoe” was entertaining, and “The Money Pit” was comical. “The burbs” was an odd role for Hanks, albeit entertaining, and “Turner and Hooch” was easily the best pet-love flick of the generation.

So what is it about him? Does he have the gift of perfect-role selection? Is he a good actor in great slots? Is he a great actor in good slots? Did he become what he became because there was a cinematic void to be filled? I’d argue that it’s a combination of all of it, and that, in the end, the deliveries with which he’s graced Hollywood, are relatable on a very real, very human level.

Philip Seymour Hoffman

Old No. 7: Let’s just call Hoffman the Peyton Manning of actors, only he chokes far less regularly in the postseason. In terms of technical skill, technique and mastery of craft, no other performer can match Hoffman’s body of work. I’m not sure of what their final rankings will be, but the only reason I personally ranked DiCaprio ahead of Hoffman was that Leo has that leading-man “it” quality that Hoffman lacks. The Brady gene to Hoffman’s Manning chromosome, if you will.

Phil started out like a lot of these guys, doing bit parts and TV roles before making the big leagues. I’ll go ahead and select his appearance in "Boogie Nights" as his first major role in my eyes. As the sort-of-gay Scotty hanging on in the porn world, Hoffman nailed a sweet-yet-uncomfortable persona that was to become a trademark. He took another comic turn in the Coen Brothers’ "The Big Lebowski" before getting all serious with his first run of heavy drama and Oscar nominations ("Magnolia," "The Talented Mr. Ripley" and "Flawless").

Does he play a lot of gay dudes? Sure. Am I, paradoxically, both defiantly homophobic and a proud social liberal who supports gay marriage? Absolutely. And so I’m just as on board with Hoffman as I would be if Alex Rodriguez or Tony Gonzalez finally emerged from their closets of shame. If you’re great at what you do, I could care less whose stool you push in.

Luckily, for a more casual stoner film fan like myself, he anchored Cameron Crowe’s "Almost Famous" as rock critic Lester Bangs. That movie could have been terrible, as the rest of the cast was comprised of hacks, but Hoffman essentially made it watchable all by himself. He had kick-ass roles in any number of other praiseworthy movies, like "Punch Drunk Love," "25th Hour", "Cold Mountain," and "Capote." But in my mind, the pinnacle of Philip Seymour Hoffman greatness is "Doubt." He goes toe to toe with fellow legend Meryl Streep, and the quality of both actors’ performances is such that by the end you still don’t know if Hoffman’s Father Flynn is a great guy or a slimy pedophile. Watch it again and again, you still don’t know. That, friends, is good actin’ there. I’m rarely able to convince people that I may not be a child molester.

Also, Hoffman plays Art Howe in the "Moneyball" movie. Uh, sure.

3. Daniel Day-Lewis

bankmeister: Daniel Day-Lewis could be the largest man-crush I’ve ever had. It might’ve been my age, or whatever was going on in my life at the time, but I fell in love with “The Last of the Mohicans” the first time I saw it, and DDL promptly became one of my favorites of the big screen. It would be foolish to attempt to analyze the awards for which he’s been nominated, won, so we won’t. We’ll just pick a few of his roles that fall within our window.

The natural starting point would be “The Unbearable Lightness of Being,” but I can’t really get into that film because I’ve only seen it once. It’s nearly three hours long, fairly intense, and far too historical to adequately cover after one viewing. I think it was one of those loved-it/hated-it, divisive-type films, but I’ll just say I recommend it.

Up next is “My Left Foot,” and, in my estimation, that picture cannot be adequately summarized in either 1000, or 5000 words. Perhaps somewhere in the middle. The picture, though, is amazingly intense and slow at the same time. The way Day-Lewis immersed himself in that role (won Oscar for best actor) is commendable, and something I’ll touch on momentarily. I’ve spent plenty of time discussing “The Last of the Mohicans,” so I’ll move on to “In the Name of the Father,” which might be my all-time favorite DDL role. A largely underrated film, one that wasn’t too successful in the box office, the story behind it is fantastic, DDL’s role (nominated for Oscar, best actor) a can’t miss.

I won’t spend any time on “The Boxer,” because it was way too slow, but DDL delivers another noteworthy performance in it, which brings us to “Gangs of New York.” Historically, Old No. 7 and I almost never agree on anything cinema-related, but we’ve made a couple recent strides. If you put all of our movie talks into a pie chart, “Gangs” would embody the Pac-Man-shaped portion, everything else the open mouth. He hates most everything about it, save DDL, and Leo, I think. He has a much keener eye for all of the inner workings that go into a production. I, on the other hand, can see a performance like Day-Lewis’ in “Gangs,” which was phenomenal we both agree, and determine that such a display of acting thereby makes the film superb.

Bill the Butcher scared the ever-loving snot out of me, and I felt comfortable with my fear. Mind-blowing performance (Oscar-nominated, best actor), bar none.

This leaves us with “There Will Be Blood.” He’s obviously been in other pictures and projects, but that’s not the point. The point centers on this conversation I had with my mother-in-law. She doesn’t like DDL because she “can tell that he gets into his role and stays in it until the picture’s done.” I say that’s the work of pure genius. I didn’t think I’d ever be as intimidated by another role like I was Bill Cutting, let alone a character portrayed by the same actor. DDL’s portrayal of Bill Plainview, however, was disturbing, powerful, and deservedly so, earned him the Oscar for best actor. For my money, Day-Lewis has been one of the top three actors of my lifetime, and I doubt that’ll change anytime soon.

...drum roll, please...

Your number, uh, two-point-five actor in the last 25 years is...

2.5. Leonardo DiCaprio

Old No. 7: I am of the opinion that DiCaprio is the reigning pound-for-pound champ in this gay actor business. Among all the fellows currently drawing checks from studios, he has the title belt. Once derided as the teeny-bopper pretty boy from "Titanic," DiCaprio’s recent run of fucking killing a series of monster roles pushes him to the front of the line.

Here’s the Decade of DiCaprio, from which I’ve excluded such drivel as "Revolutionary Road," "Gangs Of New York," "Catch Me If You Can," "The Aviator," "The Departed," "Blood Diamond," "Shutter Island," "Inception." And even though I’ve argued endlessly with Banky about whether "Gangs" sucks or not (it does), Leo straight smoked every role. If you’re apprehensive about taking your girl to the movies and dropping $50 for uncomfortable seats and some stale popcorn, hold out for a DiCaprio pic. At least you know he’ll bring the goods. Plus your lady might be up for a little action later, I hear the females like the Leo.

Now most of DiCaprio’s streak has occurred under the direction of Martin Scorsese, although Spielberg and Nolan drafted his services as well. I was of the impression that Scorcese was washed up after Casino, but in DiCaprio Marty obviously found the outlet for his genius he’d lacked since he made about 70 pictures with Robert DeNiro. DiCaprio isn’t as much of an intimidating badass as DeNiro was, although his Billy Costigan in The Departed will fuck your shit up twice. But Leo brings an emotional depth and subtlety to his roles that is unmatched.
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The HoG25: The 25 Best Actors of the Past 25 Years, Part I

So this series has taken us the better part of a month -- give or take 18 months -- to get completed, but listen to me now/believe me later when I say we will get it done.

If you're interested, you can browse each of the previous nine two-parters here. If you're not, just know that we draft the pieces of each category, fantasy-sports style, write a blurb about 'em (unless we don't feel like it), rank them (unless it's one of those rather lazy years), and post them. When we rank them, it's usually all three of us, but this time around, only two of us did, which is why you'll see the screwy numbering system. Nevertheless, part one is just past the jump.

24.5: Sissy Spacek

Cecil: I have no goddamned clue what the thought process was behind my selection of Sissy Spacek as one of the Top 25 Actors of the Last 25 Years. None. We did our draft early in the day, so I don’t think I was drunk, but you never know. I mean…really. Sissy Spacek.

I’m not trying to bag on ol’ Sissy unreasonably. She’s a fine actress who has appeared in a shitload of movies, some of which I have even seen. Like "Coal Miner’s Daughter," for instance. I’ve seen that. She really sells the whole “Loretta Lynn was the daughter of a coal miner” thing. She was also in a film called "‘night Mother," which was supposedly really good. Never saw that one. She was in "Carrie," of course, where she did crazy shit with her mind and got pig blood dumped on her and I only know this because my wife’s seen it and told me what happened. (By the by, only one of those movies was made in the last 25 years.)

Uhm…so…ur…well, she played a ruthless political player on "Big Love" a couple of seasons ago. That was pretty swell. And I once interviewed her daughter -— alongside Tom Hanks’ son, which was weird -— who seemed a perfectly fine young lady, if a bit shy. And she’s got red hair. And her name is Sissy. And she probably doesn’t belong on this list.

22. (two-way tie) Clint Eastwood

Cecil: Clint Eastwood is the fucking man. There. If you need to know more, go to the Netflix contraption and fetch yourself "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly," "High Plains Drifter," "The Outlaw Josey Wales," "Unforgiven" and "The Enforcer." I don’t care that all but one (the best one, it should be said) of those movies are outside of our timeline; Clint Eastwood’s greatness transcends your prosaic concept of time.

Clint Eastwood was so badass in the ‘70s that he could cast his girlfriend, a woman with all of the charisma and set presence of a Big-Eyed Loris, in every one of his movies and no one would say boo to him about it. He starred with a chimpanzee in at least one film and yet went on to still be Clint Eastwood. He made a biopic about Charlie Parker and everyone was like, yeah, sure he did that, he is CLINT EASTWOOD.

Clint Eastwood would have been Chuck Norris before Chuck Norris was if Chuck Norris wasn’t such a fucking pussy. If Clint Eastwood had played Roy Hobbs in "The Natural," he would have caught that final ball with his bare hands, thrown it straight through the pitcher’s chest and then stared at his side until it stopped bleeding out of pure fear. Additionally, Clint Eastwood coined a phrase that, to this day, brings to mind the heady mid-‘80s far, far more than any “Where’s the beef?” bullshit. Fuck you, old lady. (Clint Eastwood probably did.)

So, when you queue up those Clint Eastwood films later, make sure you pay attention to the scene toward the end of Drifter, where his Man With No Name stands silhouetted against the burning building, whipping the villain to death while the townsfolk cower, and remember: that really happened. To the last guy that talked shit about Clint Eastwood.

Gary Oldman

Cecil: So I was looking up movies that Gary Oldman had starred in for this blurb I’m writing about how great an actor Gary Oldman is, and I realize that I haven’t seen most of them. The vast majority, in fact.

No, I never saw "Nil By Mouth," the man’s debut as a director/writer, even though it got fantastic reviews and is evidently just the kind of dark, drugged-up chunk of filmic sociopathy which I’d normally seek out. I never saw "JFK," never saw "Dracula," never even saw "The Fifth Element." I’ve seen "Basquiat," which he was evidently in, but the only thing I recall about it, aside from the titular character pouring syrup all over a table and not cleaning up after, was that David Bowie had a role. Old Gary (see what I did there) played Commissioner Gordon in "The Dark Knight," but all anyone remembers about that movie is Heath Ledger and Why so serious? For that matter, and this might surprise those who have met me, I’ve never even seen his turn as Sid Vicious in "Sid & Nancy." Yes, yes, I know. The barrel for me, stat.

But somewhere in the mid ‘90s, around the time of his turns as Drexl Spivey in "True Romance" (“I know I’m pretty, but I ain’t as pretty as no titty”) and as the silent, milk-chugging assassin in "The Professional," both movies I’d actually seen, I assigned him Great Actor Status. Maybe that was just because everyone told me he was one beforehand and I was all like, OK whatevs y’all, you’re the ones with the remote and the drugs…but I don’t think so. I think it was because he actually is one.

Take, for instance, his recurring role as Sirius Black in the "Harry Potter" movies, which after an initial burst of candyassed rainbow-fucking (thanks, Chris Columbus) have tracked the novels in their steadily increasing darkness. Oldman’s Black is one constant strained grimace, a man whose wrongful imprisonment and personal losses are etched permanently upon even his occasional, pained smile. If you can stand out in a collection of talent that includes Alan Rickman, Dame Maggie Smith and Ralph Fiennes without relentlessly chomping scenery, then you win a prize from the HoG, and that prize is this blurb. Why, it’s almost as if it were White Boy Day (it ain’t White Boy Day, is it?)

21. Will Ferrell

Old No. 7: It’s hard to make a great comedy, and some would argue that it’s much harder than making a great drama. As someone who has tried unsuccessfully to make people laugh my entire life, the idea of attempting a career in comedy is terrifying. If you can pull it off, you have my infinite respect.

I understand that Will Ferrell is not a “great” actor per se. But our standards for measuring greatness in acting talent are drawn almost exclusively from judging dramas. Oscars go to dramas and dramatic actors, while comic actors such as Ferrell are seen as goofballs. Tell me a joke, clown. But I felt that we needed representation on this list from someone who manufactures the funny, and to me Ferrell has had a better career than Eddie Murphy, Adam Sandler, Jim Carrey, Chris Rock, Chris Farley, Robin Williams, Ben Stiller, Mike Myers or Robin Williams.

"Anchorman" is quite simply a masterpiece, and Ron Burgundy is one of the finest characters ever created. "Old School" and "Talladega Nights" are pretty classic, and Ferrell did a ton of great work on "Saturday Night Live" and an endless string of funny cameos. Just like Sandler, he made his single requisite drama. Although "Punch Drunk Love" is a better movie, Ferrell himself turned in a finer performance in "Stranger Than Fiction." He’s made some shit, of course -- "Kicking And Screaming" is a God-awful movie. He can be abrasive and annoying. But all in all Will Ferrell gets it done.

18. (two-way tie) Glenn Close

Cecil: Glenn Close is a hell of an actress and seems like the kinda lady who’d enjoy slamming back a few whiskey sours. This is important: much like the President of the United States must always be an individual that every American man wants to drink a beer, go duck hunting and then Eiffel Tower a high-priced escort with, my definition of what makes a great actress is heavily reliant on the “would she go out to the bar with me?” factor.

So, for instance: Angelina Jolie is not a great actress. She’d order a bottled water, glance around for any unattended brown children and then, quite possibly, stab me. Cate Blanchett, not a great actress. She’d sip Earl Grey, regard me with a steely contempt, leave without saying a word and then return a few minutes later to stab me. Nicole Kidman, not a great actress. Straight to the stabbing. Plus she’s Australian so she’s probably carrying a motherfucker of a knife.

Now, Dame Judi Dench? Imperial pints of cider in the afternoon. Kathie Bates? Shots of bourbon in a biker bar followed by a spirited game of darts. Meryl Streep? A six-pack of wine coolers beneath the school bleachers, some tonsil hockey and then an unfortunate oh-no-you-just-puked-on-my-new-British Knights. You know, actresses.

Glenn Close fits that bill. Her screen work has been relatively low-key over the last few years -- her biggest star turns were in the mid-to-late ‘80s, in big box fare like "Dangerous Liaisons" and "Fatal Attraction" -- as she’s clearly chosen to do more voice-overs and television (and raunchy Navy videos) but she’s still a five-time Oscar nominee who has embodied some of the more memorable characters in recent film history and is unquestionably deserving of her place on this list. That, and I think she might wanna hoist one after the awards ceremony.

Tim Robbins

bankmeister: If there’s some continuity with my picks in this category, it’d be this: Of all my picks, the actors I’ve selected have really not played a role I’ve seen that I disliked. Tim Robbins is no exception. Boring tidbit about my cognitive capacities: I think it took most of 15 years before I no longer confused the last names and spellings of Tom Robbins the author, and the actor I’m about to discuss. Huh?, you might ask. But…they’re spelled the same. Yeah. I know. Took me 15 years to remember that.

We’ll start, though, with a film that severely messed with my mind—Wait a minute: Time. Out. Tim Robbins was Merlin in “Top Gun?” Well, screw me gently with a chainsaw. Never knew it. (Side note: He was also in “Howard the Duck,” “Bull Durham,” and “Jungle Fever,” if that “Top Gun thing caught you off guard.) (Side note to side note: Dude was also in “St. Elsewhere,” “Hardcastle & McCormick,” “The Love Boat,” “Hill Street Blues,” and “Moonlighting” on the TVs.) But back to my forever-scarred brain: “Jacob’s Ladder.” Side note to side note to side note: How in Christ’s heav’n’above did we leave Top Gun out of our HoG25 movies installment? The horror…

I’m no film expert, but I’d guess that this might’ve been his first major leading role. And he crushed it. I won’t get into plot specifics because I might wind up like old boy from “Fire in the Sky” just thinking about it, but Jacob Singer was in Vietnam. The U.S. government had a chemist create some form of acid that would bring out immeasurably aggressive tendencies in soldiers. They took it in an experiment, and there were a few adverse effects. This film is about Singer feeling the aftermath of said of said effects, and it is wicked, frightening, and unnerving. I can’t imagine a more perfect actor to play Singer than Robbins.

We’ve mentioned “Jungle Fever,” and covered the “Hudsucker Proxy," but perhaps his most famous role came as one Andy Dufresne. Yes, we’ve all seen that one. It’s on the TVs eight times a week, and I’ll go on record as saying it’s one of those films I never turn the channel away from. And I freaking own a copy of it. Great story. Rock-solid delivery. There are numerous other Robbins roles to cover, but for the sake of brevity, we’ll note performances in “Arlington Road” and “High Fidelity,” and we’ll move on to “Mystic River,” where I think is a recent enough point that we -- at least us semi-regular movie-goers -- can all agree that we’ve seen it and remember it fairly well.

The trio of Sean Penn, Robbins, and Kevin Bacon in this film deliver a punch-packed dynamic I doubt any other three actors could replicate. Naturally, Robbins’ role is the confused character, the guy who cannot, in an effort to try and understand his circumstances, possibly exert another ounce of mental energy without collapse. His performance as Dave Boyle is spot-on, and, as it turns out, he won an Oscar for it.

17.5. Patrick Swayze

Old No. 7: In recognizing The Swayze on this list we are not building a monument to his talent. This is The Swayze we’re talking about here, not Brando or Olivier. Nor are we overvaluing him out of sentimentality due to his untimely death. If that were the case this list would be littered with the likes of Christopher Reeve and Michael Landon, and I didn’t wait in line to buy tickets for those dudes before they croaked. No, in honoring The Swayze we honor watchably bad cinema of the highest low caliber.

And when it comes to good-bad movies, it’s difficult to surpass "Road House" and "Point Break." This award could have just as easily gone to Keanu Reeves, except "Bill & Ted.." was actually awesome and some would say that "The Matrix" saga is as well. Plus, with Keanu it’s a little bit hard to tell if he understands just how awful he is or when he’s immersed in a completely craptastic movie.

I guess this is always the question, are people like The Swayze or those that help make his movies aware of their awfulness? I was listening to some radio program a while back, I’d give credit if I remembered to whom to give it. The hosts discussed Nicolas Cage in general and "Con Air" in specific, wondering if Cage and the filmmakers are in on the joke. If you haven’t seen it, "Con Air" is stupendously, spectacularly, literally laughably bad, and the consensus was that, yes, the guys that made it know it.

I don’t know if The Swayze acted in "Road House" with the knowledge that it would become a classic for all the wrong reasons. If you held a gun to my head, I’d say that he was sincere, that he honestly tried to make Dalton the most bad-ass bouncer in Hollywood history, and I think that’s totally awesome.

17. (two-way tie) George Clooney

Old No. 7: I was derisively mocked by my colleagues for selecting Clooney (and later Brad Pitt) after DiCaprio. These guys, obviously, are widely seen as hunks first and seriously talented actors second. But if you’ll allow me to craft my spirited defense of the thespian skill of one George Clooney, I’ll deliver you both a spot-on analysis of his worth and a reason to believe Cecil and Bank don’t know beans about the film game.

Clooney, you see, is a throwback to another age in cinema. A time when Cary Grant, Clark Gable and John Fucking Wayne took no shit and dictated to the world what an American man was. Smoking, banging broads and littering were required, and no killjoy wet blanket fun police were around to send everyone home.

What’s wrong with an old-fashioned leading man? A guy’s guy? I say nothing. And Clooney plays that part as well as anyone. But I don’t think this highly of him simply because he can function as Daniel Ocean in a tuxedo and swill Scotch. Uh, I can do that, and at weddings across America I have. No, Clooney sold me on his actual chops in a pair of Coen Brothers’ pics, "Oh brother Where Art Thou?" and "Intolerable Cruelty." In these, Clooney showed he can do musical and slapstick comedy, genres outside the range of many actors on our list. He’s not just a pretty face, you cynical jerks.

Samuel L. Jackson

bankmeister: Lemme just say that it’s probably a shame that I was able to nab Samuel Leroy with the 11th pick in the 12th round of this HoG25 buffoonery. My colleagues are superior wordsmiths, and would’ve assuredly done the man better justice. Having said that is Ess Elle Jay really that elite of an actor, or has he simply been chosen for some remarkable roles, and really delivered on them? We’ve talked about Harvey Keitel’s role in “Pulp Fiction,” and it would be a sin to omit a sermon of equal praise for Jackson’s stunning part in the film, but we can’t spend too much time on one piece, so we’ll actually leave Jules out of this write-up. He played Carl Lee Haley in “A Time to Kill,” which was a good movie, even if we were made to suffer through Matthew McConaughey and Sandra Bullock. Jackson’s role was key to the storyline, but since he spent the bulk of it in the can, there’s not a ton we can say about it.

I’ve also discussed episodes I, II, and III of the "Star Wars" sextet, and it would be silly to rehash those films, even though I thought it cool of Jackson to take interest in a series whose original three parts predated his prime. Also, it sucks that he had to be another black guy in another film that gets killed off, but let’s not pick nits. I didn’t see “Shaft,” but I know it had a small cult following, so I can assume his Pulp Fictionesque mentality was similar, only heavier on the pimp juice. “Kill Bill Volume II” featured Jackson in a miniscule role, and then there was “Coach Carter,” which I’ll refrain from commenting on.

“Snakes on a Plane” was a God-damn abortion. Period. Like Keitel, he had an off-screen role in “Inglorious Basterds,” and beyond that, I didn’t see “Die Hard: With a Vengeance” or “Unbreakable.” I will give him props for “True Romance,” “Menace II Society,” “Juice,” “Do the Right Thing,” and of course, “Goodfellas,” but none of those roles were, by any means, massive. Hell, I’ll even give him some for “Coming to America.”
What remains, though, is either a question or a statement. If it’s the latter, it’s this: Someone more qualified on Jackson’s big-screen career should’ve written this, and if it’s the former, then: Does Samuel L. Jackson belong in this category?

15.5. Steve Buscemi

Cecil: Mere words aren’t enough to communicate the man-love I have for Mr. Steve Buscemi, which blows for me because I don’t have another way to get this information across to you. Semaphore flags or hand signals might work, I guess, but I’m not on a ship and you’re still tied to the sofa. So, anyway.

Giving Steve Buscemi the credit that Steve Buscemi deserves should be the business of the United States Government, not all this foreign entanglement bric-a-brac with the Libya and the Wikileaks and the Godless Japanese. We should be praying to Steve Buscemi’s image five times daily, orienting ourselves toward "Fargo" at each. Forget the fact that he’s really only a featured performer in a handful of films, that’s a handful we should be celebrating: "Reservoir Dogs," "Fargo" (see what I did a sentence earlier? Eh?), "The Big Lebowski." Brilliant cameos too numerous to count. So much voice work that it’s easy to forget that syrupy kid-animation you’re dozing off to is being voiced by Mr. Pink. Several seasons of "The Sopranos," currently Nucky Thompson on Scorsese’s excellent "Boardwalk Empire," even a spot on "The Equalizer" in 1987. Fuck, I loved that show.

Steve Buscemi, for all of the instant physical picture the name paints, with the teeth and the sallow and the murderous smile, doesn’t get his just desserts as an actor. This list is heavy on pretty people with long strings of box office smashes on their resumes: let’s make room for an odd-looking dude who steals every film he appears in.

14.5. Brad Pitt

Old No. 7: Brad Pitt I've liked most of the movies that Brad Pitt has made, particularly what he's done with David Fincher. Fincher's right up there among the greatest directors working right now, and for a while he and Pitt collaborated closely, like Martin Scorcese did with Robert DeNiro and then Leonardo DiCaprio. Benjamin Button was no great shakes, but "Se7en" and particularly "Fight Club" were excellent. I don't get too deep into what the most "important" movie of any particular generation might be, but in my movie-watching life I can think of three contenders: "Fight Club," "The Social Network" (both by Fincher) and Quentin Tarantino's "Pulp Fiction."

Pitt did his turn with Tarantino too, of course, in "Inglorious Basterds." Like most all of Pitt's films, it's pretty funny, pretty interesting, and pretty cool. Pitt's not the funniest comic actor, but he's not bad. He's not the most bad ass villain or most heroic good guy either, but he's competent and gives enough weight to each performance to make you feel like you're not wasting time watching it.

14. Harrison Ford

bankmeister: Drafting Harrison Ford for this installment was tough because, if you stick with the 25-year window, you’re not allowed to include episodes four, five, and six of “Star Wars.” Nor are you allowed to include “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” These are serious handicaps.” Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” was not a good movie. I mean, we all loved Short Round, and we were all creeped out by the heart-removal scene, but it was pretty bad. I’m also a bit handicapped because I haven’t seen a fair amount of his films, but the ones I have are good enough to warrant placement in this group.

Let’s start with “The Mosquito Coast.” A bit of a different role for Ford in some senses in that it did not receive the accolades that many of Ford’s projects did, it was called boring by some, and at the same time, it rode high on emotion, which will sell the tickets to the heavy-hearted. “Regarding Henry.” Great flic. A little sappy, and maybe slow in parts, but who better an actor would you nab to portray a selfish, semi-egomaniacal doctor who gets shot, and must relearn to live his life in, basically, its entirety. Lots of good life lessons, the catchphrase “gotta get me some o’ that,” and really, just a feel-good story, for which I will always be first in the hook-the-sap line.

“Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” restored the Jones trilogy to the level it deserved with the initial installment, and Ford, along with co-star Sean Connery, was nothing shy of fantastic in it. Ford delivered compelling roles in both “Presumed Innocent” and “What Lies Beneath,” and some would argue his bits in the Tom Clancy novels-turned-films were above-average, but it is the role of Dr. Richard Kimble that warrants ultimate inclusion for Ford on this list. Yes, “The Fugitive.” One of the greatest films of the last quarter century. If you haven’t seen it a solid half-dozen times, you’re doing yourself a disservice.

13. (two-way tie) John Cusack

Cecil: John Cusack didn’t start out as a great actor, he started out as a nerd in John Hughes movies and as the star of Savage Steve Holland vehicles ("One Crazy Summer," "Better Off Dead") that, while idealized by tousle-headed geeks such as myself, were hardly cinematic triumphs. Sure, his role as Hoops McCann in "Summer" was poignant and reminiscent of the best of Olivier, but Bobcat Goldthwaite was in that movie. Sir Laurence never had to work with Bobcat Goldthwaite.

The genius of Cusack’s career has been that he didn’t just grow out of those movies, he grew upward -- he’s notorious for not taking big money crap roles (uh, you leave "Con Air" and "2012" out of this) over the smaller, artier stuff, and his personal canon reflects that: "The Grifters," "Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil," "Being John Malkovich," "High Fidelity." He started honing that outsider/everyman persona as early as 1989’s "Say Anything" --a movie that will still drop the panties of most any straight woman in her mid-to-late ‘30s -- and by the time of "Fidelity" he could teach a master class on it. More than any other actor on this list, with the exception of DeNiro, Cusack’s work evokes a certain type.

Even when his movies are bad -- and lately, they have been -- John Cusack is almost always the best thing in them.

Meryl Streep

Old No. 7: I'm not trying to make some sort of social statement by selecting Meryl Streep on a list that's dominated by dudes. She's no Jackie Robinson, just a damn fine actor. While she's taken some goofy roles in a few chick flics, all in all she just flat out kicks ass in dramas with immaculate preparation, intense manipulation of dialogue, and an underrated knack for comedic timing.

Meryl Streep has been nominated for 16 Academy Awards in the last 22 years, which is kind of incomprehensible. Her finest role was probably in "Sophie's Choice," but she's fantastic in her more recent efforts: "Julie & Julia," "Doubt" and "The Devil Wears Prada." And with that, I'm pretty sure I qualify as a full-fledged homosexual.

There's our first installment. Next up: The top ten. I mean, 11.
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