Pittsburgh, Where Old People Die And Hollywood Looks For Inbreeding

The news just emerged that Myron Cope has just received his credentials for the Great Press Box In The Sky. Cope was the gravel-voiced radio announcer for Steelers games since they were the Cleveland Steamers of the old Confederalist Foot Ball Conference back in 1821. Every Midwestern team has a Myron Cope, in Kansas City his name is Bill Grigsby. People from Pittsburgh love Myron Cope, so they are sad today. The rest of us know that people from Pittsburgh have sex with their own kids, so who gives a shit if old Myron kicked the bucket? Fuck Pittsburgh.

Well, it turns out that Myron Cope also invented the Terrible Towel, so he reserves a HoG obituary alongside the future deaths of Obama Osama Bin Laden and the guy who invented scrambled porn. At the 2005 AFC Championship game, I saw one Broncos fan try to set a Terrible Towel on fire, which would have been a good idea if he'd ignited the Towel's owner as well. I hate those things. And for all we know Myron Cope wrote that awful "Here We Go" polka song that burns in my brain. I think Myron Cope should advance straight to hell.

In happier Pittsburgh news, someone is filming a movie that deals with a bunch of inbred mountain people from West Fuckin Virgina. So where are the producers looking for inbred mountain people to populate the cast of the film? You got it. It says that "regular-looking children need not apply." I think you came to the right place. Here we go...