Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wednesday Whatnot: Tradition Week

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the rough focus of this blog was the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos. Those were the days of old, when the Chiefs, represented by yours truly, tried to lose more games per season than the Detroit Lions, and the Broncos, pulled for by Cecil and Old No. 7, consistently toyed with division titles and playoff appearances. As per both football clubs, not much has changed on either front. As for this blog, things have begun to trickle down a very clogged drain.

And that's okay, because ultimately, we're still going strong (nine years and counting now) with The Tradition, wherein the Colorado crew matriculates out to Kansas City for the oft-times up-in-the-air game at Arrowhead Stadium, and I and my fellow Chief representatives, make our way out to InVesCo Field at Mile High Stadium for the annual loss. This Tradition is inconvenient, expensive, heavy on the smack talk, and light on the sobriety. And we love the shit out of it.

This season is an odd one, in that the Chiefs, having coughed up the ball four times last Sunday at Qualcomm Stadium, all but mathematically eliminated themselves for post-season competition. Denver, still very much in the hunt, must show up big for each of their remaining contests. The peculiarity comes in the form of this, however: Both clubs have pretty much closed out division play before meeting each other once. The caveat here is that Denver still has to host Oakland on December 20, but they've played them once and San Diego twice. Kansas City is done with both the Chargers and the Raiders. This almost never occurs, but it makes for an interesting twist in that it's like a home/home in hockey, or it's like the Cubs playing all of their Cardinals game in September, or the Red Sox and Yankees going all season without playing each other until summer's over. You get the drift.

So, in a standings sense, due to the ongoing rebuilding project known as the Kansas City Chiefs, these two winter games mean nothing. But, in terms of Tradition, and good, old-fashioned good times, they mean everything. They. Are. Awesome.

They are, however missing something. It's a special little something, something that not everyone is in agreeance with me on, but something I'll pimp, nonetheless. And it's the commentator.

Why, when I'll be in attendance, would I care about the commentating? Well, it's for the pleasure of the viewers at home. This commentating comes in the form of the best thing televised football has seen in a long, long time. And it looks a litle something like this:

That's right. Jon effin' Gruden. He's taken a ton of crap from the blogosphere this season, but let me tell you this, plain and simple: He rules. Nicknames, volume, experience, dialogue, the guy's got it all. Trash him or his style if you want, but for my money, Jon Gruden kicks all the ass.


Cecil said...

Gruden is terrible. He's a cliche machine who switches verbal blowjobs mid-suck. Plus, he exaggerates the face thing to look more like a killer puppet.

The Broncos are going to bring the funk like Maceo this Sunday. And I'mma be daaaannnncin' in my Arrowhead seat...

bankmeister said...

Nonsense. He invents killer phrases that later become cliches. And there's no one more qualified around to give props to current coaches and players; he knows them all.

Broncos will bring more December loss action.