Thursday, December 31, 2009

Thursday ThumbTubes: From the Vault



I'd love to sit here and wax poetic about the reasons why it'd be awesome for the Chiefs to get a win on Sunday, but I'm gonna leave all that time and effort to the more professional sports bloggers. Instead, post-hop, some classic StubTube action. Be safe out there.

Some vintage Iron Mike:

"Spinal"



"Pussy"



What's up, Big Herm?



Two coaches, spanning a decade now, have not been able to get their guys to play to win the game at InVesCo Field and Mile High Stadium. Will Todd Haley be any different?

Of course, Coach Doogie has a different version of that mantra...



Do you need a reason to re-post the AI Practice Press Hop?



Of course you don't.

Let's go, Chiefs. Let's go win.
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Sunday Forecast

If you're headed to Sunday's Chiefs-Broncos game, Cecil says the weatherman's calling for "a high of 37 degrees, low of 14" with skies looking "cloudy, turning into a storm in the afternoon/evening," so my advice is to bring your long johns and your thoughts of sunny beaches.



It's gon' be cold.

(photo courtesy of What Would Tyler Durden Do)
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The Envelope Please...

Joining the ranks of Denver's Brian Dawkins, New England's Tom Brady, and Tampa Bay's Carnell Williams, it's...



...Brodie Croyle representing the Kansas City Chiefs for the 2009 Ed Block Courage Award.

Bro-die! Bro-die! Bro-die!
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Insert Token Mike Cox Joke

I'm not interested in getting into a caption-this type of interaction, but I couldn't resist posting this photo:



It comes courtesy of Arrowhead Pride, and...

...should warrant a few chuckles, from a solid two of the three of you.
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Tuesday Tidbits: Damn, Homes

We've never claimed to be cutting edge, so I'm unsure how old this video is, but I saw it on Sunday and decided that you should peep it, too:

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy




It doesn't mean I'll be watchin' any "Jersey Shore" anytime soon, and I ain't, by any stretch, condoning girl punching; I leave that up to the roster of the Denver Broncos. Anyhoo, ol' girl got knocked the f**k out!
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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Tuesday Tidbits: A Predominantly Orange Julius


I'm supposed to be talking about why the Jason Kendall signing was the worst in Dayton Moore's tenure as Royals GM, but I gotta get this two-week-old post out there first. It comes from Kim Constantinesco over at Predominantly Orange, and is cleverly titled "Why Being a Broncos Fan Is Better Than Being a Chiefs Fan." The list, with commentary, after the jump.

1. It’s been so long since the Chiefs have won a Super Bowl that they decided to bring in Mike Vrabel just to admire his rings. (Note: Good one. Don't lists like this usually start with 10 and work down to 1? Know the other thing about Mike Vrabel? He was free.)

2. Larry Johnson was released from the Chiefs because he used the C-word. “Chiefs.” (That's a great joke right there. 'C-word.' And, then, see? She made it seem like Chiefs is the curse word.)

3. The main tornado shelter in Kansas City is at Arrowhead. After all, they never get a touchdown there. (On the one hand, I'm sure you could use any stadium for the purposes of this joke, but it actually did make me chuckle...mostly because it's true...which makes we cry a little bit. So, thanks, Kim, for making me cry. In actuality, the Chiefs have not scored a touchdown in any stadium in the first quarter this season, and I think that streak goes back into one of last season's games, which makes me just a touch insane. Just a touch.)

4. The one time VP for player personnel for the Patriots, Scott Pioli, is now GM for the Chiefs. Before being hired in January, he thought about taking an easier job like turning water into wine. (Wait a minute: Is this implying that turning the Chiefs into a championship-caliber franchise will be a difficult task? Well that's just not very nice.)

5. Former Charger, Chris Chambers, is now a Chief. I hear he joined because he wants to retire early. (I just flat out don't get this one. Retire early? Like, he won't play in Kansas City? That'd be hilarious if he didn't lead the club in receptions, receiving yards, and receiving touchdowns since getting here.)

6. Tony Gonzales saved a man from choking in a restaurant. If only he could’ve done the same thing for the Chiefs. (Wow. There are so many things wrong with this. Where shall we start? Oh, I know: the spelling of the player's name. C'mon, Kim. Really? The restaurant joke? 'Round here ol' Tony gets pelted with jokes about being gay and liking the prison showers. This ain't Triple-A, girl. And where was it that the Chiefs choked? Choking implies that you're playing for something important, something on the line.)

7. KC Wolf is better than half the players on the Chiefs’ defensive line. (I'll leave this one alone in that the Chiefs D is actually not very good. I will, of course take opportunity to point out that a commenter in the post said this: "I still contend that thing is not a wolf. I seriously thought it was a mouse until I read that a year ago," which is at least consistent with my colleagues, who call it "The Rat." I say, call KC Wolf what you will. Regardless of his name, he'll kick the living snot out of Miles any day.)

8. A Kansas City judge has allowed a man to be temporarily released from jail to see Sunday’s game. The judge felt watching the Chiefs play four quarters was equivalent to at least two years in prison. (See comments on number three.)

9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mike Cox. Mike Cox who? Mike Cox is better than yours. Lame name. (Kim -- Mike Cox is less than engorged at your efforts at Mike Cox humor. Not only that, but it's Mike Cox is the antithesis of a lame name.)

10. Arrowhead Stadium was approved for renovations which will be completed in 2011. They’re able to fund the project with all the money they save by not fielding a football team. (Huh? You mean taxes? Whatever you mean is fine. If you like, c'mon out to the 'Head sometime. Our stadium at one-third capacity is louder than yours is full.)

And what better way to cap such an awesome post off then the ol':

"Go Broncos!"

Them's some original good times.


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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Saturday Studmuffins: Groegany Jazschnansky



This post comes on yesterday's heels. It is in regards to the Kansas City Royals signing catcher Jason Kendall to a two-year deal. It is also in regards to Twitter, and three Royals fans I follow within the Twitterspheres, and my ongoing love-hate relationship with the beast known as the Tweet machine. The three dudes are easily the most-informed baseball guys I barely know, and I rely heavily on their access and knowledge to keep me up to speed with what the organization is doing. They, in no particular order, are Rany Jazayerli, Joe Posnanski, and Greg Schaum, and together comprise the first multi-personaged Saturday Studmuffin. Most importantly, though, the impetus for this now-over post, is how the Kendall signing, in my opinion, is by far the worst in Dayton Moore's tenure. The final thoughts are still brewing, and they, along with some key Tweets, will be posted shortly.


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Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thursday ThumbTubes: Oldie But Goodie



The crew over at Arrowhead Pride just never stops delivering. Great stuff from them all the time. This clip has drive-on-drive highlights from the famous '94 game at the Old Mile High. Lots of familiar names, and lots of terrible post-game gear for the winning team. But most of all, at the 1:00 mark, some 15-year-old home cookin' that the Chiefs were luckily able to overcome.

It's been a minute since the Chiefs were any good, but I still love this rivalry, if you can still call it that.

For other interesting reads over at AP, check out this brief fan Q&A, this piece on Denver Head Coach Josh McDaniels talking about Chiefs quarterback Matt Cassel, and this piece on Cassel talking about McDaniels.
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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Wednesday Whatnot: Tradition Week

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, the rough focus of this blog was the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos. Those were the days of old, when the Chiefs, represented by yours truly, tried to lose more games per season than the Detroit Lions, and the Broncos, pulled for by Cecil and Old No. 7, consistently toyed with division titles and playoff appearances. As per both football clubs, not much has changed on either front. As for this blog, things have begun to trickle down a very clogged drain.

And that's okay, because ultimately, we're still going strong (nine years and counting now) with The Tradition, wherein the Colorado crew matriculates out to Kansas City for the oft-times up-in-the-air game at Arrowhead Stadium, and I and my fellow Chief representatives, make our way out to InVesCo Field at Mile High Stadium for the annual loss. This Tradition is inconvenient, expensive, heavy on the smack talk, and light on the sobriety. And we love the shit out of it.

This season is an odd one, in that the Chiefs, having coughed up the ball four times last Sunday at Qualcomm Stadium, all but mathematically eliminated themselves for post-season competition. Denver, still very much in the hunt, must show up big for each of their remaining contests. The peculiarity comes in the form of this, however: Both clubs have pretty much closed out division play before meeting each other once. The caveat here is that Denver still has to host Oakland on December 20, but they've played them once and San Diego twice. Kansas City is done with both the Chargers and the Raiders. This almost never occurs, but it makes for an interesting twist in that it's like a home/home in hockey, or it's like the Cubs playing all of their Cardinals game in September, or the Red Sox and Yankees going all season without playing each other until summer's over. You get the drift.

So, in a standings sense, due to the ongoing rebuilding project known as the Kansas City Chiefs, these two winter games mean nothing. But, in terms of Tradition, and good, old-fashioned good times, they mean everything. They. Are. Awesome.

They are, however missing something. It's a special little something, something that not everyone is in agreeance with me on, but something I'll pimp, nonetheless. And it's the commentator.

Why, when I'll be in attendance, would I care about the commentating? Well, it's for the pleasure of the viewers at home. This commentating comes in the form of the best thing televised football has seen in a long, long time. And it looks a litle something like this:



That's right. Jon effin' Gruden. He's taken a ton of crap from the blogosphere this season, but let me tell you this, plain and simple: He rules. Nicknames, volume, experience, dialogue, the guy's got it all. Trash him or his style if you want, but for my money, Jon Gruden kicks all the ass.
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