Thursday, June 11, 2009

Baseball In The Daytime: June 11 2009

Lots and lots and lots of day baseball today, kids, including one game that may have already started. If we're lucky it's raining in Miami--not at all a stretch--and we technically won't miss our deadline.

Grab a glove and a chew and join the action in progress, after the jump...

St. Louis @ Florida, 10:10 Mountain It's still really odd to me that Jimmy Buffett bought the naming rights to the stadium the Dolphins and Marlins call home. Today all the Parrotheads will feast on a tilt featuring the reeling Cardinals and the water-treading Fish, headlined by Todd Wellemeyer and big lefty Andrew Miller. I like mine with lettuce and tomato.

Pittsburgh @ Atlanta, 11:00 The two clubs that tangled in that epic 1992 NLCS (nice throw, Barry) wrap up a midweek series at the Ted. Nate McClouth had a few awkward moments, seeing as how he was a Pirate til the Bucs swapped him to the Braves a week ago. Today McClouth gets in his hacks against Paul Maholm, while the young Swashbucklers try to touch up Javier Vazquez.

Detroit @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Edwin Jackson has some sort of magic touch. Once the top prospect in the vaunted Dodger farm system, he battled control issues and got himself shipped to Tampa, then a baseball backwater. The desperate Rays put him in the rotation and soon found themselves in the World Series. Then those ungrateful hacks traded Edwin to Detroit and fell back to fourth place, while the Tigers are in first and Edwin is dealing (6-3, 2.16 ERA, 0.98 WHIP). Tinker with the powers of Edwin Jackson at your own peril, Gavin Floyd.

Colorado @ Milwaukee, 12:05 Who's the hottest team in all of baseball? Why, it's the Colorado Rockies, who bagged their seventh straight win last night. Aaron Cook is entrusted with the dirty underwear and other paraphernalia of superstition at Miller Park this afternoon, while Brewers ace Yovanni Gallardo attempts to slump-bust.

Chicago Cubs @ Houston, 12:05 I don't care what you say, or what your stupid "statistics" say, or what Dontrelle Willis does on the mound. Russ Ortiz is the worst pitcher in baseball, bar none. End of debate. Russ Ortiz is so bad that I put Milton Bradley in my starting fantasy lineup today, a move usually reserved for times of war. Ryan Dempster, if you can't beat Russ Ortiz you may want to try badminton.

Minnesota @ Oakland, 1:35 Nick Blackburn and Trevor Cahill get things going in this game, and all of a sudden I wish more ballplayers wore a handlebar moustache.

San Francisco @ Arizona, 1:40 I really like strikeouts. Love 'em. Not for a batter, of course--worst thing you can do--but when I'm watching pitchers pitch there's nothing I love better than generating a whiff. I know, they build up the pitch count and Crash Davis says they're fascist, but fuck Costner, give me the high gas. That's my way of setting up Jonathan Sanchez versus Max Scherzer at Bailed Out Bank Stadium today, both of these kids can rack up those "K" placards on a ballpark railing.

Cincinnati @ Washington, 2:35 You may be asking yourself: Did Old No. 7, hopeless loser baseball nerd that he is, watch the MLB Draft Tuesday night? I did. As television spectacle, it was about the worst thing you could ever imagine. But the two clubs playing here had a good night--DC snared Steven Strasburg, only the GREATEST AMATEUR PITCHER EVER SCOTT BORAS OMG!!! while the Reds selected Mike Leake out of Arizona State. Strasburg throws 103 MPH and has a 27-inch penis and will cost up to $50 million to sign. Leake is a more subdued, Greg Maddux-style, location-and-movement arm. You'll be reading about them in Baseball In The Daytime in 2011 (or sooner), but for today you're stuck with Micah Owings and John Lannan. Sorry. Have a few beers and it'll look like Greinke-Verlander, then Play Ball!

2 comments:

bankmeister said...

My feelings couldn't possibly be more hurt.

Signed,
Jeff Suppan

Cecil said...

Rox win 8th in a row. Dang.