Friday, May 15, 2009

Baseball In The Daytime: May 15 2009

I don't care what calendars and meteorologists say, summer has arrived when the Cubs play on Friday afternoon. Even though they caved into the forces of "change" and "science" (actually, it was nothing more than sleazy capitalism) by installing lights at Wrigley, the Cubs have held on to one last vestige of tradition--if they're home on the weekends they play a day game on Friday. No one else does this, and it's cool. Sure, once in a while you'll get a weather-induced doubleheader on Friday, but otherwise this is all that's available for Baseball In The Daytime.

So follow me, folks, to the Friendly Confines, after the jump...

Houston @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 I really dislike the Astros, and it didn't have to be this way. Drayton McLane owns this team, and he could have sold it to someone less distasteful and bought something else, like Greenland. McLane thinks he invented baseball, and that his team is always on the verge of winning the World Series. Let me tell you something, old man: Your team blows right now. You're too old, too slow and you employ Russ Ortiz. Russ Ortiz! That guy was washed up by the 2002 World Series, he bankrupted the Giants, Braves and D'Bags, and you gave him a job.

Today, because one-fifth of your rotation is Russ Ortiz, you must start Brian Moehler against Randy Wells and the Cubs. Now Moehler isn't good either, but compared to Russ Ortiz he's fucking Bob Gibson.

Moving on to Wells, Sweet Lou Piniella has some rotation-management delusion of his own. Lou is, for some reason, infatuated with Wells. He's sent Jeff Samardzija to the minors and Sean Marshall to the pen to make room for him, when both of those guys are perfectly fine pitchers. Perhaps Lou's right and I'm an idiot, and Randy Wells will throw a complete-game shutout today. Tune in to WGN or something to find out, and Play Ball!