Saturday, March 7, 2009

Saturday Studmuffins: ESPN's Bill Simmons

Old No. 7 tipped me off to the wisely weirdish thoughts of Bill Simmons. Apparently, the Sports Guy hadn't "emptied his mailbag" yet this calendar year. When he did, there were a few doozies in it. Okay, one. Pick up what I'm puttin' down after the jump.

The topic to which I refer came via this post, and I while I don't aim to take it as Gospel, I do accept it, in that it's teeming with positivism, something we haven't had as a theme for Kansas City pro sports for far too long. And yes, Rustoleum, Kansas City has pro sports. I know you're reading and were dying to make that comment. Eat shit, you smashed sack of assholes.

Back to Mr. Simmons:

"By the way, listen to Monday's B.S. Report if you want to hear me make the case for the 2009 Chiefs as a phenomenal bet at 100-to-1 to win the Super Bowl, thanks to my theory that the success of one team can become a sports colonic for that city's fans, turn them from "glass half-empty" to "glass half-full" and ignite every other team in the city. I see the Royals kicking off things by becoming this year's 2008 Rays, followed by an NBA team moving to K.C. in June or July. Then in September, with the pennant race heating up and K.C. fans already delirious, the Chiefs will charge out of the gate with four straight wins … although there's a sobering moment when Joe Posnanski's head tragically explodes as he's crafting a column trying to put everything in perspective. Just be prepared. Wait, you don't believe me?"

Jackpot. Count it.


Cecil said...

Bill Simmons hasn't merely jumped the shark, he's circled it in space aboard a manned Russian satellite.