Monday, March 2, 2009

Monday Miscellany: Bee to tha' Mizz-arsh

Denver Bronco Godsend Brandon Marshall was arrested on Sunday for a fight with his fiancee. ESPN is reporting that the charges for disorderly conduct have been dismissed, but that doesn't change the fact that this was Marshall's fourth arrest in the last three years. Folks are speculating that the commissioner/league will still look into the matter, and there're even suspension-related topics being slung about, some even have the words year-long attached to them. Ultimately though, this is really dumb. Why? Well, the House of Georges has become accustomed to certain specifics being tied to arrests of Chief and Bronco players, and frankly, when said specifics don't appear, we're left scratching our heads, looking for the answer to this question: What's missing from this big picture?

Well, for starters...

...if you're gonna get arrested for a domestic dispute in Atlanta, everyone knows that there'd better be a burning mansion involved.

And to make it picture perfect, throw in a sassy female rapper, too. But if you can't make that happen, please, please

make sure there's plenty of booze,

and at least one firearm in the mix. If you find that too tall an order, bare minimum, you've got to at least have one of these near the scene:

Finally, and this is like double-secret last resort: If none of the above are available to your arrest, it is mandatory that you at least expectorate on, or very near an officer of the law, warranting the placement of one of these to your face:

Now get out there and get arrested the right way. And as always, you stay classy HoG athletes.


Cecil said...

Nice new leaf, Brandon.

This is the final straw. The new guys didn't draft him. He's outta here.

And Jay Cutler supposedly asked for a trade after Jeremy Bates left?