Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Wednesday WhatYouWill: Who Done Made Oakland 'Dey Bitch Mo' Often?

If there's one thing the old Iron Triangle of the House of Georges can agree on, it's that we're lazy. Now, our individual lazinesses will amaze you with the different angles and degrees they embody, but in the end, our collective sloth really needs you to type these words for us -- we're that lazy. Now, a certain leg of said triangle has this tendency vanish for periods of time, then re-appear, all Sleepy Hollow-like, and drop comment bombs all over the lazy work we've barely been managing to accomplish.

Now I'm not going to point fingers or drum up some Power Point, but if you look, oh, I dunno, roughly in this area, you might get an idea of that which I speak.

So naturally, I looked into it, and hey, why not give Oakland some shoutage since they've finally figured out who Lane Kiffin's replacement is.

Over the course of the last 30 NFL seasons (Editor's Note: I think that's post-stegosaurs, but I am also a dim-witted imbecile.), the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos have played the Raiders -- be they the Oakland or the Los Angeline variety -- on a few occasions. Now, before I share my findings, understand that said comment bomber will likely point to some specific two-to-three-span, and claim it was that era to which he referred. Nevertheless, finding suggest that from the years 1979-2008:

1) The Denver Broncos went 31-28 against the Raiders.
2) The Kansas City Chiefs went 37-22 against the Raiders.
3) The Broncos swept the Raiders 12 times in that span; the Chiefs did it 13.
4) Denver was swept by the Raiders 10 times since '79; Kansas City lost both contests in the same season only half as many times.
5) Post-season results: In 1991, the Chiefs knocked off the Raiders 10-6 in the wildcard round. Two years later, Oakland stomped Denver 42-24, also in the wildcard contest. In that game, the Horse-Faced Colts Draft put 302 passing yards in the air, and 156 of them were caught by Horse Lips, a.k.a. the non-Astroglide-offering vessel of earth.

Now. The other factor is that said bomber will also likely offer a speech about the coveted 1997-98 seasons werein Brett Favre and poor Dan Reeves were wronged by the gods, so make sure you've had your juice and cookie by then, and get your cot and blankie out. It promises to be a snoozer.

But, examining those five numbered facts kinda makes one wonder: who had the heavier hand in the destruction of the Raider mystique?


Commish CH said...

Tom Cable: 11-35 as Idaho head coach and a healthy resemblance to Del Griffith.

Cecil said...


Cecil said...

Also: it hurt the Oaklanders more because it was Shanahan doing it. They're so myopic and loony that they only really care about themselves; just check out teh internets.

Since Shanny was an ex-Raider, it hurt all the more, even if they didn't really want him. Or something. They are a mysterious bunch.