Wednesday, December 10, 2008

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Slavin' over the Hot Stove

Well it's that time of year again, when the Yankees shell out chunks of Fort Knox to free agents like CC Sabathia, and the Cleveland Indians acquire the Kerry Woods up from the National-League Chicagos. Orlando Hudson might be tabbing a new zip code as well, and Rafael Furcal -- the guy that gets you free lap dances if you draft him in our fantasy league -- has narrowed his desirable-teams list to four, one of which is the Kansas City Royals. I'm sure Milton Bradley's name's being thrown around a bunch, too, but whatever. And all of this, somehow, we've come to know as the hot stove of baseball's off-season. I have a vague understanding of why this terminology was selected, but as usual, I needed the assistance of some life forms that bear higher intelligence. This brings us to today, where we've procured a panel of experts. Said intelligencia, after the jump.

Hillary Fisher



Miss Fisher knows how warm it can get around the stoves, what with checks being signed at scorching velocities, so she keeps things cool in the wardrobe department.

Michelle Panzarella



Michelle thinks the theory derived from the notion that these signings often happen in pairs, like two electric burners nestled side by side.



She's impressed with the holding out of the now-richest starter in baseball history,



and is glad he bent the Steinbrenners over.



She's also holding out for the all-powerful, New York-style Rod of K, whatever that is.

Mina Morgan



Miss Morgan knows that free agents are fickle.



She expects them to waffle one day,



and return to their previous form the next.

Evelyn Lory



Evelyn suggests that all owners watch their backs,

Jana Cova



while Miss Cova prefers to face the negotiations head on.

Jessica Jey



The lovely Double J likes to harness a griddle over the burners of said talks.



With such an implement in place, she can keep her lazy eye on potential shenanigans,



semi-watchful for any slips or slides.

Kate Jones



Kate just puts the goods on the table, take them or leave them.

Katie Fey



Miss Fey, on the other hand, finds the trade talks tiring,



troubled to think of anything she'd like to be a part of less.

Nicole Violet Albright



Nicole keeps the items atop her stove at a simmer,



confident that such a decision exudes a sense of welcome,



a back-door-friends-are-best sort of mentality seldom found anymore.

Veronika Fasterova



And Veronika? She doesn't deal with any of the fluff; If an agent wants to put something past her, it'll have to be slid through on the down low.

That's your stove top for today. Thanks to the Masks and the Niners for keepin' us in the trade loop.

1 comments:

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