Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Tradition Tuesday: Non Sequitur By Choice, Southern By The Grace Of God

Welcome To The House of Georges, your one-stop shop for all aspects of the nearly five-decade rivalry between the Denver Broncos and the erstwhile Dallas Texans. Long ago in a galaxy far, far away, your authors began The Tradition, in which we Broncos fans matriculate out to Missouri to watch our team. Chiefs fans return the favor and travel to Colorado to watch theirs. We eat, drink, debate the relative merits of personnel decisions, and we witness the occasional drunken brawl in our section. Fine times.

This is Tradition Tuesday, your weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.


Following the September 28 fiasco at Arrowhead, AFC West fans were left wondering: Are the Chiefs for real? Are the Broncos wildly overrated? Will San Diego end up running away with this division after all, like we once expected? Is Al Davis still alive?

Judging by this past week's action, we have some answers: No, Not Really, Doubtful, Absolutely Not.

THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

KC visited the Carolina Panthers and got shut out 34-0. It's clear that this team is awful and that the win over the Broncos was most likely a one-week mirage. The steady hand that Damon Huard showed against Denver disappeared--he threw for 86 yards and two picks while fumbling twice in Charlotte. Larry Johnson rushed for 196 fewer yards than he did against the Broncos. I didn't watch this game--thank you, sweet Lord baby Jesus--but I think we can conclude that KC won't be turning anything around in 2008.

THE DENVER BRONCOS

What is D gate? The Broncos finally won a game that was neither an offensive shootout, a refereeing disaster or both. The defense manhandled Tampa's rushing game, knocked Brian Griese out for the afternoon and weathered the late-game surge by Jeff Garcia, who smells like a rat. Should this team ever assemble all of its divergent parts--the devastating aerial assault we've seen in flashes, the glimpse of a pass rush evident Sunday, the potentially awesome kicking game--you could have yourself a ballclub.

I must note that the fact Eddie Royal sprained his ankle and may miss the Jacksonville game caused me unimaginable pain and loss. Eddie Royal is my security blanket. I have more hetero man-love for him than I do for anyone, and I might just need to leave the room for a while.

THE SAN DIEGO LESS-THAN-SUPER CHARGERS

Where are your Hochuli conspiracies now, Charger fans? The fact is that your team is pretty darned average. Your Hall of Fame running back is not clutch, your defense is pretty pedestrian when robbed of its roidbunny, and you have all the Norv any one team needs. The good news is first team to nine wins takes this division.

THE OAKLAND RAIDERS

Tom Cable, ladies and gentlemen.

Not many people know this, but I was actually the other finalist for the head coaching job. The news release would have read as such:

The Oakland Raiders today hired a 35-year-old Colorado blogger to take over the franchise. He refused to give his real name, but Coach Old No. 7 promised to return the Silver & Black to their glory days be reinstalling the vertical passing game.

"We're going deep every single play, so adjust your coverage schemes accordingly," 7 said. "We're also going for it every fourth down, installing a permanent 11-man blitz package on defense and equipping our captains with firearms."

Owner Al Davis wore a popcorn bucket on his head throughout the press conference.
Now honestly, would reading that have surprised you? Best of luck, Coach Cable.

1 comments:

The Lone Reader said...

Down year for the AFC West indeed.

If the Broncos don't step-up, it's gonna be downright embarrassing.

You gotta love watchin' King Carl go down in flames. It's pretty sad that it came to this.

-- TLR