Wednesday, August 27, 2008

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Your Obligatory, Terribly Titled Fox-y Lady Edition

Normally this feature doesn't appear in the House until late in the afternoon, but I've got fantasy football draft one of three this evening, and I've got to take the dog to the vet, attempt to clean (our actual) house, etc., therefore, it's coming at you pre-noon style. As always, I'm sure our readership will enjoy the craftily crafted verbage composed to accompany each image, and rain praises on us for our fine efforts in the comments. Whether or not that happens is miniscule in the galaxy of importance as the news I just uncovered (Editor's Note: I'm usually about three and-a-half calendar years behind the real world.): Our good friend Gary Coleman got married? To John Elway's daughter? This happened at the end of last year, and they were divorced within six months? On "Divorce Court"?

Megan Fox



On second thought, eff that. Most of the fackers that view WAHCW are freaks and pervs wasting hours of each day doing Google image searches of attractive celebrities like Megan Fox. Why waste my own time on such losers?



I mean, she is a sensation that's sweeping the nation.



But it's not like I got all day to come up with crap to say about her.



We know that the paparazzi's all over her,



especially since she was in some movie.



Seems some sports blogger or another's doing a spread on her almost daily,



and those guys have larger audiences,



are more professional,



and likely get paid a lot more to do this stuff.



So why would we put in the effort?



For the love of it?



The passion?



Forget that.



Okay. We are all smiles about the House of Georges,



and typically, when we see something we like, we'll go after it.



Let this be understood, though: It ain't for you Google image twerps.



It's for the actual readers, the 'tweeners if you will (Note: I have no idea what that means.).



There. The writing's on the rib cage wall.



No longer will I stare at my monitor for hours upon end, Carpalling myself into a Tunnel,



just to collect a pile of imagery for you oglers,



then feigning glee over the words created to accompany said images.



I'm serious.



I'm looking out at you all, with puffed chest to communicate this message:



"No longer will I dream up clever phrases to go along with cleavage shots."



The well is dry; I've got nothing else tucked away.



From now on, it's cruise control time. I'll just lean back and let the Web do the work.



It's not like the commentary in this feature has given me much to smile about.



Sure. Commish CH has always been appreciative, but the rest of you don't offer Jack.



It's time to stretch, relax, take it easy,



and not worry so much about filling this figurative cup.



My time'd be better spent doing a little research,



or doing some real journalistic reporting out there in the field.



I hear outside's where it's at: fresh air, sunshine, the opposite of this muggy basement.



Or I could just forget the whole thing, and spend my afternoons napping.



After all, I'm most comfortable chillin' in the bedroom in my drawers.



I'd have to mix it up, though; maybe occasionally move to the living room.



And I suppose I'd have to bathe once or twice.



But it'd be nice if I could just channel these posts in their entirety from some unknown source,



Because ultimately, when it comes down to collecting fresh material, my back's against the wall,



my innermost abilities to write something new and different exposed.



At least that's how it feels from the inside looking out.



But if you, the unknown reader, can look me in the eye, and tell me differently...



...then perhaps I'll again put my brain to work on this feature next week.



If not, I'll certainly look back on it with fond memories,



smile at some of the notes we've made,



and know that at least we gave it the ol' college try.



When it comes to fresh and new, though, we've exhausted most everything under the hood.



So bat your eyes and stroke our egos, fans of WAHCW,



and sink your fingers into something else your keyboards.



We've worked tirelessly at this weekly gig,



and it's time we hear how much, or how little, it blows you away.

And that's all she wrote. The Fox in the pen comes to us courtesy of on205th, MegansaFox, and, of course, Gorilla Mask. Barring any lack of commentary, We'll see you next time.

1 comments:

rustoleum said...

Hot Chicks Wednesday should be more like this every week...only less longwinded.