Thursday, August 28, 2008

Thursday ThumbTubes and YouNails: 8-28-08

It's another lovely Thursday here in the Middle West, and the final pre-season Chiefs game will have happened when we wake up tomorrow. That, of course, means that we'll be fully prepared to travel to Foxboro one week from Sunday, and Denver of course, will square off with Lane Kiffin and his Black Hole. Good, good times we simply can't wait for.

Until then, other stuff will happen, people will write about it, and we'll link to them. 'Cause that's just how goddamn good we are here at the House of Georges. Brimming with originality. Overwhelmed by our own creative sides. Let's look at some samples.

I usually stop by the WithLeathers at least daily. Why? Because they write some pretty funny stuff on a pretty regular basis. Today's no exception:

NFL - Shawne Merriman, possessing the natural intelligence of any former Terp, has decided to forgo surgery in favor of playing with torn ligaments in his left knee. This is a guy who plays in the same division as the Broncos, even. Enjoy being cut down permanently by that first chop-block, big guy.

I also pop in to the KSKs frequently. I've secretly been awaiting their AFC West preview for some time now, and today they finally delivered it. Analysis? Color me disappointed. I mean, it actually sucks horse scrotum. Now, they are a humor site, and they ain't tryin' to be serious about much, but come on, fellas. Highlights, if you could call them that, are as such:

QB Brodie Croyle lost all six games that he started last season. He played his college football at Alabama, where he perfected his unique, ellipically-shaped haircut, which he refers to simply as “Follicle Village...Star linebacker Derrick Thomas died suddenly in 2000, so look for him to see reduced action this year.”

Really? That's all you got? Oh, wait. There is this:

Look for Herm and the crew to tie their first 11 games and then back into a nice, Top-10 draft pick for 2009. You heard it here first.

Alright. That's kind of funny.

"Before this past offseason, Brandon Marshall once cut his hand on a toaster oven after a angry discussion that began with an excessively hot Cherry Pop Tart. In fact, many of the appliances in Marshall’s home meet in the living room on Tuesdays for group therapy sessions...Head coach Mike Shanahan has been with the Broncos for so long, the Denver Post has a historical back page feature called “Before That Rat-Faced Fuck Ran John Elway Out Of Town...The city of Denver is 5,280 feet above sea level, and roughly 7,000 feet above reality."

Partially funny, but nothing extraordinary.

And since football season is as near to beginning as it could possibly be, there's this gem, courtesy of Hugging Harold Reynolds:

In Kansas City baseball news, the talk radios were saturated with one story in particular yesterday. It involved Royals' outfielder Jose Guillen. When the Royals offered Guillen the largest contract in franchise history this past off-season, many folks deemed the deed a mistake, claiming that he has a history of being a team cancer, and that that is evidenced by his playing for eight ball clubs in nine years. I have no idea what they're talking about, personally. I've not seen, or heard of any issues involving him this season. Moving on...

(clip courtesy of The Big Lead)

Big League Stew links to this Chicago Tribune story in which the case in point centers on an all-Chicago World Series,

which apparently spells doom for the NL variety of Illinois baseball. Who knew?

Anyway, the Governer's Cup is getting underway, with America's favorite Crimson Tide alum Brodie Croyle taking snaps for the good guys, which means I'm out.