Tradition Tuesday: The Colbert Report

The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos. At least that's what we tell the cops. Honestly, deep down, I don't want a rivalry. I want to destroy those assholes, every single time I see them.

Whoa, what happened? I must have blacked out. Anyway, blah, blah, blah, that's when we started The Tradition and this weekly state-of-the-rivalry address. Enjoy.

Before we begin, our brethren over at Orange Bucksnorts have alerted us to a nice little time-waster out there on the series of tubes. Mile High Report has put together a feature seeking to identify the greatest Bronco ever to wear any particular number. Even better, they started it with roughly 100 days to go until the season opener, so you can check in every day to haggle over whether, say, who's the top #87 in team history? Is it Tombstone Jackson, Lionel Taylor, or Eddie Mac? Check it out.

Dave Krieger, who continues to be the most understated, dignified and readable (not to mention usually boring and sanctimonious, but still) columnist left in the Denver dailies, put forth an interesting idea in his piece yesterday. He examined Shanahan's recent penchant for signing/drafting troublemaking players, then contrasted that with the composition of the Super Bowl teams of the late 90s. Specifically, is Keary Colbert the next Rod Smith?

This goofy premise almost caused me to skip the column, but I'm glad I stuck with it. Take any Bronco fan from 1995 and ask them if they'd prefer Rod Smith or Eddie Mac to Anthony Miller or Mike Pritchard. 100 out of 100 would take the latter. But what obviously worked was sticking with higher-character, harder-working, less-talented guys at the position. Fast forward to 2008, and take another look at the maligned Mr. Colbert.

I was so underwhelmed when Denver signed Colbert that I scarcely remember getting the news. I know where I was when I heard we picked up Javon Walker. I can recall my exact location when I found out about the Portis/Champ trade. But Colbert? No clue.

No matter how promising this premise might be, that the Broncos are entering a new phase in which they'll consider locker-room impact as much as on-field performance in acquiring players, I still doubt Keary Colbert is going to any Pro Bowls. But if this move to emphasizing quality teammates is legitimate, and the draft pipeline of young studs remains open, we could be on to something here.

I'm no moralist. I don't really care if my Broncos are nice guys, within reason. DUIs really bug me, because they're stupid, eminently avoidable, and they endanger the public. And obviously, there's never ever an excuse for hitting your woman, Michael Pittman. But if a guy's simply an asshole, I could care less so long as he makes plays.

There is an argument to be made, however, that of the three major team sports, team harmony is most important to a football team. Baseball players needn't like or respect each other to put up their numbers. And while basketball requires teamwork, you can technically still play at a high level without everyone being all gay for one another.

Those games, however, are played nearly every day. The mind-numbing routine of an 82- or 162-game season allows a player to tune out many distractions, including the complete dick in the next locker. On an NFL team you must get along. It's acceptable, if you play offense, to loathe your defensive teammates. And a healthy amount of tension between players and coaches is cool. And, of course, kickers are dog shit. But when every game is a war, every yard a battleground, every first down life and death, men must look out for one another. Ask Kellen Winslow:

So when you're a soldier, and you're on the field of battle, I can see where a selfish prick like Javon Walker hurts the cause. And where, if Keary Colbert is willing to jump on a few grenades in a few foxholes, he's a righteous combatant. And now I'm mercifully officially out of military metaphors. God bless America.

I've been pleading with Shanahan for the last several years to actually rebuild this club. Take your medicine, concede the division to the Chargers, and play for 2010. Look, a team of 53 Rod Smiths is my kind of team. But I really doubt they could stop the run either. You need talent, and that talent comes at a cost. Good players are, often, miserable human beings. But if you can bring in studs that don't upset the apple cart, while filling out your roster with some good-government types like Keary Colbert, I'm on board.

So long as you don't totally suck, that is. If Keary Colbert goes 4-12 I will hire Travis Henry to impregnate his wife and Rae Carruth to murder her. Just sayin'.