Monday, March 10, 2008

Vernon Gholston is Using Steroids. Repeat.


Vernon Gholston ran a 4.67 at the combine with a 35.5 vertical leap. That's pretty good, yes? A couple of days ago, at Ohio State's Pro Day, he ran a 4.58 40 and jumped 42 inches in the air. 42 inches!

(For those of you who've read Peter Schrager's bit on Fox Sports and noticed a certain similarity of opinion, drop your clubs and douse the torches. Not done yet.)

That's even better. So much better, actually, that there's gotta be something else going on.

Other writers may dance around the subject, but we here at the HoG don't mince words. Or meat. Or pies. Or any combo thereof. We keep the talk straight as the whiskey. Thus, we logically arrive at steroids.

Or HGH. Or south Russian camel fertility potions. Lox with milk and butter and Stanozolol. Whatever it was, Vern did it. How the fuck else do you knock a full second off your 40 time in two weeks? And gain 7 inches on your high jump?

Stinks to high heaven, but hey--the guy was Big 10 Defensive Player of the Year, and if he drops to #12, you'd best believe I'd be hollering for the Broncos to snatch him and his box of chemicals. Not that it'll happen--this recent bit of obvious drug use has helped raise Gholston's stock to the position where a buncha doucheboxes think he might have to worry about being drafted into Parcells' Miami loser mafia.



7 comments:

gcp said...

you don't know what you're talking about do you? See, the way math works, going from 4.65 seconds to 4.58 means you shaved 7 hundredths of one second off your time. A full second would mean he went from 4.65 to 3.65. As for the broad jump, it just means he didn't jump his best at the combine, kind of like how I am sure you didn't write your best when writing this post. Look at Mario Manningham, he shaved 17 hundredths off his time, and added 3 inches to his vertical between the combine and his pro day.

Also, none of your links go to anything that would back these baseless claims up. So just tell the truth, it's your gut feeling and nothing else.

Anonymous said...

He may well be on the juice, but your argument is hopeless. There are a myriad of factors that could result in this kind of deviation. Furthermore, steroids are rarely going to make such an impact in 2 weeks...

Cecil said...

How did someone find this silly, pot-stirring post more than a year later?

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