Friday, August 10, 2007

Draining Camp; or, Why I Get Hives When I Read the Words "Groin Tear"

But more often, I worry about my team. Not that zombies aren't worth the energy, because anyone who's had one of those undead suckers gnawing on their temple knows just how inconvenient they can be...

Sot he Broncos are winding up training camp. It's been a rough one this year. Aside from having basically our entire starting corps of wideouts nursing some sort of injury--where have you gone, Brandons Marshall and Stokley?--leaving us with guys like Glenn Martinez taking reps with the first team, our O-line is hurting pretty bad. Ben Hamilton got a concussion and hasn't practiced in days. Matt Lepsis, who you must agree looks a lot like a giant hairy baby, had an MRI to see if he had, in fact, torn his groin. Jesus. Talk about words that should never, ever appear in the same sentence.

To further grey my hair, young Chris Kuper is in danger of losing his potential starting job to Montrae Holland, who wasn't good enough to start for the Saints last year. That's really nothing against him, since the New Orleans franchise had one of the league's best lines, and he's a pretty solid player--but Kuper was a coach's favorite. They expected him to win that right guard spot. The fact that he can't, and that they're moving him around the line, sets my teeth against each other.

Oh, and Jay Cutler has tendinitis in his right wrist. Fuck the rest of this post. Does anyone know of a good solid shower head near Colfax and Broadway? I'm gonna nip off and hang myself.

All of us--Broncos and fans alike--need the season to start. We're sick of all this practice (we talkin' about practice!), all of these nagging injuries that probably seem worse than they are, all of Jim Armstrong's mind-numbing "analysis."

On a slightly different note, has anyone else noticed Paul "Dr. Z" Zimmerman's slow descent into complete worthlessness? I used to admire his take on the game and its history, but he's killing me with his meatheaded stance on Broncos in the HoF. His column today on contained this line, in response to an e-mailers query about what was keeping Louie Wright, Randy Gradishar and Gary Z. out: "What's keeping them out? Stronger candidates, that's what." Maybe you could ladle up an extra serving of snide, you embittered old creep.