Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Guest DJ Scratchin': The Lone Reader Brings On the Soccer in the Motha'Effin' Nighttime

Editor's Note: Welcome back to Guest DJ Scratchin', our guest writing "series" on the House of Georges. Like our other features, it's sure to be a massive failure huge success, something we all bask on for months and years to come. The debut effort by the one and only Lone Reader, wherein he examines the infinitely popular game of soccer can be found here, his follow up here. This installment, you guessed it, is also about soccer. There's some soccer happenin' out there in the world, and TLR's gonna break it down for y'all.

Yes sirree, folks, the Men’s U-20 World Cup STILL ISN’T OVER. The future of world soccer is down to four teams. When is the Women’s U-20? Now that would be worth watchin’. There ya go,bankmeister, WAHCW featuring soccer starlets and that HOT team USA pitcher. I digress.

I went a solid one for fucking four with my picks last round. That’s a goddamn disaster. It sounds like a single-game stat line for a Colorado Rockies MVP candidate.

North America’s quest for world soccer domination fell short, and we’re left with a couple of fuckin’ Europeein’ teams, and two South American powerhouses.

From here on out, I can do no wrong. Put your money on the table.

Czech Republic vs. Austria (The Europeeing showdown)

Fuck this game.

Austria snuck by the USA with the help of a downpour and some sloppy bounces. The US could not answer, and the surprising Austrian team moved on. Spain’s predictable choke came earlier than I anticipated as the Czech Republic proved a worthy adversary. The Czechs have a history of showing up in tournaments, and have played solid in all phases of the game. Rain isn’t in the forecast, and the Czechs are hot. The Czech Republic will win the pissin’ contest 2-0.

Chile vs. Argentina

This may well be the game of the tournament. Chile has yet to give up a goal, and Argentina seems to score at will. I don’t have a fuckin’ clue where to go with this one. The Argentinians WERE the clear favorites, but Chile has a lot more to prove. Much like hockey, a hot goalkeeper is tough beat. I think that’s the way it’ll go. The Chilean defense will frustrate Argentina early, but will give up their first goal late. It won’t be enough for the Argentinians. Chile will face the Czechs in the final after defeating Argentina 2-1.

Book it, sergeant. These picks are done like the Broncos piss-ass, hand-me-down D-Line.