Wednesday, June 20, 2007

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: The Sultry Stare

In our continuing efforts to bring you the latest, freshest breaking news in the world of athletic competitions and hot measty cleavages, we've pilfered some more images that some other guy posted on some other, clearly not-as-important CyberWebs locale.

It's hard, thankless work, but we know the show must go on.

I'll assume that this fun-filled collection contains nothing shy of lovely ladies our readers have yet to meet, but wouldn't mind doing so.





Karina Jelinek

This adorable 26-year-old gal from Argentina likes to work out. I mean, she's a staple for exercise at gyms in Buenos Aires. And by staple, I mean the kind that won't come out of the stapler, thus detracting one from accomplishing what was originally desired. Her workout suits set quite the fashion trend, too. It's a bizarre trend, one in which men fashion themselves mopping up piles of slobber from the head rest of the leg press sled. Her gym has actually asked her to contribute paper towels a la the box of Kleenex you brought to home room at the beginning of each year in elementary school.

Whether or not the following quote has to do with Kleenex, I'm not sure. Miss Jelinek, however has been quoted as saying, "I like them to grease me with honey or chocolate and remove it with their tongue, slowly." I'm also unsure if she insisted that comma be there, but I sure can dig on some grammar.

Kelly Brook


A delightful 27-year-old, originally from Rochester, England, Miss Brook has been handed countless awards for her tits stunning ability to give photographers "that look". She's also engaged to Billy Zane, famous (to me anyway) for playing the asshole engaged to Rose in the movie "Titanic." Hello? Rose didn't want to marry him. Why would you, Miss Brook? Find out more about her at her official Web site.

Michelle Ryan


Another gem from Britain (London to be exact), Miss Ryan, a young 23, dazzles viewers with her fitness, be it portrayed in color or the silently sizzling classic appeal of black-and-white. She's been ranked in the top 100 of FHM's Sexiest Women in four of the last five years. Shocker. What really sold me on her, though, was that "Last of the Mohicans" is her favorite flick. It's easily one of my all-time favorites as well. Yep. I'm a member of the non-gay Daniel Day Lewis fan club. His work in that movie, along with "Gangs of New York" and "In the Name of the Father" sold me on a lifetime membership. Clearly, one more reason for Miss Ryan and I to date. I mean mate.

Sarita Stella


Sarita Stella never banged Bob Barker before he finally called it a career. Well, not that the HoG is aware of anyway. She did, however, model some products for the grand old "The Price is Right." The price on that hiring was definitely not wrong, bitch. Another thing we like about Miss Stella is that she's not a wanker (see brief, non-evidenced bio on previous two hot chicks). Nope. She's an Aussie. So, naturally, she has extreme/demanded ties of loyalty to the royal kingdom, but whatever. Finally, she's engaged to a football player named Brodie. I'll bet her husband-to-be isn't as talented and studly as this guy, but, hey, you can't have it all.

Stephanie Loren


Ah. Nothing like a nice, 24-year-old Californian to be the highlight of crash your lingerie party. She's managed to knock out two of the HoG's three criteria for Miss Universe; in her novice career, she's already been one of Playboy's painted lady models, and she attended Hef's off-the-hook Halloween party. I also like that she notes on her resume that she was some California radio station's "Hot Chick of the Day." Hmph. Those is small beans compared to making an appearance on WAHCW. Come on, now. We hope to see that updated by week's end.

Abigail Clancy


We're not sure why Miss Clancy has to tease us with the sheet, but it's all good. The lovely Liverpool, England native is all of 21. She's got plenty of time to learn. Her young career highlights include a tidbit I'm not sure how to include. Wikipedia, a Web domain I'm all too fond of not using, claims that she "is the new face and body of Pussy Glamore's winter lingerie collection alongside Elizabeth Jagger in photos shot by Bryan Adams." Yeah. For real. First of all, there's a magazine called Pussy Glamore? Second of all, Steven Tyler and Mick Jagger both have attractive daughers? Turns out they do. Finally, Bryan Adams takes pictures of hot chicks? I am totally flippin' flabbergasted by that. Really. Shouldn't that guy be hanging out in a treehouse with Meatloaf somewhere in Alberta? Christ. I thought we'd thrown him in the tower after his last musical endeavor, but no. He snaps shots of girls. Savory.

Angelica Bridges


Finally. A girl from Missouri. Who likes hockey. And bangs (her daughter Valentina Raine Souray will be four this fall). The kid's father still plays some brutal D, but he's no longer in the picture. Game on!

Jessica Burciaga


This young lady has some hot pics of herself up on her myspace page. You can check out her official Web page, too. She's a 24-year-old Californian. And, she has a Web cam schedule on her page. Holla'! Oh, and be careful if you click the photos link on her site. It's got some NSFWish action going on there.

Joanna Krupa


Miss Krupa, a native of Warsaw, Poland, will be 26 this year. She's another one of those leading ladies that's knocked out the competition in the hot body awards contests that happen (apparently the HoG's tickets to said functions continue to get lost in the mail) on a semi-regular basis. Miss Krupa now resides in splendid Los Angeles, which, though high in pollution, allows one to obtain employment in the position of juggy dancer for "The Man Show." God, I love those guys. You can peep her InterWebs locale here.


Jurgita Valts


Far and beyond, hands down, without question or doubt, the HoG's favorite of the selection of sultry stare-esses. Feel free to scope her myspace page
here. I'd post some other links of this fine-ass 27-year-old from Philly, but none of them would be kosher for work. We can't really tell you much more about her, except for that she's very hot and frequently naked. Shouldn't be too tough.

That's all for this installment. Be sure to tune in next week when Old No. 7 blows the lid off the joint with full-nude, transvestite fisting his in-depth perspective on just what is a We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday hot chick.


2 comments:

@slushygutter said...

Kelly Brook...she's got me babbling. Oh my.

Angelica Bridges, I think she was in some old Troy Aikman commercial where she sacks him. If she's playing D-End, I'm running bootlegs to her side everytime. Yikes.

old no. 7 said...

Daniel Day-Lewis? He was awfully good in Gangs of New York, and that movie sucked. I like the "theme" this week, so long as the theme is hot ass women and Billy Zane.